Comments on: Happiness Is Conversation

By: Hard Conversations. Have Them. | ivy league insecurities

Hard Conversations. Have Them. | ivy league insecurities — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 10:03:33 +0000

[...] said it before on this blog. For me, happiness is conversation. I believe this. This is why I write. Because writing a novel? It is having one long and winding [...]

By: Happiness Hangover | ivy league insecurities

Happiness Hangover | ivy league insecurities — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:47:02 +0000

[...] me, happiness is conversation. The more genuine, layered, open conversation I have in my life, the happier I am. But tonight is [...]

By: Happier Hours! | ivy league insecurities

Happier Hours! | ivy league insecurities — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:26:09 +0000

[...] have said this before, but for me happiness is conversation. Talking about ideas, weaving words, examining the canvas of life alongside others… These are [...]

By: Crazy Committed | ivy league insecurities

Crazy Committed | ivy league insecurities — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:50:30 +0000

[...] Too huge for a fleeting mention. I have said it before and I will say it again (and again): For me, happiness is conversation. My fondest experiences and sweetest memories are of conversations. In the last couple of weeks, I [...]

By: I Will Be Happier in Twelve Weeks! « ivy league insecurities

I Will Be Happier in Twelve Weeks! « ivy league insecurities — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:06:12 +0000

[...] romantic; and (2) Struggling on a daily basis to define happiness (I write about it over and over and I read about it constantly); and (3) Optimism is a major theme of my next novel. So this class [...]

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:08:38 +0000

Lindsey – Indeed it is a bumpy road, but like you I would choose the bumps over a smooth ride any day. I too am often drawn to the more gentler courses, and am completely in awe of people who I know who fashion more safe and predictable and settled existences for themselves. But, ultimately, there is something in me (and you it seems) that craves the chaos and the lessons it teaches.

D – I appreciate what you say about happiness being rooted in time spent with loved ones. I couldn’t agree more. But I think your vision and mine are not ultimately at odds. On some level, I think that we so appreciate moments with loved ones because of contrasting times when we felt alone or less supported. That is, we revel the time spent with family and friends perhaps because there have been times when we weren’t afforded such riches, and because we can project forward to times when certain loved ones might not be with us. So, on some level, it does come down to highs and lows, and the notion that happiness is defined in part by surrounding moments of despair. And, no, chocolate ice cream isn’t bad. But I would pick mint chocolate chip or cookie dough

By: D

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:22:13 +0000

Happiness to me is spending my life with those whose company I truly enjoy, that make me laugh, make me think, compel me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise try without them. It is the feeling I get when I get home from work and my kids greet me with matching big hellos and hugs. As I’ve said before, life (and what makes it a happy life) is about small moments, and not necessarily the ones you’d think. The first time I saw my daughter at a track meet run faster than I ever could choked me up. My son signing his “love song” with the accompanying arm motions gets me every time.
I’ve noticed that my own achievements, while I am proud of them, do not really make me happy as much satisfied that things went well. I have done scores of trials in my career, but I never feel “happy” when I win (often I feel slightly bad for my opponent), though I am pleased I helped obtain justice for the victims. Conversely, I have lost 2 trials and I remember everything about them, including my unhappiness with the result. Maybe my reactions are less about happiness and more derivative of my own neuroses and insecurities about myself.
Ultimately, though, I think of myself as a happy person. In part I think I am happy because I have suffered profound loss in my life and I am hyper-aware how fragile everything is. That said, I try to live everyday as a good person, treating others as I hope to be treated, not that I always succeed on any of these scores, but I am always trying.
Finally, I guess I don’t define happiness as extremes or setlled and safe. I simply define happiness as living and appreciating all of what and who we have and reflecting that appreciation in our actions. That and maybe chocolate ice cream !

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:09:23 +0000

You say it more beautifully than I ever could. As does Louise Erdrich:

My life is like that – I don’t stop myself from going into the feeling, the emotion that pulls like gravity. Surely there are gentler courses, switchbacks, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to take them. – Louise Erdrich, The Blue Jay’s Dance

I have no interest in the switchbacks. Well, let me rephrase that. The switchbacks, the calmer, more stable life, often looks wildly appealing to me. But I am constitutionally unable to embrace it; something in me either chooses or is driven instinctually (and I think it’s the latter) to a life of highs and lows. I am grateful for friends out there like you who make me feel not alone on this bumpy road.