Comments on: Cardio Parenting

By: Going Breadless | ivy league insecurities

Going Breadless | ivy league insecurities — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 09:33:53 +0000

[...] tell you that I am looking for subtle, but sublime results. I am not a candidate for Biggest Loser. Thanks to grueling workouts with two tiny trainers, I am a current size four. But I am also a human being. And a woman. Who wants to look her best. [...]

By: D

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 22:28:18 +0000

I am in the same or better shape now than before kids though unfortunately not because of the same reasons you cite. I did not lose weight quickly after having my daughter. Quite the opposite, I retained 15 extra pounds, essentially by insisting on eating whatever I wanted and not exercising. I figured I was only going to have another kid, why bother with the effort. After having my son 3 years later, I retained another 15 pounds, so now I was 30 lbs overweight. I told myself it didn’t matter if I were dumpy, my kids were cute, I was somebody’s mom, what my body looked like didn’t matter. I lied to myself in that way until my son turned 2 and I wanted to adjust my life insurance. I was quoted a higher rate because I was overweight. It was that moment, that I kicked myself into gear. I started walking to work (50 blocks) and dieting on WW and lost 25 lbs in a few months. I plateaued and after my son turned 3, I started running. That was two years ago, I have lost an additional 10-15 lbs through running and I discovered I did my best thinking when I was running. I thought of ways to present my cases and birthday party themes. I dreamed up family vacations and plausible excuses to get out of having 3 week long houseguests in our small study/guest room. In short, for me running is good for my body and my mind. I am far from perfect and would love to lose 10 more pounds but even if I never lose another ounce, running has saved me. I had given up on myself in the attractiveness arena for no good reason. Not that I wouldn’t quit tomorrow if a magic skinny pill came out… but my thinking would most definitely suffer.

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:34:59 +0000

Marina – Thank you for another very thoughtful post. I do think that once we become parents, society tells us to focus inward on our families, in many ways to put the “me” part of our identity on hold. And I think that this is a shame because we are indeed far better parents (and people) when we are happy, when we feel like we have our own space in this world, however small, however infrequently visited. We need to remind ourselves that when we become parents, we do not cease being people. People with interests and hobbies and hopes and dreams that are sometimes independent of our parental existence. The million dollar question, it seems, is how do we carve out this space of selfhood without feeling predictable pangs of guilt and insecurity. Like you, like every other parent out there, I’m still trying to figure that out.

By: Marina

Marina — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:32:59 +0000

I’ve never posted so much to a blog in my whole life but for some reason your topics really seem to hit home. That being said, I am a self proclaimed unhappy gym rat with too little time and too many other responsibilities to ever make me a happy gym rat. I love the gym and like you described, it is my sanctuary; a place for me and only me. No wife, no mother, no boss, no friends…just me and the machines. But since our son was born (10.5 months ago) things have gone down hill and not in an “oh this is an easy run downhill” kind of way. It’s a slippery slope when the tugs of your family pull you away from being able to concentrate on yourself. Not that I don’t love my family intensely and want to spend every free moment I have with them, but I find that I am a far less happy person when I don’t get my “me time” and that makes me a much less happy mother and wife. The crazy thing is that it’s not just about my physical wellness but more about my mental wellness. It’s a time for my feathers to molt and re-generate. Perhaps this need to escape to the gym is because in all other avenues of life I hate being alone but at the gym it’s the one space where being alone is what I crave and what I need to work things out and clear my mind. And while carrying my large child around and making multiple trips up and down stairs helps, it’s just not the intensity I need to feel whole. I guess in my case I need to be a little obsessed to achieve my goal; it just doesn’t come easily when I’m not looking, at least not in this particular area of my life. But perhaps I need to rethink this approach seeing that the results I’m getting are not fulfilling and my life is clearly different than it was one year ago.