Best Night Ever (Not Really)
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At long last, here I am telling you about last Thursday night (a.k.a. “Best Night Ever” or my “affair” with Dave Matthews). Please pay careful attention to those foregoing scare quotes. These little squiggles are important qualifiers. Because, no, it was not actually the best night ever. (That would actually be a toss-up between the night I met Husband, or the night he asked me to marry him, or the night we said “I do.” And calm down. My babes were born during the day.) Furthermore, I say affair because it was a black tie affair, one at which the glorious Dave performed. That’s it. No sordid extra-marital canoodling. Yes, that would make for more interesting blog fodder, but I love Husband and he is the sole recipient of canoodles. Sorry to disappoint.
But I digress. It was an amazing night. Amazing for so many reasons. First of all, it is fun to get all dolled up, to wear a floor-length gown and high heels, to see your man in not just a tux, but his wedding tux. And this event, this affair? It was held at the American Museum of Natural History where Husband and I had our wedding reception almost exactly five years ago. So not only did we get all gussied up, but we walked hand-in-hand up those fabled front steps overlooking the park, through those vast dinosaurs made of pine and blanketed in white lights, into the front hall where our wedding guests once welcomed us for cocktails.
So Husband and I floated through that amber-lit hall, taking it all in. Guests this time. Sipping drinks and nibbling passed goodies, remembering a magical night years ago where I wore a bigger dress and he wore this same tux. And then. When it was time, we moved on. To the Hall of Ocean Life. The Big Blue Whale. The whale I worshiped as a girl. The whale that loomed low over our biggest night. The whale under which Mom and Dad and others gave their unforgettable wedding speeches. The whale under which we danced and danced and danced some more, celebrating that present moment and what was to come.
And so. Once more, Husband and I descended those grand steps, hand-in-hand, to the space where our marriage began (and where our little girls would later learn to crawl). Last time we made a grand entrance, eyes were on us, we were embraced by a sea of those we love most and took to the dance floor for our first dance. U2′s “All I Want Is You.” Despite the bevy of dance lessons, we were far from smooth. Husband stepped on my dress and I laughed hard. But we made it through. All smiles. Big, goofy smiles.
Almost five years later, we sat with my family around a round table in this same room. We looked around. We spotted familiar faces. The infamous Eliot Spitzer and his still-wife. A few tables away? The current cast of SNL, Lorne Michaels, and Jimmy Fallon. And then Tom Brokaw took the mike and initiated the auction where fellow guests offered vast sums of money for very wonderful items. And then. It was time.
Dave Matthews took the stage. Sister C and I swooned. To say that we were, and are, big Dave fans is a severe understatement. Husband was/is a fan as well. Between the members of our table, we had been to countless concerts. I remember those concerts. I remember singing along. I remember my good friend who insisted on making grilled cheese in the parking lots after the shows and selling them to giddy concertgoers (high on life and other things.) I remember listening to the music, swaying, bumping into happy strangers. I remember the fresh air and familiar tunes. I remember, in these moments, being so happy.
And so I was brought back. To my youth. To a time when I was a bit more free. To a time when I had crushes on celebrities and musicians. And when Dave was finished playing, we clapped and screamed a bit. And when many of the more seasoned (and behaved) guests began to depart, we relative babies lingered. We drank more wine. We reminisced. We roamed around the vast space under that whale. Sister C was the brave one of the pack and flitted over to the cast of SNL. I was quick to follow. We all were.
Before I knew it, we were chit-chatting with Kristen Wiig and Seth Myers and in the immediate orbit of Jimmy Fallon. We were giggling, being silly like old times. And then it was getting late. And we headed out. Up those steps once more, through the Hall of Biodiversity, a hall that means a great deal to my family for reasons I won’t go into now, back out into that fungible fresh air. Back into our current lives.
But before we went back to our home, to our jeweled life as parents, Husband and I stopped for some late night grub. Like the old days. I ordered french fries. And I gobbled them up with abandon while reliving the night with Husband, my man, my sole crush these days. We laughed and remembered. We marveled at how far we have come in five short years and how as fun as the night was, we would never choose to go back. Never.
And the next day, I had lunch with Mom. I thanked her for inviting us to this affair. My smile was giddy. “It was so much fun, Mom,” I said. “I felt so young, so free, so happy. I felt like me again.” And when I asked if she understood what I meant, she nodded. And then I followed up because I am not one to leave these things alone. I said, “Mom, adulthood is so serious. There are so many things to worry about. But it’s nice to have fun, real fun, once in a while. We need to have that kind of fun more often.”
And now I write this. Several days after the fact. And I’m thankful I’ve let some time pass, that I’ve been able to digest the nutrients of that night. Because, suddenly, that night doesn’t seem so cool. And this could very well be that it really wasn’t that amazing, but that my life, my current life, by comparison, is decidedly less celebrity-ridden and sexy and exciting. Or it could be that back in the throes of my current life, a life less free and glamorous, I now realize that I would choose this over that pretty much any day.
And as I write this, as I go on a bit too long, I listen once more to Dave. In my ear, he croons, “Celebrate we will/ Because life is short but sweet for certain…” And at these words, these old and familiar and lovely words that smack of childhood and truth, I nod. And smile. Because life is short, but sweet for certain. And all of us deserve to celebrate, to go back, to be silly, to eat late night fries, every now and then.
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If you have made it this far, tell me about the last time you went out and let go and had some old school fun. Tips on how to infuse moments of genuine celebratory fun into a more serious and sober adult life? Oh, and were/are you a Dave fan too?









I used to be a Dave fan. Now all I listen to is The Backyardigans.
So true that you need to get out and have adult conversations and silly fun and eat “usually forbidden” food. The last time I did it was in early October when hubs and I escaped to Sin City for the weekend (his 40th birthday present). We ate Japanese food and drank martinis and lost at blackjack, but we happily tossed in our chips…
I don’t have big memories to share – only a few random nights here and there where happiness and freedom took over, a few glasses of wine, a feeling of openness and delight that is sorely lacking from most days.
Your night sounds marvelous, just perfect.
xo
I actually had this bitter jealous reaction when I read the title, like “Oh no you didn’t, woman, Dave is mine!” I used to want to marry him. It’s funny reading this post though, although I don’t have kids I had a similar moment this weekend.
My boyfriend and I went out to some bars to celebrate our friend’s birthday (the one who introduced us, exactly one year before). It was an okay time, but all we really wanted was to get a take out order of gravy fries from Nectar’s and go home and scarf them in our pajamas.
It’s funny how things change in a year. Last year I mocked couples who went home early and tucked in for the night, who chose to spend time alone at home. “They have every day to hang out together – they can’t socialize and party for one night?” I used to think. And it’s not that I don’t like to go out and socialize, but it’s certainly less than I used to. I actually used to fear turning into “one of those couples.”
But I’ve never been happier in my life. And like you said, I’ll take this over that any day
I just had one of those moments this weekend! We went to a home football game at my Alma Mater; my first one in almost 9 years. I cheered, screamed, and booed with 67,301 other fans. I ate copious amounts of fried foods and drank way too much hot chocolate. We shook our angry fists at bad referee calls and karate-chopped our way through countless first-downs. It reminded me of the season ticket holding days of my freshman year at this college, when we went to every game and yelled ourselves hoarse. This is where I met my husband 10 years ago. It was a throwback to much sillier and freer times, and I loved every minute of it. Then, returning to reality and life, I came home a happier and funner mommy and shared my leftover adrenaline with the young-uns. Everyone needs that release every once in awhile, but it’s not what we live for.
What a place for a wedding reception. Really? Wow. I would have loved to see that…
Sounds like a fun evening – both of them in fact – the one 5 years prior sounds like a bit more stressful but glad you were smiles, giddy and happy.
Not much has changed in 5 years, eh?
You have a lucky fellow-canoodler.
Fun is where to choose it. From being tucked in the bed while my 8 year old reads dramatically to my 4 year old and me… to going out to a lovely concert and evening in a fancy hotel with my man. I’d take any of it. I choose to think about both and smile.
Love Dave Matthews. Love U2′s “All I Want is You.” Love the American Museum of Natural History. (We just took Big Boy there for the first time and the rapturous look on his face when he broke free from my hand, ran into the hall of dinosaurs, and yelled “Triceratops!” is one I will never forget.)
Is it bad that I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed some genuine old school fun? Bad. Yes. I needed this reminder. Thank you.
What a great story! I feel like I grew up in that museum, running around in the carpeted geology room and studying all the dioramas of animals. As a kid I went to party there once, in the dinosaur fossil wing, for a book by one of the Sesame Street guys.
A few weeks ago once of my favorite bands from when I was a teenager did an online-concert, playing a lot of their old songs that they never play live anymore. I was just “there” in my pajamas on my couch, but it took me right back to that age in a similar way to your Dave story… there’s something so powerful about those first songs you fall in love with, we create such a strong emotional tie with them, almost as if they are our identity when we’re young. So I know sort of what you mean … but then the next day you’re back to your life and it’s just as foreign again. *sigh*.
This sounds like a wonderful time! And we all need to feel like “selves” as we grow more and more absorbed into the family unit, as lovely as that unit may be. Responsibilities go with the territory, but a night off is always a good thing!
My last great event is one I’ve mentioned before – now more than a year ago, in Paris, an art opening, and interviewing an incredible French artist in his 80s whose work literally takes my breath away. I’d hardly call it an interview even; he spoke, pointed out works covering 60 years of his life, and I listened. It was sublime.
These days, my joys come at surprising moments. From my sons. And that’s as good as it gets, knowing the little ones you work so hard to raise are growing up strong and thoughtful and reaching for their best selves. I’m thinking your mom knows exactly what I mean.
okay, “so much to say,” where do i begin? (sorry for the bad DMB pun)
i’ve learned two things from this post.
1. i am much older than you.
2. you can really write.
okay, check that… i already knew number two. but back to #1… at the risk of showing my age, i’ll allow the following to be tapped out by my still-able fingertips… i saw DMB for the first time along with Lenny Kravitz, Blues Traveler, Rusted Root and others. the year was 1996. you were probably busy getting your learner’s permit. so yeah, i was a DM fan for sure. still have many of his/their songs on the iPod rotation.
which brings me to the answer of your question…the last time my wife and i really cut loose. hmm. it’s only fair to point out that we are not afraid to cut loose here and there, though our four kids keep us in check more often than not. but the last time we truly cut loose was actually quite recently. we went to a wedding in VA where i would be reunited w/ a crew i referred to as my “around the world crew,” the cast of characters i ran around with in my late twenties and early thirties. shorter, fatter, and balder than i once was, a certain degree of anxiety accompanied me along with my wife during the 7 hour car ride. she was anxious to meet the friends she had heard me speak of for the past five years. i was anxious to see old faces whose eyes might reveal surprise at seeing my old face.
all that said, we had the time of our lives and got to spend one entire weekend in a beautiful setting all by ourselves. funny thing, though, as much as we hated leaving, we couldn’t wait to get back.
i enjoyed this post, and your beautiful writing! -jco-
Sounds like a wonderful night. Dave is great! Glad you got to enjoy a beautiful evening.
Am I a Dave fan? Yes and no. I like some of his songs, but I wouldn’t go to a concert. Don’t hate me : ).
The last time I let loose and had fun was…right before baby number 1. My husband took me for a surprise anniversary getaway. It was wonderful, romantic, and fun. We had delicious food, yummy ice cream, and watched movies. Oh yeah, and we slept in. That was the best part.
I am rather young, but I still would not change my decision to become a mother for anything. It is the most rewarding thing.
Dave, oh Dave.
Don’t like him much. I mean, I like him, from what I’ve heard from live tracks etc, but the music has never really grabbed hold of me.
Now, what you really need to do is rock out to some Jimi.
JEALOUS of Seth Myers and DMB, fancy dresses, and Husband in a tux!
I love DMB, but I am late to the party. Our dear friends invited us to see DMB this past Sept the weekend before their wedding and it was amazing. It was my first real concert and I was so glad I experienced with Husband. I’ve ripped all his CD’s to the computer and have been listening to him nonstop since.
Did you see him on SNL this weekend? Hysterical.
The last time I got dressed up was for Yelp Summerfest here in Chicago. It wasn’t really a gussy up type of do, but I did so anyway. It felt really nice. The last time Husband and I got dressed up together was for the twins’ christening. I have lost so much weight that my dress is falling off me in all the pictures.
(thank you for your comments on my blog. Your words really made my day!)
Dave Matthews is the only concert I’ve seen more than once. More than twice actually. I loved and still adore him. Sounds like an AMAZING night. My problem with big nights out is that I never truly feel like my old “self” when I’m out for a night like this because in the back of my head is always the nagging voice telling me that the next day I have kids to take care of. The voice stops me from really relaxing and having that second glass of wine that I’d like to have or staying out that extra hour which would truly make the night special. Get me away for TWO nights though… THEN I can have some fun!
Truly sounded spectacular… the night and your wedding!
So it seems we both got to feel a little younger, a little free-er this weekend! Isn’t it soooo important to feel like our old young selves again? I’ve seen Dave in concert many many times but always from the very back of an open air auditorium…in the rain-soaked grass. I think I would’ve bought one of those grilled cheese sandwiches. To see him while wearing an evening gown, at a private concert? Yikes. So jealous. Sweet for certain.
Aidan – thanks for sharing that night. With one other commenter here, I will say you are so young! I love Dave but my kids have always been embarrassed their mom likes music they like. I keep telling them I liked him before some of them were born.
I love the pictures you paint with your words, the story you tell about both that night last week and that night five years ago. Again, thanks for sharing both nights!
I don’t have time. I’m shutting down here at work to get to the boys to scoop them up and take them home.
But I’m here. And I’m swooning. Because the music. And the late night fries. And the feeling that you have after a night of “fun.” When what you really know is that you have a great life. Now and then. And it leaves you hopeful for tomorrow.
With the understanding that it will always be shifting. And that it is okay to welcome that.
What a magical night Aidan. We get one night away from the kids each year and that was just last week. So that was pure fun and we enjoyed every moment! Loved hearing your story.