Comments on: Not Wanting Kids = A Different Language

By: rachel f.

rachel f. — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 06:55:16 +0000

I was married for 13 years. we did not have children. I cannot tell you how many time people asked “Don’t you guys want kids”. Why don’t you have children yet?, was a regular question. I felt like telling people that I had a medical reason for not having them. but it just did’nt happen for us. He actually had a condition that made it difficult to have children and then one day he actually had it fixed. We got a divorce and 5 years later he just had a baby with the girl he knocked up last year. Trying to figure out why this bothers me now when people still ask me “don’t you have kids?” Supposedly I’m the motherly type. Then why don’t I have any?

By: Paige

Paige — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 17:48:51 +0000

I’m 32 years old and will not be having children by choice. We are not selfish….it is our life! Since when is having children a must! It is a choice….and guess what I choose NO and I have every right to do so. I have a wonderful life of travel, peace and quiet, full nights sleep, no boring soccer games, I could go on and on and on! Please do not feel sorry for us…..we feel sorry for you, because to us this is the better life.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:38:14 +0000

More and more Americans will decide against having children. Soon, it won’t be such a taboo subject.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:36:55 +0000

I can think of something sadder: someone as shallow, idiotic, and judgmental as you.

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:42:17 +0000

I’m the oldest of 6 kids. I think I started changing diapers when I was …8?? younger??? I love my siblings. I love my little niece. But I don’t want kids. I’ve known this since high school and now on the brink of 30, I’ve never waivered, even though now I’m all grown up. Married. Happy. Childless.

So many times, I’ve gotten the “you’ll change your mind” speech from women who were either older than me or new parents themselves. It’s hard to be told someone else knows your deepest desires better than you know them yourself. So I’ve stopped answering this one as honestly as I used to. My husband and I have a divirse, organic, family farm, so when the question is raised I just tell the asker all about my kid goats, or lambs, or piglets, etc. You are right…”I don’t want kids, ever” is a statement in a forign language to many.

By: Annie

Annie — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:51:11 +0000

I have been looking for a discussion like this for some time, as I feel uncomfortable bringing up a topic like this with people I know who I worry will judge me.

I am 30, married, and always assumed that I would have children because it is what is expected and what I thought I wanted. However, the older I get and the more friends I have with children, the less I want them.

The problem? My husband and I married under the assumption that we would have a family one day. Now, he is much more interested in starting a family than I am. I don’t feel like it is fair for me to change the game plan this late in the game. It is not fair to him; it seems like I have tricked him or been dishonest, but it’s simply that my feelings have changed.

Every day, I wonder if I should go along with starting a family to preserve our marriage and the agreement we made. There seem to be no good choices.

By: papuzka

papuzka — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:34:32 +0000

I’m female and 57-years-old, never married. While it would have been nice to have someone to spend my life with, I have never had an interest in having children. There aren’t any negative feelings in me about children, or mothers, but I just don’t have maternal instincts.

I do care a great deal about helping other people, so my nurturing instincts are present. I just don’t have baby genes.

By: Celeste

Celeste — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:14:04 +0000

Dora, that is such a narrow (and dare I say bitter?) point of view. It’s shocking.

I suppose there will always be people who think like you. Such is life.

By: Dora

Dora — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:59:00 +0000

I am judgmental about women who don’t want children. I see them as selfish children themselves. And I feel sorry for them because I can’t really imaging how empty their lives must be. Especially when they get old. Nothing sadder than an old childless woman with cats.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:18:56 +0000

I read through every single comment. I’m constantly on the search for an opinion that will make things clear for me. I always thought I wanted children, and my Husband doesn’t seem to care either way at the moment. But life goals have changed my views. Not to mention my fear of the state of the world and not messing said child up. At this point I’m just thrilled to have a choice (despite pressure from future grandparents)! Thank you for your insightful post.