Pee Time
- 11
- 08
- 09
After a couple of heavier posts, I am in the mood to laugh. Are you? Yes? Good. What about peeing? Are you in the mood to do that too? Hope so.
In general, I aim to be a lady on this blog. To that end, I do my best to avoid profanity, vulgarity, and discussion of bodily fluids. In this instance, I couldn’t resist.
I was in my study the other night, hard at work polishing LIFE AFTER YES. Husband came in, clutching his BlackBerry, laughing. I asked him what was so funny and he read me an email from his good friend, our good friend. For purposes of anonymity, let’s call him King, okay? Okay. King is a fun guy, a smart guy, a hilarious guy, and his email didn’t disappoint. Important backstory: King is in a serious relationship with a wonderful girl whom Husband and I have met and really like. King and his lady live together.
Here is the bulk of the email (edited only to achieve the anonymity desired):
…but for [those] who may need a little comedy I thought I’d share a story that Lady relayed to me this AM.
Apparently she woke up at 2:30 AM when I got out of bed. She saw me walk over to our coffee table, flip open her laptop, pull my boxers down and begin to piss all over it. She then screamed which woke me up, I stopped and I then headed to the bathroom to finish the job.
I wasn’t even hammered… but didn’t remember it until she reminded me of it this AM, and then the bizarre feeling of trying to explain why I was pissing on her computer when I didn’t really know…
So, there you have it. Apologies for the verb choice (piss). I didn’t choose it. Personally, I love this little window into unmarried life. Here I am, thinking life with two kids and two cats is a bit hairy and confusing, but then I am smacked with this slice of life and realize that things are not necessarily more black and white sans wedding ring and kiddos. Ha. Sundays are my somber day and this anecdote made me laugh (and almost pee), so I thought I’d share it with you. Thanks, King!
Why did our friend pee on his Lady’s laptop in the middle of the night? Is he worried that she might become an obsessed blogger? In all seriousness, he (and we) crave your interpretations of this mysterious occurrence. Any similar stories filed away that you’d like to share? Hope so!
That’s some SERIOUS sleep walking/peeing!
I have no idea what it means, but it can’t be good
WOW. I don’t even know what to say to that. I’ve heard people doing this when they’re drunk… assuming they’re peeing over the toilet.
Frankly I was worried when you said, “flip open her laptop, pull my boxers down”. I was wondering if we were going to have to give this post an R rating!!
THAT’S HYSTERICAL!!!! i had a roommate in college once whose boyfriend at the time spent the night and peed in her underwear drawer.
not sure what either or these piss-episodes mean other than men will whip it out wherever and whenever.
Too funny. AND bizarre? (A little passive-aggressive something under the surface, that he’s not aware of?)
Love the Brussels Mannequin pisse illustration! (Gotta wonder about a country that honors its pissing boys along with smurfs and frites…)
Let me just tell you that my hubby once woke me up to the sound of him pissing in the corner of our hotel room. I yelled at him, he gave me this look like ‘Do you f-ing mind?’ and then moved to the bathroom…to finish peeing on the floor. OMG, I yelled at him, and pointed to the toilet. Do you know what he did? He spit in it and then turned around and went back to bed. OVER.SERVED. Gah.
Hopefully this dream has no deep meaning because if it does then men are more complicated than we thought and that cannot be good! I love that men are so simplistic, cut-and-dry. I count on this. Please don’t tell me that deep down they are as complicated as women:)
I witnessed a similar scene in a hotel room late one night after a wedding. A sleepy groomsman relieved himself on the silk ficus tree. Now everytime I’m in a hotel room I think about what might have happened there before. Ick!
We have actually heard a very similar story lately from a married couple we are friends with – it happened to Husband while he was in college. First week of college, husband woke up in middle of night (more than once) and peed all over his new roommate’s books. New roommate finally asked for and received transfer to different room. Husband then was assigned his second roommate – big, big football player. Big, big football player tells husband “if you pee on my stuff, I’m going to kick your ass.” That was the end of it. Husband never sleep-peed again! Maybe girlfriend should threaten King to prevent repeat occurrence or put her computer under her bed at night! xoxo