Comments on: Pathetiquette

By: On Making a Dream Come True — the halfway point

On Making a Dream Come True — the halfway point — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 07:48:46 +0000

[...] voice drew me in more and more until finally I was hooked. She uses words like virtureal, pathetiquette and digital detox to enlighten and entertain while encouraging her readers to ponder the tough [...]

By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:00:18 +0000

I’m just catching up on old posts of your blog (what fun!) and came across this one. I LOVE writing thank you notes and, I am sure this is old fashioned, but I love receiving thank you notes (not emails or text messages) but actual hand writen notes. It’s so rare to receive mail (other than bills and catalogues) these days that I love coming to home to a note from a friend and I love when a friend takes time to tell me that they enjoy my gift. I spend alot of time buying presents for others and putting thought into the gift! I’ve noticed though that I rarely receive thank-you notes. Life may just be too busy for people to find time to acknowledge gifts/actions, etc. That’s ok too!

By: Confessions of a Double D | ivy league insecurities

Confessions of a Double D | ivy league insecurities — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:04:24 +0000

[...] MORNING. On Saturday morning, I was struck by a wave of guilt about my persistent case of Pathetiquette. I told Husband that I was on a mission to knock out all thank-you notes from Christmas and [...]

By: Whatever Happens Rocks | ivy league insecurities

Whatever Happens Rocks | ivy league insecurities — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:03:09 +0000

[...] vase. The navy leather letter box that Husband gave me on our first anniversary chock full of thank-you notes I can’t bring myself to write. The lonely bottle of unopened wine. Slim. Upstanding. Proud. Sporting a black label and a [...]

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:10:37 +0000

Aidan, this was such a clever and thought-provoking post! Thanks for being brave enough to write about it. I quoted you on my blog today in my thank you note discussion. http://www.beruly.com/?p=521

By: Niki

Niki — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:59:15 +0000

Ah, see I feel the opposite of Goldfish. While I do not know Goldfish’s situation, I do know that no matter how significant the kindness I have extended to people, no matter how much I give, I would be overwhelmed with gratitude to even get a hand written note card that plainly says, “Thank you.”

The reason that is enough for me is that it is uncommon, it takes thought and time. It is not an email that we all so casually throw around in seconds from phones and laptops and other portable devices that are with us at every moment. It requires someone to plan, think about NOT writing something electronic, and not just throw out a “thank you” when it crosses their mind in person. As “easy” as a simple thank you card may seem, to me, it is the complete opposite. It is a throw back to a time when there was no technology that allowed us to express our gratitude in 30 seconds. It requires us to go get postage, to walk to the mailbox, to lick the envelope and to me, THAT is what makes it so special. Not what the actual words are, but that someone did it at all.

By: Goldfish

Goldfish — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:01:11 +0000

I did the exact same thing with wedding thank-you’s. I found a stack of them in a desk drawer a few years after our wedding. I felt sick.

This year, I have given up on thank-you notes. Because. Because I do not have the ability to thank everyone enough for what they have done for me. A note, a piece of paper, a few words do not do justice to all the kindness I have been given in a situation that has left me more vulnerable and helpless than I ever imagined I would be. I say “thank you.” Again and again. And it is so inadequate.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:40:17 +0000

Aidan,
Also not too prompt in the writing and sending of Thank You notes around these parts. When written, they are thoughtful. They are full of joy. They are full of gratitude. If after writing them, I actually get them posted and in the mail I know it’s a banner month.

Two things. I put so much pressure on myself for writing such a fantastic Thank You that I think it’s even harder to get to them when my mind is swirling with so many other things. And also, about saying “Thank you” in general: For me, saying TU implies you needed help in some way or another. Whether it’s the woman in front of you holding the door for your carriage (easy enough to thank) or a good friend taking your weepy phone call or a husband rescuing you from the seas of motherhood, sick children, dinnertime tantrums.

I was not so keen on asking for help for many years. I hear what Kitch is saying. I am better now at ASKING for the help (it’s easier with three kids in tow – really, you’ll be amazed at the shift), but it’s still ADMITTING to it that is difficult. But now? Now I delight in thanking others. In letting them know that I need them and I want them in my life and I am so grateful for it. No matter how little or small. People want to be thanked because people want to be needed.

In short, we all want to feel connected. And saying thank you is one of the most common ways to do that.

So thank YOU for writing. For words. And for that brilliant new word, Pathetiquette.

By: nic @mybottlesup

nic @mybottlesup — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:45:59 +0000

nope… i’m not… http://www.mybottlesup.com/im-not-good-at-this

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:31:33 +0000

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by ADonnRowley: Is there a cure for pathetiquette? Click to read my thank you note (yes, to you). http://bit.ly/84EbCa...