Comments on: Be Happier http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/ Ivy league Insecurites Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:30:41 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Happier Hours! | ivy league insecurities http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-5175 Happier Hours! | ivy league insecurities Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:26:26 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-5175 [...] extraordinaire and author of #1 NYT Bestseller The Happiness Project, a book some of you might know I loved. I have met Gretchen a few times and she is lovely. Gretchen was kind enough to write a [...] [...] extraordinaire and author of #1 NYT Bestseller The Happiness Project, a book some of you might know I loved. I have met Gretchen a few times and she is lovely. Gretchen was kind enough to write a [...]

]]> By: Gretchen http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2407 Gretchen Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:06:47 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2407 I saw the nice mention of my book, The Happiness Project, here. I very much appreciate those kind words and you shining a spotlight on my work. Thanks and best wishes, Gretchen I saw the nice mention of my book, The Happiness Project, here. I very much appreciate those kind words and you shining a spotlight on my work. Thanks and best wishes,
Gretchen

]]> By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2357 Aidan Donnelley Rowley Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:03:56 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2357 Welcome, 10:49 Jack :) So lawyerly of you to make that fine distinction! Ah, a fellow attorney who loves to write. Thanks for your thoughtful comment/plea... I am not sure whether I agree that asking whether we are happy means that we are less happy than we could be. I think that asking is a sign of curiosity and interest and desire for understanding and change. But I do agree that we are NEVER as happy as we could be. This, I think, is why Gretchen's book is so genius. Everyone can stand to make little changes in his/her existence to make things better. There is always more work to do. Depending on how we look at this, it is either exhausting/depressing or liberating. If we cannot by definition be Happy than we can surrender a bit and focus on the smaller tweaks. I wrote about this a bit back in my post called You Are Not Happy - http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2009/09/you-are-not-happy/ - Check it out if you are interested. Oh, and you touch on a very interesting question below, namely whether men and women have different levels of happiness or whether they internalize things differently. This is fodder for another layered post I think. Thanks for your comments! Welcome, 10:49 Jack :) So lawyerly of you to make that fine distinction! Ah, a fellow attorney who loves to write. Thanks for your thoughtful comment/plea… I am not sure whether I agree that asking whether we are happy means that we are less happy than we could be. I think that asking is a sign of curiosity and interest and desire for understanding and change. But I do agree that we are NEVER as happy as we could be. This, I think, is why Gretchen’s book is so genius. Everyone can stand to make little changes in his/her existence to make things better. There is always more work to do. Depending on how we look at this, it is either exhausting/depressing or liberating. If we cannot by definition be Happy than we can surrender a bit and focus on the smaller tweaks. I wrote about this a bit back in my post called You Are Not Happy – http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2009/09/you-are-not-happy/ – Check it out if you are interested.

Oh, and you touch on a very interesting question below, namely whether men and women have different levels of happiness or whether they internalize things differently. This is fodder for another layered post I think. Thanks for your comments!

]]> By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2356 Aidan Donnelley Rowley Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:55:48 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2356 Welcome to ILI, Kim! First of all, I love rambling. It's an underrated art form, so never apologize for rambling here. (Not that you were rambling.) I agree that there is a continuum and that depending on where we fall on said continuum, there is more or less that we can do about our happiness. I agree wholeheartedly that some people should work to realize when things are just not that sunny. There is indeed a virtue in being able to be honest and recognize that things are not ideal. Thanks for your comment. Hope the cold meds worked! Welcome to ILI, Kim! First of all, I love rambling. It’s an underrated art form, so never apologize for rambling here. (Not that you were rambling.) I agree that there is a continuum and that depending on where we fall on said continuum, there is more or less that we can do about our happiness. I agree wholeheartedly that some people should work to realize when things are just not that sunny. There is indeed a virtue in being able to be honest and recognize that things are not ideal. Thanks for your comment. Hope the cold meds worked!

]]> By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2296 Aidan Donnelley Rowley Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:15:25 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2296 Book Winner!! Book Winner!!

]]> By: Jack http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2291 Jack Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:59:29 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2291 10:49 pm Jack here (not to be confused with 5:05 pm Jack). Just wanted to add in response to 5:05 pm Jack's comment that I can't help but wonder if 5:05 pm Jack is onto something. I do think men analyze things less. But do I think men are happier than women? No. I think that men can internalize things a great deal and can't always sort out what they're feeling. Maybe women just worry about being unhappy more than men do, but we're all still equally not as happy as possible. More rambling, just in under the wire... :) 10:49 pm Jack here (not to be confused with 5:05 pm Jack). Just wanted to add in response to 5:05 pm Jack’s comment that I can’t help but wonder if 5:05 pm Jack is onto something. I do think men analyze things less. But do I think men are happier than women? No. I think that men can internalize things a great deal and can’t always sort out what they’re feeling. Maybe women just worry about being unhappy more than men do, but we’re all still equally not as happy as possible.

More rambling, just in under the wire… :)

]]> By: Jack http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2290 Jack Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:49:17 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2290 Oh, boy. Now you have me REALLY wanting this book. If I may do a little sucking up here to try to get this book, I will: I am a soon-to-be attorney, already ready to abandon the lawyer life and try my hand at writing (a la John Grisham) because that is my first love. And I need to be a little less stressed out and a little happier, on the whole. I need to be a little less freaked out that everything I write about (including this comment!) could be used against me in litigation, etc. (I can already see some lawyer bellowing it now, years down the road: "Jack isn't entirely happy! Look at this post from ivyleagueinsecurities! ...") To answer your question, I do believe that we can work to be happy. I agree that asking whether you are happy probably means that you are not as happy as you could be, but I think that asking is the first step towards becoming happier. (And if a person doesn't ask, maybe he or she is just more happy-go-lucky than the rest of us.) Sometimes, when I ask myself if I'm happy, or when I do something to 'make myself happier,' it always feels weird. It feels like I'm trying to manufacture happiness and then it feels fake. It's kind of like date night, because the flipside is that you shouldn't have to try; it should just come naturally. But romantic date nights and being happy don't always come naturally, and certainly not as years go by, and so I think that one can--and should--try to seek out ways to increase happiness. Otherwise, I think that a person who is aware of unhappiness (or even just not being as happy as possible) has missed a chance at self-improvement. (Note: John Grisham would have been one-third as verbose as I in writing this comment, but I think my excitement about this book got the best of me!) Oh, boy. Now you have me REALLY wanting this book. If I may do a little sucking up here to try to get this book, I will: I am a soon-to-be attorney, already ready to abandon the lawyer life and try my hand at writing (a la John Grisham) because that is my first love. And I need to be a little less stressed out and a little happier, on the whole. I need to be a little less freaked out that everything I write about (including this comment!) could be used against me in litigation, etc. (I can already see some lawyer bellowing it now, years down the road: “Jack isn’t entirely happy! Look at this post from ivyleagueinsecurities! …”)

To answer your question, I do believe that we can work to be happy. I agree that asking whether you are happy probably means that you are not as happy as you could be, but I think that asking is the first step towards becoming happier. (And if a person doesn’t ask, maybe he or she is just more happy-go-lucky than the rest of us.) Sometimes, when I ask myself if I’m happy, or when I do something to ‘make myself happier,’ it always feels weird. It feels like I’m trying to manufacture happiness and then it feels fake. It’s kind of like date night, because the flipside is that you shouldn’t have to try; it should just come naturally. But romantic date nights and being happy don’t always come naturally, and certainly not as years go by, and so I think that one can–and should–try to seek out ways to increase happiness. Otherwise, I think that a person who is aware of unhappiness (or even just not being as happy as possible) has missed a chance at self-improvement.

(Note: John Grisham would have been one-third as verbose as I in writing this comment, but I think my excitement about this book got the best of me!)

]]> By: Kim http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2289 Kim Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:40:51 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2289 I think most people have a general tendancy towards a certain level of happiness (or unhappiness as the case may be). There are, of course, varying shades up and down the spectrum. And that is where thinking and analyzing happiness in your life comes into play. If you know you are a "cup is half-empty" kind of person, you can work on what helps you see the cup as half full. That requires introspection and study. Conversely, being too happy (is there such a thing?) implies an inability to recognize that sometimes, dammit, the glass really is half empty. In which case, shouldn't one work on recognizing those moments and not being polly-annish about the whole matter. Sorry to ramble in a rather disjointed manner. The cold meds are kicking in and I'm trying to beat the 11PM EST deadline! I think most people have a general tendancy towards a certain level of happiness (or unhappiness as the case may be).

There are, of course, varying shades up and down the spectrum. And that is where thinking and analyzing happiness in your life comes into play. If you know you are a “cup is half-empty” kind of person, you can work on what helps you see the cup as half full. That requires introspection and study. Conversely, being too happy (is there such a thing?) implies an inability to recognize that sometimes, dammit, the glass really is half empty. In which case, shouldn’t one work on recognizing those moments and not being polly-annish about the whole matter.

Sorry to ramble in a rather disjointed manner. The cold meds are kicking in and I’m trying to beat the 11PM EST deadline!

]]> By: Kat http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2288 Kat Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:51:24 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2288 I guess I think that if your happiness is so flimsy that it would cease by you just thinking about it, you weren't truly happy. I'm all about the examined life -- blogging would be sort of a weird choice otherwise! I guess I think that if your happiness is so flimsy that it would cease by you just thinking about it, you weren’t truly happy. I’m all about the examined life — blogging would be sort of a weird choice otherwise!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/2010/01/be-happier/#comment-2286 Sarah Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:49:18 +0000 http://www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/?p=3586#comment-2286 Ooh - did I make the timeline? Just back from Australia and my body doesn't know the time exactly (only that it is bedtime)! I'd love to win a book, but even if I don't win, I'll probably add it to my 'to buy' list at B&N and read it anyway. I'm constantly looking for new books. Ooh – did I make the timeline? Just back from Australia and my body doesn’t know the time exactly (only that it is bedtime)! I’d love to win a book, but even if I don’t win, I’ll probably add it to my ‘to buy’ list at B&N and read it anyway. I’m constantly looking for new books.

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