Redefining Rush Hour
- 01
- 29
- 10
Rush hour. A time of transition and traffic. A smothering storm where flurries of frustration whip about in cold air, making pretty faces ugly and smooth skin wrinkle.
Rush hour. A necessary beast. The blurry bridge between home and work. Between happiness and worry. (As if these things can really be separated.) Rush hour thrusts us together, reminds us of our limits. In the howling wind, we hear whispers: You can only walk so fast. Drive so fast. Think so fast. Be so fast. And so. We are forced to slow our pace. Or stop altogether. To stand still in a spot we didn’t choose. To breathe in air damp with pollution and regret and longing. To suck down the sweet breath of others. We race and rush. We bump bodies. We tangle umbrellas. We mutter dirty words.
We just want to get there. To be there. (But where is there?)
At the end of the day, there is home. And once home, we shed a coat. Park a bag. Find a smile. Kiss a cheek. Hug a child. Sip a drink. We resume who it is we were before the mad rush. And after. Ensconced in the comfort of home, we begin to forget. The human hassle, the gridlock of stop and go, now and later, self and other. We settle in. Unwind. Breathe.
Unless, that is, we don’t.
Unless rush hour isn’t just an hour, but a lifestyle. A way of being.
And some of us don’t deal with rush hour per se. Some of us don’t wear trench coats and carry briefcases. Some of us don’t stomach packed subways in the early morning or early evening. Some of us don’t feel the heat of the masses racing to a place where they can stop racing. Some of us don’t sit in slow-moving cars, cursing the cosmos. Some of us are home already.
But all of us, all of us, feel the pressure, the ruthless race, the shortness of time and space. All of us have moments when we feel trapped, stalled, stifled. All of us have moments where we feel small, stuck, spinning. Going nowhere.
This is not just rush hour.
This is life.
But what if we, right here and right now, redefined rush hour? What if we commandeered it and gave it a positive spin? What then?
Rush Hour 2.0. One hour per day (or week or month) where we stop because we want to. Where we permit ourselves to forget others, even others we love deeply. Where we stop bemoaning the blur of obligations, the beckoning of lists and focus squarely on self. One hour where we do something we love. Or like. Something that takes us away.
Something that gives us a rush. The good kind.
For some – for me – this hour would be spent writing stories. For some, it might be doing yoga. For some, it might be watching television. Or learning a language. Or designing jewelry. Or writing letters to old friends. Or daydreaming. Or playing that guitar that’s been gathering dust. Or baking. Or biking. Or surfing the web. Or reading a good book.
The possibilities are endless.
Rush hour.
Imagine if rush hour was something we came to crave and celebrate, not curse? Imagine that.
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How do you handle rush hour, the frustrations of a fast-paced contemporary existence, the transitions that bookend the day? If you had one hour all to yourself during which the din and chaos of real life would mercifully subside, how would you spend it? Do you find it hard to carve time for yourself as a person when so much time and energy is spent being a parent or a professional? Do you know anyone for whom rush hour is not just an hour, but a way of life?
I can...
Yes, so hard. I was talking to someone just yesterday actually who offered that I seemed to really hate being rushed – which of course made me pause (more like come to a dead stop with accompaning cartoon screeching) because I spend SO much of my life in a massive rush. That is in fact the definitive cadence of my life.
Yuck.
I love your idea, though find it very hard. Sadly this internet of ours doesn’t help. Lately I’ve even tried to shut the computer when I read before bed – should be a small thing, right? Just half an hour of uninterrupted reading? It’s not small for me. But worth it.
Good to think about this, all of it.
Thank you!
I think I’m weird, because I actually don’t mind commuting time. Sitting on a train, or in slow traffic, or walking the same memorized route through city streets. Because as you say it is forced “down time,” something you can’t fast forward through, and it’s a good opportunity to let my mind wander, think things over calmly, or just think of old random memories. Sometimes I read or do a crossword puzzle (on the train that is). The only problem when you let yourself get too calm is missing your stop! Or being reluctant to get to wherever you’re going when you do get there.
Yes! Though I don’t live in a particularly urban place, I feel “rushed” way too often. I love the idea of redefining that word, and searching for a new rush. The problem is just giving ourselves time to experience the “good” rush…and take a break from the hurried.
Having worked in both investment banking and management consulting – two professions where rush hour becomes “rush life” – I don’t even know how I managed to do it. Now, when I don’t see my husband for two nights in a row (usually due to fun social commitments) I feel drained and like we need to reconnect. When my calendar reminds me that the library books are due and I’ve only read four of the seven I checked out, I feel sad. When I lose track of the contents of the fridge and produce goes bad, I get aggravated because one of my favorite things to do is whip up soups or stirfrys with all the perishable things teetering towards perished. I have come a very long way in creating a calmer life filled with small joys but your post reminded me that CONSCIOUSLY blocking that time and doing those activities that soothe my soul will only serve to enhance what they already bring to my life.
Good post!
If one spends her Rush 2.0 hour listening to Rush (the band), does that qualify her for Rush 3.0 status?
As much as I love alternative 80s message rock, I would actually use my Rush 2.0 hour for reading. As much as I love the time I spend in the blogosphere, it has eaten into the time I used to spend with my books. And I miss them.
I love this! But you know what strikes me most about it? How hard it will be. A part of me would feel so selfish to set aside time in this way. But it’s really not so much to ask, is it? Because the fact of the matter is that if we never “feed” ourselves, we will eventually run dry, and have nothing left to give those who do matter deeply to us.
It took me until recently to come to your conclusions about rush/life/enjoy etc. You are light years ahead of me! Good for you!
My “rush hour” is the morning chaos of getting children fed, clothed, groomed, lunches packed, etc. and I HATE it. Every morning I think to myself, “Why are mornings such a freakshow around here?”
If I had an hour, I think I’d take a nice long bath (and maybe even *gasp* shave my legs) and then cuddle in bed with a book. Heaven.
the home that i like…
yes writing, jogging, guitar (or in my case, mandolin), reading, a cup of tea, the list goes on,
let’s not rush it…
Wonderful thought – Rush Hour 2.0.
And sadly, though I do not don a coat and briefcase at present, my life is – and has always been – a rush hour. through the days of corporate life, airports, highways, and meetings, to home office & kid juggling with 90-hour work weeks, to the smaller life I lead now, no less harried, no less hurried.
Rush Hour 2.0. I like it! But I don’t imagine I’ll ever live it.
I am lucky at this point in my life to have a very un-rushed rush hour. I commute 1.5 miles to my office in very, very light traffic. That is not to say that I do not ever feel rushed sometimes in the morning — for instance, if I wake up late. But I think this discussion is much deeper than a discussion of how long or rushed my commute is!!
It has taken many, many years, and several different prescription drugs, but I can say that, for the last few months, I have refused to let rush in. I tell it to back the F off when I see it coming. I remind myself that it will get done, it always does. And it gets done better when I don’t feel rushed. So, I found a wonderful anti-depressant that helps immensely and that, plus a combination of mentally just trying to live a calmer, less aggravating life, has worked wonders. I don’t have road rage anymore when I drive because I feel that I have to be there RIGHT NOW. If I am running late I fall back on my standard practice of calling to let whomever know my status, and then I resume my regular pace. I realize now that rushing never did anything but work me up and make me more irritable and that, in turn, did nothing but make me an unpleasant person. So I resolved to be a more pleasant person and, consequently, tell rush to take a long walk off a short pier. And I love it.
If I had one hour to myself? How I would spend it would depend on the circumstances. Is it a beautiful spring day? Then I would go down and sit by the river and read a book. Or perhaps go ride my steed
Or perhaps sit outside on my patio and read with a glass of wine. If it’s a rainy day? Probably inside with a food mag or book also with a glass of wine. I am, by nature, an alone person, so I tend to get lots of alone time. It doesn’t hurt that I live alone (until this weekend), do not have a significant other, or any children. I imagine with a new roommate that dynamic will change a little, but I still have the whole glorious top floor of my house all to my self.
And yes, I do find that it is often hard to find time for yourself. I usually feel pulled in a million different directions but, as I said above, I resolved to be a more pleasant person and part of that means that I have to say no sometimes. And saying no helps get alone time.
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oooh, i love new definitions and this one’s a doozy. making RUSH hour be for me, about me, including just me. how scrumptious. i would read on the couch in a silent room so that i can hear the characters’ voices more clearly.
maybe with a glass of champagne next to me. or hot chocolate. or a peppermint mocha.
bring on rush hour!
My rush hour is definitely the hour before school… lunches made, breakfasts eaten, kids dressed, me dressed, out the door… it’s nuts. And I hate it every single day.
An hour a day? I’d probably go for a nice long run or go to the gym without the stress of having to get home for anyone.
I love this idea… if only I could figure out how to make it work!
You just wrote a sentence that captures what I feel when I come *home* so eloquently–
“We resume who it is we were before the mad rush. And after. Ensconced in the comfort of home, we begin to forget. The human hassle, the gridlock of stop and go, now and later, self and other. We settle in. Unwind. Breathe.”
I wrote that line down in my journal and it is a sentence I will certainly be quoting, giving you full credit, of course.
What a lovely idea, but, Like Wolf, I don’t envision this in my future.
The reason why I blog is because I can do that while holding babies. It doesn’t really take from reading time because I can’t read anyway! Reading from a screen is much easier than reading from a book while I am nursing or cuddling a screaming baby.
Rush hour? Every minute of my day. Right now, I don’t really have any breaks.
If I could find that hour, I may, sit down and write. While I adore reading, writing has become a major source of passion.
Rush hour – getting myself ready so I can get the kids out of the house. Finding out that, once again, they’ve forgotten to pack up their stuff, get their lunches, or (voila) brush their teeth. I continue to rush till I walk in my exercise class and then I’ve got it, an hour to myself, six days a week. Spoiled, I know.
I have tried this recently. My ability to do so was helped by the fact that I have only one child at home now and two adult children who can take some of the hustle and bustle off my plate.
I had a friend who would come by. We would just sit and talk or play cards or watch a movie in the middle of the day. We would go for runs – at the same time, though in different directions, different distances. This friend slowed me down and I will be forever grateful for that.
It’s interesting that some of your commenters can’t envision this Rush Hour 2.0 ever existing. And kind of sad, right? Or, if not sad, perhaps a bit unfair?
Jen and I speak often of the fact that our brains–and not only our lives–are on fast-forward. That nothing seems to get accomplished even though we are whizzing through it all. That the lists keep growing and the chores keep spilling over onto our plates. Press Pause. Stop time. Find time. Caress and cherish that time.
Strong message. Well-needed. But I think it takes a certain kind of life to be able to succeed at an hour’s chunk of time. Perhaps an hour split up into 5 minute chunks is all I can get on any given day. It’s not enough and I will never pretend that it is, nor will I pretend that it feels the same as one solid hour of calm and peace to myself, but if it’s all I have, I’ve got to find a wee bit of solace in it.
Sigh.
Been missing you lately. Been missing my hour (or more) of blog reading AND commenting.
Cheers!
I am still trying to figure out when rush hour ends. It seems to have started when my son was born and it hasn’t ever ended.
I have been unemployed for a long time but just got a job offer this week!! I guess I will be part of this life again, not to mention school at night…….talk about RUSH!
It would be nice to redefine it.
how I handle it?
breathe…in and out, close your eyes, listen to music, read a book, be kind and considerate to those you share the ride with