Crazy Committed
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While I was away this past weekend, I did something I haven’t been able to do in a while. Two things, actually. I read an entire book in one day. And I read much of it while spinning away on an elliptical machine. Now this multi-tasking? It felt good. For me, there is nothing quite like a physical and intellectual sweatfest. (Note: This is exactly how I studied for the New York Bar Exam; Notes in hand, on my trusty elliptical which has since bitten that proverbial dust. Much like my career in the law.)
The book? Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed. Now, I am embarrassed to say that I only read the first fifteen or so pages of Eat, Pray, Love. But I will certainly go back and read it now because I enjoyed Committed. Now this book is an exploration of marriage and as a married woman and curious soul, I found this to be immensely interesting stuff and if you want to read a more thoughtful post about this book, please click here. But in reading Gilbert’s words, I found myself interested in something a bit more general: the question of commitment, of giving ourselves wholly to something or to someone.
Needless to say, the book got me thinking about my own life (and I think this is something good books tend to do). I thought about the things I consider myself committed to. And there are a few. More than a few.
First, the obvious…
I am committed to Husband. Five-plus years ago, we exchanged vows and traded rings. In so doing, we expressed our fidelity to one another. But this is not why I feel committed to him. It has nothing to do with the state or the law or paperwork that was filled out several years ago. I feel committed to him because I love him deeply and exclusively, because in the years we have been together, I have literally not looked at another man. (Not that way, at least.) I feel committed to him because he makes me laugh daily, because he swaddles our girls in the deepest of daddy affection, because he listens to me and holds me and knows me and loves me. I could go on, but I don’t want to risk further nauseating the cynics among you and this is really not the point of this post (although it is Valentine’s Day week and a little mush is perfectly apropos.)
I am committed to my girls. These little creatures mean absolutely everything to me. Every step I take, every decision I make, every question I ask, every tear I shed, is rooted deeply or more superficially in the soil of motherhood. I am a mother now. This is my most important role to date and it informs everything I do and every aspect of my evolution. I have said this before, but parenthood is the lens through which I now see the world. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Those blue-eyed babes? They are it for me.
I am committed to my family. A couple days ago, I wrote a post about family. About how it is my number one. And it is. I hail from an impossibly large and loving family (four sisters; nine aunts and uncles; over thirty first cousins; you get the picture). I am incredibly close with my mother and my sisters and Husband’s family. (I know, I know, it is borderline criminal to love the In-Laws. But I do. Guilty as charged.) I had a rich and rewarding childhood, stuffed with family fun, and I am doing everything in my power to make sure my girls can say the same thing one day. Oh, and I’ve made no secret of it here, but I hope my own little family grows. When the time is right. (When is the time ever right? Alas, fodder for its own post.) Truth be told, if ever forced to choose between a bevy of kids and a string of best-sellers, I’d choose the former any day. (Sorry, Agent, Editor, Publicist, Readers.)
I am committed to my friends. I don’t know how I’ve been so lucky, but I have collected some absolutely incredible friends along the way. Friends who are interesting and quirky and accomplished and hilarious and talented and supportive. Friends who have literally been there with me from day one. Friends who stood by my side as I married my man and lost my Dad and welcomed my girls. Friends who I encountered more recently as I entered the wild waters of motherhood. Friends who I have met and continue to meet right here in this odd and wonderful ether of the thing we call the blogosphere. My happiness is hinged squarely on these friendships and I am deeply devoted to my friends. All of you.
Next, the more idiosyncratic…
I am committed to writing. I broke up with Mr. BigLaw several years ago and ever since, I have been committed to writing. Our relationship was tenuous at first. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I played hard to get. I suffered from dizzying bouts of writer’s block. But I persisted, clinging tight to my evolving craft. (I hate the word craft. It is mucho pretentious.) And now? My days are packed with words and ideas and chapters and posts. A day does not go by without writing. Each and every day, I say ‘I do’ to writing. These words, these simple words, never get old.
I am committed to dreams. Despite everyone’s (and I mean everyone’s) advice, I started my forthcoming novel LIFE AFTER YES with a dream. Per the experts, this is cliched and a telltale sign of amateur craft. Apparently, I am an amateur. And one who favors the big, bad cliche. I felt strongly about starting my book with a dream because that’s how important I think dreams – actual and metaphorical – are. I think they highlight what matters to us, what we want, who we are. By writing these words here now, by immersing myself in the precarious life of a writer, I am following a dream. And I am committed to chasing this dream and whatever others might arise.
I am committed to questions. I have recently concluded that there are two types of people in the world: Answer People and Question People. The former breed are people who keep long and efficient lists, who like to diagnose people and situations, who discern blacks and whites among life’s grays. Proudly, I fall in the latter camp. I love questions. I love how they echo. Like some of my beloved counterparts, I plan to live a life of questions.
I am committed to conversation. This one? This one is huge. Too huge for a fleeting mention. I have said it before and I will say it again (and again): For me, happiness is conversation. My fondest experiences and sweetest memories are of conversations. In the last couple of weeks, I have had a handful of conversations that have been absolutely amazing. Conversations that I will never ever forget. Conversations that will stick with me forever. I can’t wait to tell you all about them. And I will. Tomorrow.
So, there you have it. My many commitments. And as I write these final words, bringing this post to a not-so-tidy close, I wonder whether it is possible to be truly committed to all of these things? Whether each of us has a limited commitment capacity? Whether we spread ourselves and our attention and affection thin by saying I do to too many people and too many things?
(Told you I was a Question Person.)
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At this point in your life, to whom and to what are you committed? Are you crazy committed like I am? How do you define and recognize commitment? Are you a Question Person or an Answer Person? Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book? Would you like to? If so, please leave a comment here before 11pm EST tonight 2/10/10 for a chance to win a copy of Committed!
A lovely list of those people and things that have your heart … this is a good exercise for all of us, I imagine. And I’m pleased to be a companion in the Life of Questions … not the easy road, I don’t think, at least not for me, but frankly the only one I could walk with authenticity.
xo
Lindsey – So interesting because I started writing this and did not intend for it to be a list or an exercise, but that’s the form it took organically. I do think it is probably good for each and every one of us to stop periodically and take inventory of the people and things we treasure most deeply. As for the Life of Questions? No, not always easy, but in my estimation, easy is never good.
Stay tuned for my future post Easy Is Never Good
I am going to answer your questions with a question — Does this commitment list include those things to which we are committed because we “have” to be or things we are committed to because we “want” to be? Or both? Or those things which we want to be committed to?
I am committed to my job, not because I love it, but because I have student loan payments, a mortgage, and a horse I desperately want to keep. I am committed to eating healthy because I do not want to have to be committed to working out
I would like to be more committed to my riding and competing and my steed, but job obligations get in the way of that. I would like to be committed to traveling more, but I am more committed to keeping money in my bank account.
It is sad that I am now stuck at a point where I cannot think of anything else I am committed to. My comment on this post and my comment on your last one make me think I am living in a place where there are no extremes, not a lot of emotions, and that I am just living. Just going from day to day, not really experiencing things with the feelings, emotions and passions that I could be. That does make me sad. But I am also not really sure I am either ready to change that or can change that without someone else’s help. I am floating along in my cloud of status quo. Not rocking the boat, not fearing things, just being.
So it should not surprise you that I am not sure how I define commitment. I think commitment is the willingness to put someone or something ahead of your own needs or wants. I think commitment is saying, I would really rather do this, but because I am committed to X, I am going to do this instead. I love to volunteer and have been disappointed in myself for not making the time to do it since I started working full (and more than full) time. I think that is commitment. I want to volunteer on Christmas this year, it is putting my own wants (which really aren’t that great) behind someone else’s who may need me more.
I don’t know if I am a question or an answer person. I listen a lot, and have some internal questions that I never express, but I think people who prefer to listen are, by nature, answer people. So I think that’s me.
I read E. Gilbert’s first book and it is one of my favorites. I read it over, and over, and over again. It makes me cry and it makes me wish I was that brave.
Niki – Thank you so much for this very thoughtful comment. You raise so many additional questions here that (1) I might have to pen a follow up post; and (2) I think you are very much a Question Person or at least a Hybrid.
A very interesting issue is whether we are committed to people and things because of desire or because of something else – expectation, convention, guilt. Are we committed to our spouses and our kids and our professions because we must be? Do we *say* we are committed because we know we are expected to be and it is only acceptable that we acknowledge these commitments explicitly and out loud. Is my entire post a sign of this pressure, evidence of conflict within about being over- or inauthentically committed? I don’t know.
You write: “I am floating along in my cloud of status quo.” I don’t know about that. The fact that you are here, writing words, asking questions of yourself and me and others, means (to me) that you are in fact examining – and more closely than most – the threads of your existence. Do not sell yourself short. Although the phenomenon of floating is one that I would wager we have all felt and the notion of the status quo, and the safety and security it purports to offer, is indeed a topic of its own inquiry.
As always, your words add much to the discussion here. Thank you.
I just got stuck on the reading a book in a day fantasy and I’m a little jealous. I find with all the things I commit to, plus recently commiting to a kindle, I have been a bit uncommitted ro my reading. I had to join a book club and “commit” to blogging about food-related book weekly and still feel unfocused reading bits of books here and there. Thanks for inspiring me to read and commit more.
Lauren – Especially now that I am writing, I have been feeling a fair bit of guilt about how little I read. There is just so little time. Most of us are stretched and harried and, yes, overcommitted. I have realized that if I take the time to go to the gym, I will read the whole time. I know this multi-tasking detracts from the rigor of my workout, but it’s better than nothing. And each time I do this, I leave the gym sweaty and happy and full of new ideas. Must do it far more often!
For some reason, I have not been uber excited to crack open Committed. It has been on my nightstand for five days which really is an eternity in my reading life. I think it is because I have a love hate relationship with Eat Pray Love. And because Gilbert is such a phenom that as soon as I am done reading it I know I will need to have an OPINION about it. But, your post has inspired me to dive in.
Just don’t ask me what I think about it.
Rebecca – I promise not to ask you what you think about Committed once you read it! I am with you though that I hate the societal pressure to fashion an opinion on books and movies, etc that make such a splash. What’s interesting is that in her book, Gilbert actually addresses the impossibility of publishing something after EPL, how there is really no way to win. Personally, I appreciated her candor on the topic and I thought the book was interesting and well-conceived. An aside – and perhaps I should not admit this – but now that I have a book that is about to come out, I find myself to be a more compassionate reader. If the writing is good and there is a story with heart, I tend to like it. Maybe it is because I now know how much goes into the conception and creation of a book? I don’t know…
how did you not finish “eat, pray, love”??????
HOW???????
anyway, at this moment, i am committed to committing myself due to this snow storm.
so yup, the title of this post pretty much sums it up for me. well done, aidan.
I WANT TO WIN THE BOOK!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Nic! I love what you’re committed to at this moment. LOL.
Nic – Love the enthusiasm. The caps and repeat question marks? A nice touch indeed. Hope you and your boys are not going too stir crazy. As for not finishing EPL, it really wasn’t a principled decision. I probably started reading it and then Toddler spit up or something. You know – just one of those (countless) instances when life just got in the way!
Wow, I seriously adore this post. Can I steal it and post it on my blog? Because you seriously touched so many points that are important to me.
I am a very committed person myself. Committed and dedicated. I won’t give up on you or anything to which I have committed myself.
I especially loved your commitment to conversation. I take a night of good conversation over a night out dancing any day.
Thank you for sharing this.
Oh, and of course, I would love to read this book
Thanks, San! Feel free to link to this post or quote it! Yes, I feel very committed to conversation which seems kind of weird. But I realized that I am not as happy on days where I don’t have conversations, actual conversations about ideas and things other than schedules and logistics, etc. In hindsight, I am realizing that this is a main reason why I started this blog in the first place, namely to ensure that I have at least one substantial conversation about something that interests me per day. I am planning a post about this, so stay tuned.
Oh, and in some ways conversation *is* dancing… Dancing with ideas and words and gestures and people… Forgive me. I am obsessed with metaphors!
I am crazy committed to my children above everything else and am not sure that is necessarily the way it should be or the way I want it to be. On your list Husband is 1. Surely not because he comes before kids, but because he came before kids chronologically. Because without him you wouldn’t have those beloved kids. This makes me question my commitment to my husband. Sure, I am committed to him. I don’t see myself ever not being with him. I love him. He is the person I chose to be my partner in life. But, sadly, the crazy, passionate, commitment I feel towards my daughters has taken complete precedence these days. I believe, in part, this often goes with the territory of raising small children.
He isn’t the only thing dear to me that has taken the backseat during this first year of baby #2’s life. My body aches with jealousy after having read about your rendezvous with the elliptical. Up until the last couple of years, I was crazy committed to exercise. I love everything about it- the sweat, my heart beating fast and hard, the feeling that my body is strong and capable, being completely and totally in the present, without distration. These are things I miss and look forward to rekindling.
As for the book – I want it! I adored Eat, Pray, Love. I took my time with it. Reread parts. coddled and carressed it, hoping to make it last longer. daydreamed. I am looking forward to Committment.
Celeste – I think you hit on something very important and very universal here, namely the evolution of our romantic relationships once children arrive. This issue warrants its own discussion (or many, frankly), but without a doubt kids change things. For one, they eliminate the exclusivity of our focus and the spontaneity of our relationships. Sometimes I think about the fact that Husband and I can never again just pop out for a dinner date on a random night or catch a Saturday afternoon movie without planning ahead. It makes me a bit sad, but that sadness fades and fast when I think of my little girls and the limitless joy they bring me – and us. I do think it is so so important to nurture our relationships though even though we are stretched emotionally and logistically. I don’t know how to do this, but I think intellectually our romantic relationships should remain a focus.
As for exercise, I am with you. It used to be such a priority. Oddly, I am in much better shape than I was pre-kids (likely because I am not obsessing over diet and exercise), but I miss the vigorous sweating and the mental release it offered. I plan to prioritize exercise and health again and will write about it here.
I am committed foremost to family right now, and honestly I can’t even pick a second. That said, family envelops my baby and my husband and my extended family so it is a big initial grouping. I think free time/personal time might be my second commitment! (That also envelops a lot – gym, time with friends whether in person or by phone, sleep, your blog, etc!) Guess I am not too good at itemization.
The Answer People/Question People is fascinating to me. I never thought about the distinction before and it makes me smile because you definitely are a Question Person and based on your description I definitely am an Answer Person! I guess opposites attract on this personal facet sometimes
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Eat, Pray, Love was fantastic, definitely give it another try! And I too would love to read Committed, put me in the running!
Jess – I do think you are good at itemization because you have nailed two of the most important areas of focus (in my opinion): Family and Self. You are investing your energy in your family and when time permits, in your personal self and happiness. Yes, I do think you are more of an Answer Person than I am, but I am beginning to think that there is a continuum, that no one is completely one or another. The fact that we fall on opposite ends of this imagined spectrum could certainly be why we remain such close friends though
Actually, I have been secretly pining to read Gilbert’s follow-up, but write to share what I’m committed to regardless of winning a copy!
I’m committed to:
*first and foremost, my children – regardless of anything or anyone else
*my personal journey through life – even though much of it has been off the beaten path and raises scrutiny much of the time in the eyes of others
*my teaching career – not something I really thought I would ever completely commit to doing…I’ve stuck with it for 15 yrs. and have fell into a groove with enjoying what I do, most of the time at least:)
*the other members of my family – probably should reverse this one with career
*the charismatic members of society who have accepted me into their lives – let’s call them FRIENDS – who can live without them?!:)
Thanks for the opportunity to share these!
and, second half of what we were to post, I waver between being a questioning individual and an answering one…having a teenage daughter has made me be a practitioner of both on such a deeper plane than I could have ever imagined!
Christine – Thank you for sharing with us your various commitments. There is something rewarding about spelling them out, no? I think so. And thank you for highlighting a nuance of this discussion of which I was not previously aware, namely that children change us, they shift our nature. I think that I have begun asking more questions since I have become a parent. I have certainly become more creative. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because children allow us to see the world and its inchoate complexities with fresh eyes?
Yes, Aidan, fresh eyes! Daily with fresh eyes! In addition to the 16 yr. old daughter, I have an almost 13 yr. old son. Each grant me the opportunity to see the world with fresh eyes separate from each other. Questions grow deeper but, sometimes, so does the importance of the answers they are seeking. Each year, each segment of their childhoods has brought something new, something dear, something challenging – every minute is so worthwhile!
I loved Committed. I just finished it last week and thought it was great. And I’m not married or engaged. It was fascinating to read about Gilbert’s continuing story along with the sociological and cultural history of marriage. I’d definitely recommend it.
Caitlin – Thank you for chiming in about Committed. It’s interesting because as I was reading it, it occurred to me that it was fascinating to me because I am married, but I also thought that it was an objectively thoughtful treatment of a culturally heralded and often opaque institution. I thank you for your recommendation here as I know that plenty of my readers are not engaged or married!
There is so much to reflect on here, Aidan, but these words stopped me in my tracks: “parenthood is the lens through which I now see the world.”
Yes. That’s just it, isn’t it? As much as I love Husband – and I deeply, unquestionably do – and feel absolutely committed to him, it was at the moment we became parents together that my worldview shifted in a wonderful, powerful, irreversible way. So – whatever your definition of commitment (and I like that question Niki asks) – the thing I am most committed to, now and forever, is parenthood.
Thanks, as always, for asking the big questions and sharing with us your thoughtful, eloquent, insecure answers.
Kristen – Parenthood as lens? You know I am a lover of metaphors, but this is one I cannot let go of. I have thought about it a lot in connection with the question of whether or not I am a Mommy Blogger. And I have concluded (and these conclusions are ever works in progress) that I write about things that interest me, things that have a universal pulse, and even if they are not about parenthood or family, these questions are refracted through my eyes, through the lens of parenthood. Ultimately, my words here are tinged with the emotions and existential hue of my experience as a mother. So, like you, I am a mommy who blogs. A thinker who happens to have babies.
As for the question of competing and complementing commitments to partners and kids? That is a biggie. Let’s both write more on that question, okay?
Thanks for the shout-out, Aidan. I just started “Committed” last night, and am really enjoying it (no need, then, to enter me in the contest). As a fellow writer, I, too, feel Committed to my writing. Probably more than I’ve ever been before. Just like the only way out is through, the only way towards being a professional is to be an amateur first. No way around it!
Elizabeth – You are more than welcome for the virtual shout out. Life in Pencil is one of my favorite blogs and I have no doubt my readers will savor your and Anne’s thoughtful words. I am so happy (and not at all surprised) to hear about your commitment to your writing. It shows and glows in your writing on your blog. As for being amateurs? I think it’s a wonderful label. Amateur. Rookie. Underdog. All of the above. And proud of it.
You know that I am a big WONDERER. Which I guess is a more superficial term for Question Asker because I never really ask hard questions.. I just wonder in a meandering sort of way. But I always have questions in my head. I always want to start a conversation. Things are never just Quiet.
You are committed to some wonderful, amazing things Aidan. And your commitments will lead you on a fruitful, magical, happy, memorable road.
Becca – You say wonder. I say question. I read your wonderful blog every day and you do ask the big questions. In your own compelling way. We have kindred heads, it seems, wherein nothing is ever quiet, where a gorgeous and maddening chaos reigns, where drama plays out in abundance. We are both lucky indeed
I am committed to change. To evolving, growing, learning, understanding and bending the corners of my mind wide open. When love comes here, it forges its own river canyon; commitment follows, as night the day.
Titanium – Poetic. We should all be committed to change, to evolution, to becoming. I think you are right that commitment is a result of opening ourselves up, that it is not a simple decision. Gorgeous stuff here. And true.
Commitment and I have walked a very long road together. We have been up and down and around the bend. Commitment and I have fought endless wars about obligations and responsibilities.
We have been locked in and endless struggle about a variety of things. So if you ask if I am committed I wholeheartedly say yes. But the list of what those things are has changed and evolved over the years.
My perspective on life has changed and so commitment has followed with a sort of tide like ebb and flow.
Jack – I like how you personify Commitment. It makes me wonder whether we must commit to Commitment itself? I also think the idea that our commitments mirror an evolving perspective on life is very compelling. Moreover, I am intrigued by the notion that we can be abstractly committed people, but that the objects of our commitment can change.
I can’t imagine that some of them wouldn’t change as our lives change. Twenty years ago I was committed to getting a college degree. I don’t have that same commitment to obtaining a degree any more, but I still am committed to learning more.
Twenty four years ago I was a high school student who was in love with his high school girlfriend. I was committed to her until we weren’t. College took care of that for both of us, but that is a different story.
If I have learned anything about life it is that relatively few things are classified as black and white.
I am crazy committed to Hubby (as evidenced in my uber-corny love letter post to him as part of Momalom’s Love Letter Challenge). Of course, I am committed to my boys, my family, my near-and-dears. But I am also crazy committed to myself right now. I’ve loaned out my body to making babies for the last few years, and it was time to get Me back…physically and emotionally. I loved NIKI’s question about mandatory commitments. I am committed to my job, but not by choice. I would much rather be committed to travel and leisure. And as far as the book? Funny…I read “Eat, Love, and Pray” and LOVED it, so wanted to read “Committed.” I picked it up at the bookstore last week and ended up putting it back in order to buy something else. Now it will be my next read, whether I win or not!
Liz – I am pretty sure you are the first to say that you are committed to yourself. And that is at once fascinating and alarming. Are we all so committed externally that we lose focus on the internal? Could be. Could also be that this is an issue of semantics. Perhaps in committing to our families and spouses and careers, we are actually committing to ourselves insofar as these things are so often extensions of us and profound aspects of our well-being?
Thank you for reminding me of what is I think a near-universal occurrence: that we lend our body to the production of life and love and that at some point we need to take ourselves back.
I am currently committed to sobriety and that is bringing on a whole new level of commitment to my husband and my boys. I’m also, more than ever, committed to seeing how faith is revealed, how it’s a progress. How in the asking, one can really see God, His expressions of love in this very thing you’re asking about-commitment.
I didn’t make it through Eat, Pray, Love either. Not sure why. Just saying.
Lastly, I’m working on being more committed to myself these days, my health and my joy. Long way to go…that’s why one needs to be committed.
And as a sidenote, I love this line in a song “better than the day we made our vows, was the day we got to keep them.” That’s every day, I think.
Heather – your newest commitment is one that I find very inspiring. And I think you are right to point out that your commitment to sobriety is tantamount to a renewed commitment to the ones you love – and to yourself. I have been thinking a lot about you and your renewed vows to your health and happiness. A post is indeed in the works, but sometimes it is hard to write about these things because they are so important.
I adore those lyrics. So true.
Many of us who are overcommitted feel like we need to be institutionally committed! However, since that enforced rest (tra la) is not on the agenda, I cannot imagine a life without a breadth of commitments. Some weigh heavily; others are the stuff of our most aligned selves.
As for questions and answers, I am proud to say that I seem to have raised two seekers, kids who ask questions, which I am often unable to answer but happy to observe their perpetual manufacture.
My own questions? Constant. Though with a bit of age come some answers for one’s own life, and the outgrowth of even more questions. Seems logical, yes?
BigLittleWolf – I love the play on the word committed! I think it is wonderful that you have raised two seekers. I hope to say the same for myself one day. (We seem to be off to a good start. Those little chicks question absolutely everything I do. It’s kind of exhausting.) I find it heartening and refreshing to hear that in living a life of questions, some answers have littered your path. It is too much if the uncertainty is absolutely all-encompassing and it is encouraging to think some conclusions – however tenuous – are possible.
I’m also committed to husband, kid, family, etc. Other (less universal) things I’m committed to? Travel, reading, exercise, cooking, hugging. Those are some of my biggest passions.
As for Q&A… can I be both? I love to ask the questions so that I can try to answer them.
Gale – I do think it is possible to be both a Question Person and an Answer Person. I am realizing in having this conversation that there exists a continuum along which each of us falls. Some of us are more prone to searching, others to finding. But I think no one is absolutely one or the other. I think we probably evolve over time and that this, like most big questions, is cast in glorious grays.
I want to applaud Niki for her candid question.
It sounds to me, and this is a wonderful thing, like for you right now, pretty much everything (or everything you choose to reveal) is going right. Life is challenging, with a new book and children, and lots of family around but full of blessings.
I could be wrong, but that’s the feeling (the emotion) I get from reading this post.
In my work as a minister and in my life as a journalist I have found that not everyone comes from that place of physical, “spiritual” and emotional abundance — and sadly, it takes its toll.
Sometimes commitments are indeed obligations.
We have a limited stock of emotional energy. And when we are tested…when a husband loses a job, or a child is seriously ill, or we get a rejection that rocks our world — then sometimes we just have to go on faith, and let the emotion ride the caboose.
Thank you for sharing your joy with us — and also the questions! You never know who you might inspire.
Elizabeth – Thank you very much for this thoughtful comment. To be honest, you are making me realize something about my own post that I didn’t think of while writing it: How fortunate I am. Yes, I know that I wrote about wonderful things, that my commitments are indeed blessings, but I whipped this off rather matter-of-factly and I appreciate you pointing out that it is an exquisite privilege to count these commitments as my own. I also want you and my other readers to know that while I do share a lot on this blog, I do not share everything. There are things I keep to myself to protect my privacy and that of my family. Suffice it to say that there are issues and cracks and struggles in my world that for one reason or another I cannot share here. I do not say this to be cryptic, but just to acknowledge that no one’s life is perfect. Including mine. That said, yes, I do have a number of very wonderful people and things in my life and I feel very blessed. (I do not usually use that word but it seems like the right one here.)
This is all a long-winded way of saying thank you for keeping this discussion real, for pointing out the palpable joy I often take for granted, for injecting even more authenticity into this little place.
Thank you for this gracious response. It occured to me after I wrote my comment that maybe I’m talking to myself as much as I am to you.
I am aware I need to be reminded sometimes of my own blessings. Even on days like this, when my daughter and I get stuck in the house, and I can’t get my car out of the driveway. The house, the car, even the glinting snow, and most of the time, my teenage daughter are certainly blessings.
I also find it interesting that we have our particular “callings” in the blogosphere — and how grateful I am to encounter women so very different than me. There is such a richness and texture to our voices. So, as I said, when you share your experiences, you open a door, let a new breeze in, remind me of something I half-forgot, err, particularly today. I shall face that darned snow with a better attitude.
Can you teach me to read on an elliptical? Actually, I keep trying to *write* while on mine, but I think the only solution to that may be a dictaphone.
PS I don’t think ‘craft’ is a pretetious word. I knit, I sew, I make cards, I bake… all crafts. Writing? Just another one
Rachel – Many years ago – while in college, I think – I trained myself to be able to read on the elliptical. It is a skill of which I am very proud! Let me know if you try the dictaphone though; I am very curious about that creative route.
I don’t necessarily think craft is a pretentious word. It’s just that I have heard several very pretentious writers use the word when talking about their “craft” and it kind of gives me the willies
I support you 110% on all of your commitments. But let me say, I LOVE that you are committed to writing, dreams, questions and conversation because that’s why *I* am committed to this blog!
Oh, Jane – Will you marry me?
In all seriousness, that’s great to hear because that is why I am nurturing this blog – to force myself on a daily (or quasi-daily) basis to write, to dream, to question, and to have sustaining conversations with you and so many others!
I almost missed it!!! comment comment comment!
Cop out: I’m going to say “ditto” to what you said, but add: I am committed to not apologizing for who I am anymore.
Stay tuned – this weekend my parents and in-laws are both going to be in town.
Natalie – You are right on time
Ditto is a fair word. I like it. And when it comes to who we are, no apologies allowed. I am staying tuned…
Am reading Committed right now (giggling and weeping already…that’s what I do) so just wanted to wade into the fray of delightful thread as a testament to my commitment to engaging in good and juicy conversations that I enjoy here in the blogosphere (do we still call it that…am oh so out of the loop). Though here, the logic falters as there’s precious little to add that’s not been eloquently stated (maybe I should also commit to showing up at parties earlier?)
I would add that I too, didn’t finish EPL. I left my copy by accident in the airplane coming back from a yoga/surfing retreat with my husband in 2007. We were doing some damage control for our marriage. Our flight ended at the moment that her spirit and her ex’s made a silent peace with one another (am paraphrasing). Perhaps it was no accident that that was the moment that I stopped reading…feeling calm and at peace as I did for them.
I guess I am committed to making peace with some past pain. What do ya know? Had something to add after all. Thank you for being a Question Person, Aidan.
TG
Tanya – Better late than never. Much better. So interesting and symbolic indeed that you didn’t finish EPL. I am happy to hear that you are enjoying Committed. I look forward to hearing what you have to say about it. And making peace with past pain? That is a good goal and a wonderful commitment. For you. For all of us.
I may have missed the deadline, but I am still going to comment.
Aidan, I have said this many times: you inspire me.
I say I am committed to many things but I rarely put the time I need to in them. This brings about the bigger question of priorities. I know mine are screwed up sometimes, but I am gradually adjusting them to be in the right order.
Amber – Who cares about the deadline?
I think you raise an interesting point, namely that we can theoretically commit to things and not have the energy to throw ourselves into them. For me, this raises the question of actual versus intellectual commitments, of actions versus words. As for priorities? These are things we should always think about and reevaluate and question. Is there ever a right order?
Like Amber, I missed the deadline but love the writing so have to comment. I am committed – to way too many things. I have tried, in recent years, to re-commit to just those that I feel most important – my kids, family, certain friends who are like family.
I like questions but also like answers. I want to search for the answer to the question.
I love EPL so am going to buy Committed soon.
Nicki – Yes, it is all about commitment and re-commitment to things that matter and people we love. I think we are all constantly recommitting, reminding ourselves of what matters to us, and who we are. I think it makes perfect sense to have a taste for both questions and answers. After all, we ask in some effort to answer, right?