Comments on: I Am Scared

By: Student

Student — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 12:56:55 +0000

There is this fear I have,and this is a fear of being forgotten. I keep asking myself, will people remember me after school? I wouldn’t ask myself this if I my friends made plans with me, and that we were all on the same level. For they seem to be taking higher level classes then me, and regardless how hard I work, I am unable to have these classes. Also, they never make effort to look for me. I have a fear of being left back, and being forgotten. So I have to ask, is this my fault or theirs?

By: Patti

Patti — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:24:30 +0000

Hi Aidan,

This post struck a chord with me. These days I’m struck by how tenuous our hold on life really is. I’ll be visiting here often.

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:28:27 +0000

Michelle – Thank you for sharing your personal fears – which, I imagine, are quite universal at heart. There is something so liberating, so intoxicating even, about enumerating the things of which we are afraid, of merely acknowledging that fear exists and ripples through even our best days. And, yes, there is something immensely empowering about this collective admission of fear, this simultaneous nod to our humanity.

By: Michelle | When I Grow Up Coach

Michelle | When I Grow Up Coach — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:18:45 +0000

I am scared of leaving my Corporate America job. I am scared that, once I leave, I’ll be forced to go back there. I am scared that I can’t really make ends meet doing what I love. I am scared of heights when I’m outside. I’m scared of upside down roller coasters. I’m scared of losing my husband. I’m scared of losing my Mom. I’m scared of being a Mom. I’m scared of not living up to my potential. I’m scared of everyone I love deciding that they don’t love me. I’m scared of not being able to make ends meet. I’m scared that there won’t be enough.

Thanks for allowing me to feel scared, Aidan. It makes me feel less, um, scared.

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:30:40 +0000

Jen – Yes, fear of self. That is the worst fear. And, oddly, the best. Because once we confront this fear, once we face it down, we learn so much about who we are. I think it is so normal and even healthy to fear things, so many things, to recognize what they are, to consider them, to turn them over in our existential palms and make them our own. And then, maybe, just maybe, we move past these fears or make them work to our advantage. (I have zero clue what I am talking about!)

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:28:27 +0000

Maureen – It was a frightening experience and I am so glad I recorded it because once the turbulence subsided it all seemed like a figment of my imagination. I think this is what happens – we have these visceral encounters with fear and other things – and then, because we are resilient creatures, we bounce back and forget. I think there is a majesty in the remembering and the lessons it teaches us. Yes, including how we speak to our kids. Thanks for your comment!

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:26:21 +0000

Linda – I can only imagine the fear you are experiencing about losing your mother. I say this because I think fear is one of those things that is universal, but not fungible. That’s to say your experience of fear is unique, yours, discrete. I do think acknowledging fear – whether it is our own or that of our kids – is a huge step in the right direction. (What is the right direction? I don’t have a clue.)

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:24:14 +0000

Thank you for this. Fear as trusted guard dog? Brilliant. I do think consciousness of our breeds of fear, and the ebbs and flows of these fears is a means of protecting ourselves and knowing ourselves. I think, on some level, that is why I felt compelled to transcribe my fear in the air as I felt it and why I felt the urge to write about it. I knew, if implicitly, that others were privy to these awakening moments of panic.

By: jen

jen — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:35:03 +0000

I have been scared of everything, even of myself, my entire life, sort of explains why I made so many mistakes and just started to do things in my mid 30′s!!

I have always been escaping my fears, instead of facing them. Fear has been my driver for too long.

I am learning that fear is OK, it is how we FACE it, that determines what will happen. And we must face it, or stay stuck, behind, never learning a thing, never experiencing anything, missing out on opportunities. Staying safe and comfie just doesn’t cut it.

I am afraid of being alone, of never having kids, or a family I can call mine. I don’t wanna be an old lady with 10 cats and no money in the bank. I refuse to do that to myself!!

I realized recently, the things we fear, are nothing once we face them. You realize, wow, I want to do that again!!

By: Maureen@IslandRoar

Maureen@IslandRoar — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:36:46 +0000

I love this post. It sounds like a truly frightening experience. You’re so right in not pushing away your children’s fears, like that would work anyway. I remember when my kids were so small, reading not to tell them “you’re okay,” when they fell or got hurt, but to acknowledge their feelings. The complete opposite of how my parents operated, how many parents still operate. I still cringe to hear parents tell a screaming little kid “Oh, you’re fine.” Any way we can support therir feelings is going to help them recognize and accept them, I think. And hope…