Letting Go
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I sit here. Alone. At my little table and my little Starbucks. Outside the vast windows, fat flakes of snow tumble down. Bundled souls amble by, wrestling mangled umbrellas, fighting impossible gales of winter wind.
And I am inside. And warm. But exhausted. Exquisitely exhausted. My coffee is gone. It’s time for another. But I will wait for my refill. I want to get this down first. And I apologize in advance for this post. I am not sure it will be that terrific. I have a hunch it will whip around in different directions like the snow that swirls outside. But that’s okay.
It is a deadline day. This morning, final edits for LIFE AFTER YES were due to my editor. And I have spent the last twenty-four hours poring through my own story, furrowing my brow, scrutinizing the splash of words. I didn’t sleep much last night. No. I couldn’t really sleep because I knew this was my last chance to coddle my creation, to caress its pages. This was my last chance to make sure it was perfect.
And you know what? It isn’t. Because there is no such thing.
Last night, I stood in the kitchen with Husband. Nervously, I clutched my book in my hand. And because he knows me and he loves me, he said what I needed to hear.
He said, “It’s okay if there are mistakes. You are allowed to have mistakes.”
And I fought him on this. I told him that he was wrong, that this is it. That it’s time for perfection. But then I thought about it a bit more and realized that maybe he was right. (He usually is.) Have you ever read a book and found a typo? Because I have. Many times. Even in books I love.
And then I realized something else. Maybe Husband wasn’t just talking about my book. Maybe he was talking about something bigger. Maybe he was talking about life. Because life is a story, isn’t it? And we can polish it and polish it, but there will always be pages that are better and worse. There will always be mistakes. And this is okay, isn’t it?
This is real.
But even after having this mini-epiphany about the futility of obsessing over the manuscript of existence, I worked furiously to make sure my story was just right. I dogeared pages. Made little notes in the margins. I reworked some sentences. I chose some new words.
But you know what? It is not just right. Because there is no such thing.
Minutes ago, I hit send. I let go. Of my story. Of a creature I have protected for years now.
And as I sit here watching snow dance, shaking from caffeine and pride and awareness, I realize something. Something simple and profound. Something hardly revolutionary. That something?
I am not good at letting go.
And I need to work on this. Because isn’t life about letting go of things? Of moments and hours and days and years? Of people we love? Of places that are no longer home? Isn’t life about progress, about stumbling along sidewalks slick with existential snow? We might slip, but we must walk anyway. We might fall, but then we will stand and keep going.
Lao Tzu said, “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
And so. Today, I did it. I let go of something big. And I am scared and relieved and happy and sad. I am all of these things. Like those flakes, I am all over the place. Worried about the typos on my pages, the mistakes in my world, the cracks in my concrete. Inching toward acceptance of all these things.
And now. Instead of spending another thirty minutes combing through these words, these ones right here that you are reading, to make sure that they are perfectly punctuated and shrouded with the right level of metaphorical gloss, I will publish them.
I will let go.
_____________________________________
Are you a perfectionist like I am when it comes to your life or your writing? Are you good at letting go of things? Of people or the past? Do you forgive yourself when you notice mistakes in the manuscript of life? If we all acknowledge that there is no such thing as perfection then why do we strive for it so fervently? Is it snowing where you are?
I am TERRIBLE at letting go. I’m terrible at it because it means losing control, which is hard for my self who really likes to control everything. I’m also terrible at it because in many cases to let go of something is to let it slip into the past, and that is something I struggle mightily with.
The next time I face a letting go moment (which, let’s face it, will be in the next hour) I will remember your words about how there is no such thing as perfect. Or, really, as forever.
Thank you.
This is so much about control, isn’t it? Adulthood is so stuffed with reminders of limits – limits on our control, on our time, on our abilities to fix our own problems. I think my aversion to letting go is also bound up with my fear of letting time pass, of letting moments and experiences and stages fade into the past. And, really, these letting go moments pepper our days. They are everywhere. So maybe it is pressing for us all to learn how to surrender a bit more?
Love is holding on and letting go- in equal parts, imperfectly. -The Tao of Ti
Yeah, so, I guess I’m learning, right?
I adore that quote too. And the idea it represents, but it is tricky because it also demands from us a precise balance – between holding on and letting go – and is this balance attainable or another torturing enigma.
Forgive me because I am knee-deep in all things LIFE AFTER YES, but here is one relative bit from it:
“And as the clock strikes midnight, ushering in that new and dreaded day, I clutch tightly to this boy, this man, my future. And something strikes me: Maybe you can hold on and let go at the very same time.”
Yay, Aidan! After years, letting go. I can’t imagine it would be easy for anyone. And you know that every end, every deadline, marks a new beginning, a new chapter (pun intended).
I am a perfectionist in just about every facet of my life. Isn’t it EXHAUSTING?! But we must forgive ourselves our mistakes or else we would be miserable. Plus, we are smart and, deep down, know what is best for us.
No snow here, thank goodness. We are out of dodge for the time being.
Yes, it is exhausting. I wrote this post, stumbled home in the snow, kissed my girls hello and fell into bed for a two-plus hour nap and slept like I was drugged. SO exhausting. I agree that forgiveness is key and I am not so sure why it is so hard to come by. I wonder if forgiveness is in fact a life skill that we can learn? I believe that, like you say, deep down we know what is right and we let go at the moment when we feel we can, but it is still so hard.
The snow here is insane. And absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you for being so real about your emotions and this part of the writing process. You are wonderful and wonderfully you. I hope you can find a moment today where everything feels “right” and peaceful.
Thank you, Kristina! Things feel a lot more right and peaceful now that I just woke up from a two hour nap. I think this letting go business was both existentially and physically exhausting and I need to rest! Looking forward to a nice evening with the fam. And then more sleep! Thanks for leaving a comment. Hope you leave more going forward!
All I can say is congratulations:) I both love and hate letting go. hate doing it, but love the feeling when it’s no longer in my control.
I think I also have a love/hate relationship with letting go. There is an undeniable sweetness in getting to the point where it is no longer mine to angst over. Surrender of control is difficult at first but then there comes an aftermath of exhausted peace
i am a (recovering) perfectionist. it’s exhausting and defeating because perfection is an unattainable goal. but that’s hard to accept sometimes. i am trying to let go though. we’ll see how it goes. i’m am more and more excited for you as the book progresses to publication. congrats aidan!
Thanks, Alisha. I can’t wait for you to read LIFE AFTER YES. I sometimes wonder whether perfectionism is something we can truly recover from? Is it once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist? I hope not. But part of me believes that perfectionism is part of personality and that certainly as we get older and more set in our ways, it becomes that much more difficult to alter the essence of who we are and how we interact with the world.
Letting go is magical, freeing, intoxicating, magnificent – and this coming from a self-professed control freak. There is great beauty in setting things, people, and yourself, free, and yet we humans resist it with all our power. Congrats to you, my dear friend, for letting your precious baby go. It will now burst forward onto its own stage and have adventures of its own. Although it’s form is words on a page, it is alive and can’t be tamed. You raised your baby as best you could. It was lucky beyond belief to have you there, but now it’s time to set it free.
What a beautiful and heartening comment. Thank you. I do think there is something intoxicating about letting go. But I worry about the hangover, frankly. I worry about waking up tomorrow and realizing that those pages, those sweet pages, are no longer mine to wrestle with. That the story is over. I am encouraged by the idea that now my story will have a life of its own – on bookshelves, in homes, in the hands of good and curious people, in the minds and memories of friends and family and strangers. This is all very exciting. And very new.
Aidan – I deal with authors day in and day out. You would not be human if you did not have problems with letting go.
I have these problems with my writing so I have come to not proofread my blog. Unlike another perfectionist good friend of mine, I type it all in the text editor and do not do much more than spell check. If, at a later time, I find an error – whether typing, grammar, spelling, whatever – I will go in and fix it. I realize you cannot do that with the novel but trust it will be perfect for all us waiting to read it.
It makes sense that it is common, and very human, to have issues with surrender and letting go. I think it is great that you do not obsess over your blog posts. I think I need to learn to do this. After all, this is the place to relax a little bit, to launch conversations, to ask questions. This is my haven, my place to be me and I think all of you guys would be more than forgiving if there were a few flaws here and there. Alas, a perfectionista here. And perhaps an incurable one…
I can relate with your feelings. I read my posts over and over. I am a stickler when it comes to punctuation and proper use of grammar. Let alone spelling. I will email blog owners if I see something on one of their pages that is incorrect. I just did this yesterday. People always thank me for doing it.
Good luck with your novel. I am impressed. I certainly understand why you are anal, especially with that. I find typos in books I read and say to myself, “that person wasn’t careful enough”. I really think it reflects on the author or the editor. Maybe I should learn more about letting go…
Bob, thank you for your comment and for being a fellow member of the perfection brigade. I think the question of perfectionism within the purview of the blogging medium is actually quite interesting because here, in this virtual world, we are expected to publish things so frequently. I think it is expected that editing will not be as rigorous as in the print world, but maybe that is changing? I don’t know. I do wish that I could relax my standards a bit – at least on this site because that would free up a good amount of time that I could use visiting other blogs, writing my next book, and tickling tiny toes.
Speaking of visiting other blogs, I am off to visit yours!
Hmmmm, well, as I often am, I appear to be an outlier on this one as well. Although I will say that I am not sure if it is that I don’t have a problem letting go, so much as it is that I don’t notice when I have to. In some instances, at work specifically, I probably let things go too early. I make mistakes and, it’s really not acceptable. But the letting go to early at work comes from me being somewhat ambivalent about my job. When I was nervous and new, I had a very, very hard time releasing documents. Now, that I feel beaten up and abused at work, I don’t care as much. Which is awful, but true.
As for in my personal life, I think I’ve had an easier time letting go in some respects. I have no problem getting up and moving to a new place where I know no one — have done it several times. I have allowed my favorite hobbies to take a back seat to things that in prior times I wouldn’t have. I have lost touch with friends. I have let go of neurosis that were daily events for me.
It is eerily calm. I don’t get upset that often anymore. I don’t get emotional as often anymore. But I also probably don’t care enough about certain things. I probably don’t pay attention to things as much as I should. I probably don’t work as hard as I used to.
Hmmm.
I am not sure you are an outlier here at all. I think you are articulating something universal and insightful here, namely that there is a connection between caring, deeply caring, and letting go. I think most of us have a hard time letting go of things we feel extremely connected to – like people we loved and still love, like words we have written that contain bits of us. I think it makes sense that it is easier to surrender things that you don’t feel tremendous investment in. Ultimately, the good life entails amassing things and people we don’t want to let go of?
I tend to dislike most of my writing as I almost always see ways to improve it. There is always a better way to express the ideas I am trying to push, a stronger word, more descriptive etc.
The blog is a different animal for me. I tend to just write and post. I rarely edit or rewrite a post. Once it is published it is generally up for good.
As for letting go in life, well I have been forced to learn how to do so. I am not an expert at it, but I have gotten to be relatively proficient.
I realize in reading your comment that perfectionism does not necessarily manifest to the same extent in different corners of our world. It is interesting – and encouraging – to me that you can be more free with your blog writing than your non-blog writing. You also remind me that in life, letting go is often not up to us…
Wow, congratulations Aidan! (And yes, it’s snowing here too.)
Thanks, Claire! I love the snow, but it is quite a mess here. And I decided to venture out in it tonight to buy ice cream of all things!
Given how reluctant I am to hit “publish” each morning and how impossible I find it to let go of anything, ever, I cannot imagine how you must have felt sending off your baby (to borrow Debra’s term) into the big, wild world.
To continue that metaphor, I wonder if you feel any connection between how you felt today and how you did when Toddler went off to preschool for the first time. I remember a beautiful picture of your husband and her walking down the street. I can almost see a little manuscript with legs walking away from you…
Given the flawlessness of your posts, I have always had a hunch that you are a fellow perfectionista
I do feel that connection and when I was writing this post today in the throes of utter exhaustion and coffee overload, I was thinking a lot about my girls and about how parenthood is a never-ending string of glorious goodbyes.
No snow here. And like you, I have a perfectionist streak that my son has inherited. And I’m not sure it’s a good thing. Because like a heavy snow storm, perfectionism can be paralyzing.
You are so right that perfectionism can be paralyzing, extremely paralyzing. But I wonder if perfectionism is an all or nothing game? Can we have a bit of perfectionism in us or does it not work this way? I also must say that I find there to be undeniable virtues inherent in being a perfectionist. Striving for perfection, though futile, helps me accomplish things I might not otherwise accomplish. Ah, I sense a future post percolating – The Perfectionist’s Prizes…
Hello Aidan,
I am finding your blog for the first time, and thought this post was beautiful. Very poetic. With writing, it has taken me a long, long time to come to a place of saying to myself, and meaning it, “That’s good enough.” And knowing it is more than good enough. And it feels good to be in that place.
For me, the challenge with letting go is trusting the universe. If I let go and trust, that means I must let go of fear and anxiety and worry, and all my false illusions of control. I cling to the illusion, convinced I know best. But lately, my anxious mind state has become untenable. I could have killed myself in a spin-out on the highway caused by rushing in a snowstorm, and as a result, I have become highly aware of the dangers of holding on to “control.”
I’ve found that I cannot even will myself to let go. I must simply become aware of the effects of my behavior on my life, and become willing to do something different. I find I receive information, guidance, something different, when I don’t try to force it. I imagine myself in a fear-free state of mind. I believe it is possible.
Linda
Linda, I am so thrilled that you have found your way here and that you took the time to leave this thoughtful comment. You raise an interesting, if impossible, question here: Is it possible to change these things about ourselves, our tendencies, our reluctance to surrender and trust? Are these parts of who we are, deeply ingrained and ultimately indelible, or can we alter the essence of who we are if we focus on it? The issue of control is huge. We don’t have it, but we want it and fiercely.
I look forward to poking around your blog!
Aidan,
I strongly believe there is an element of changing ourselves that is not in our control. But if we are willing, and open, and aware, and do the work of self-reflection, we make ourselves fertile ground for change to occur. I’ve tried the other way – willpower, forcing change, beating myself up, etc., and it doesn’t work for me. There is a balance between really knowing what I control in my life and what I don’t. I’ve realized recently that I DON’T have control over the state of my mind. I must observe it, accept it, and be willing to listen to a different way of being. And I’m hearing things that have helped me make different choices and have had success in shifting that mind state. It’s amazing, that combination of controlling what I can (awareness, willingness) and letting go of what I can’t (forcing a solution). Such a relief!
Linda
I guess I don’t really need to say that it’s not snowing in Arizona…
I’m a perfectionist too, also a procrastinator, which I once heard is just another form of perfectionism. I procrastinate because unless I can do everything perfectly, I refuse to do it at all. Well, we can see where that attitude is getting me! (dirty house and unpublished book)
I don’t blame you at all for being very persnickety about your book. It’s your book, for goodness sakes, you’re going to send it out of your home as perfectly as you can. Thank goodness there are other professionals involved in this (copy editors, etc.) who also watch for errors, but it is true, at some point you have to be willing to press the “send” button. One of the greatest acts of courage I ever did was pressing “publish” on my blog!
It does take courage to press publish, doesn’t it? I think it is easy to forget how much courage this takes in fact, to lose track of the reality that we are floating our words – and with them, ourselves – into the world. I am curious, extremely curious, about the connection between perfectionism and procrastination. It does make a lot of sense that in needing things to be just-so, we don’t want to do those things at all.
(Maybe this is why my house is so messy!!)
Oh, I know what you mean about letting go. I have a hard time even with blog posts, because I’m used to letting my writing “simmer” for days or weeks while I perfect it before letting it go.
But this is so exciting! Can’t wait to hold this book in my hands.
I love the idea and practice of letting my writing “simmer” for some time before letting it go. I actually didn’t touch my manuscript of LAY for the entire time I was pregnant with Toddler. And then, many months and one baby later, I came back to it with fresh eyes. Made all the difference. But it doesn’t work this way with blogging which I think is good because we are forced to let go on a quasi-daily basis. I think this is an important exercise for all of us. The learning to let go just by doing it.
I let go too easily. Everything but my sons and my husband. I never want to let go of them.
I just don’t know how you can ever have the perspective to know when your manuscript is complete. Aren’t you too close to it to have any perspective. I have had this trouble with everything I have ever worked on– my films, my news segments, my TV shows, and now the novel I am working on. And when I finally see them on a big screen or on a little screen the only thing I see are all the mistakes I’ve made.
I’m envious of the snowflakes, the coffee, the hushed sound of Manhattan when the snow blankets the city.
I can’t wait to read your book. I know I’ll think it is simply perfect.
I do think perspective is a huge problem. When you are so immersed in your work (or your life), it is so hard to see it, actually see it, and evaluate it. And yet. I try. I squint hard and plow through, in keen search of flaws. It is exhausting. I totally understand why people don’t want to see their movies once they are made, or read their books once they are published. Because there will be errors. This is life.
I find it easy enough to let go of some things in life, but writing sure isn’t one of them. I’ve managed to cultivate an excruciating balance between perfectionism and lack of confidence as far as writing is concerned.
Writing is such an intimate thing, there’s nowhere to hide. The other side to that is that having nowhere to hide is one of the great gifts that writing gives to us.
I can barely imagine how daunting it must be to let go of something you’ve spent years writing–so congratulations! What a great moment for you.
I love the idea of cultivating “an excruciating balance between perfectionism and lack of confidence” and in many ways I think I’ve found this balance too. And, yes, it is excruciating, isn’t it? That there is really nowhere to hide is the best – and scariest – thing about writing by far. We can use metaphors and wax figurative, but ultimately we are exposing bits and pieces of who we are.
Thank you for visiting my blog. I really enjoyed visiting yours recently!
This post reminded me of your “Walk Away” one. (That one actually inspired me to write one about letting go of my first marriage and walking away and how hard that can be. After I commented on your post that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about it; it had been nearly 10 years.) Although I do think that in the sense you are describing here, letting go isn’t so much walking away, but it’s letting go of the control…control of your dream, your words, your story, your manuscript. I can walk away pretty well…so in that sense of letting go, I think I am better. But letting go of the control of things? Like letting go of perfection? I struggle. A lot.
Forgive me if my comment is rambling…I am still half asleep.
And thanks for putting me on your blogroll..because seriously, I’m honored. And when I buy your book at my local Barnes and Nobles in May, I will say “Look, I’m on this author’s blog roll!” =)
Letting go and walking away. These things are related, but different. In my view, walking away is leaving something behind, letting it settle in the past. Letting go can involve doing this, but it can also entail simple release, growth, life. I think letting go has more of a positive glint, a shaky optimism in it, that we surrender something that will thrive beyond our grasp.
As an aside, I am so touched to know my Walk Away post made you think about something important to you and about the strength you have had in moving forward.
Just catching up on yesterday’s post. Congratulations on this milestone. Husband is right about the imperfections. But, if you think about it, your worries are lined with optimism: you believe people will read your book! Otherwise, what would the typos matter? So take heart in the fact that underneath your worries you are confident and optimistic, and I think that is more significant. Again, congrats!
Thank you for pointing me to this overlooked nuance, that there is perhaps some optimism buried in this particular experience of anxiety! Underneath all of these glittering insecurities there might just be a bit of confidence and optimism. I like optimism!
I used to be a perfectionist. Before children, I was pretty good at indulging my desire for everything to be right. Things have changed since the birth of my boys. I’m learning to simplify, to worry less and to full appreciate good enough. Is it weird to admit that though I know it’s healthy to embrace the changes, there are days when I miss my old self. I suspect the real reason I’ve abandoned much of my perfectionist tendencies is not really for noble reasons, but rather because I’m too tired to care. The up side is I AM learning that the world doesn’t fall to pieces when things aren’t perfect. It’s scary to know this to be true, because for so many years this part of myself ruled my life.
Enough about me though! Congratulations on reaching this milestone. What a leap to put yourself out there with your book, very brave. I can only imagine how thrilling that must be.
Ah, learning to embrace “good enough.” This is so so important I think. We should not totally abandon our perfectionist tendencies, but it is important that we relax them – particularly when raising kids. Nothing else has made me cede control more than becoming a mother. That things don’t fall to pieces when things aren’t perfect, when the house isn’t tidy, when our to-do lists are neglected? This is major. Life is more sturdy and robust than we think…
Sometimes it feels good to just let go.
It does. Once the shakiness subsides (and it does), it feels good to release something.
Thanks for popping by!
Yay you! Letting go of perfectionism and often control can be very freeing. I am proud of you!
And no, its not snowing in FL. But I wish it would warm up already!
Thanks, Beth! There is something very liberating about letting go, but that doesn’t make it easy to do. Hope you are feeling good!
I struggle to “let go”, both in life and writing. We lost power last night, and I had 15 minutes to finish and publish a post, and it almost killed me to call it done when I could see it was so incredibly lacking.
But you know what? It DID feel good to let go. To say it’s okay to be fine, that good enough is good enough. Perfection is elusive, and chasing it is tiring.
You’re onto to something here. Great post.
(And congrats on letting your baby fly from the nest to the page. What a huge step!)
p.s. It has rained and stormed for 24 hours here. We haven’t had snow since early January, and I live in Maine. What’s UP with this crazy winter? I want my snow!!!
I wish I could give you some of our snow. I think we are going on three feet… Yes, the chasing, the constant chasing, is draining. But given the choice, I wouldn’t stop the chasing. Is that odd? Maybe so. Titanium above said that life is about striking a balance between letting go and holding on and I think I agree, but how in the world do we find that balance?
Look forward to reading your “lacking” blog post. I bet it’s as great as the others!
In a few weeks it will most assuredly be spring. It’s warm enough today to walk down the street with a colleague to a little cafe for lunch. Letting go is part of that balance of learning to live with intention. Holding on to the lessons but letting go of the expectations. Holding on to the love but letting go of the minutae. Holding on to our truth, but letting go of the fragments of imperfection.
I’m not there. I just have to wake up and live with myself every day knowing that I’m trying.
Congratulations on this superb accomplishment of yours! The product of your efforts is the truth, the message that you share. The fragments of imperfection are merely reminders that the work is the product of humans.
“Holding on to the lessons but letting go of the expectations. Holding on to the love but letting go of the minutae. Holding on to our truth, but letting go of the fragments of imperfection.”
I really love this trio of sentences. And I think so much of this is trying, trying hard, knowing that we are trying and toiling and giving ourselves some credit for that.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
Oh, I totally hear you on this. My m.o. is to hold on tight, strangle-hold, choke it to near death before hitting a wall when I have to throw up my hands and say “enough!” It might be time for a change in procedure, no?
My friends and I have a shorthand for this, as well. It’s called the “FuqIt” button and looks a lot like the Staples easy button only it’s the button you press when you just have to step back, let go and get on with the rest of life.
Ooh. I love this “Fuqit” button idea. Cheers to pressing that button when the time is right. When enough is enough. The reality, the simple reality, is that progress is not possible if we do not let go. Life is a constant exercise in letting go of things, little and big. So we better start practicing. Or that button might break!
Thanks for popping by!
I am a perfectionist in some things, but then sometimes it becomes overwhelming, so I just close my eyes and hit “send” or “publish” or whatever the point of no return is. As hard as that is, there is also a tremendous amount of relief when I reach that point. I can’t do anything about it anymore, which is maddening and freeing all at the same time.
On a different note, I kind of enjoy finding typos in published works. I get some sort of satisfaction from it. But I never think that the presence of little mistakes reflects poorly on the author. The editor maybe… Once in a novel I read, there was a whole chapter with only 2 of the 3 main characters on a vacation, and in the middle of that chapter, the third (absent) character’s name appeared as having a conversation with the other one. I must have read the page 10 times. It was confusing, but in the end, I just found it amusing.
Regardless of any small oversights-getting to this point in writing and publishing a book is a HUGE accomplishment! Congratulations and I look forward to reading it!
There is something amazing about saying enough is enough and letting go. For some reason, this reminds me of college when I would stay up late studying for an exam. Of course I would never feel like I knew everything, but I would reach this point of feeling oddly scrambled and peaceful all at once and just close my books and call it a night. I think that maybe there is a good degree of faith in letting something go. Maybe the mere fact that we let go means we are meant to and are ready to?
I love hearing that you are amused by errors in books. What a wonderful attitude. I have always felt the same way. That even books published by big professional houses are human products and are not flawless. But now that I am the one with my name on the book, it makes me all a bit more nervous!
What a wonderful post!! Your exquisite articulation turns me green with envy. I’ve only been following you for a few days, but, oh – how I love to read you! Not in a creepy way, just a (I want to be a blogger like you when I grow up) kind of way. Your grasp of the language thrills me.
Oh yeah, I met my husband in a bar, too. Moved in together that night, decided to get married. It’ll be 33 years in June. 3 daughters, 4 cats (to which I am allergic).
The Amish have a saying, “Only God can create something perfect.” That’s why they always intentionally put mistakes in their quilts. But that opens a whole other philosophical conversation.
Congratulations on letting go. There will be many more times in the years to come… 1st day of kindergarten, 1st sleepover, 1st day of high school, driver’s license, etc… You need to have faith in yourself that you did your best possible work. Whether it’s in your writing or your parenting. Congrats again.
I am a lifelong member – maybe even founder – of the “not good enough club” which is a consequence of the dreaded perfectionism.
Congrats on your edits. I can’t wait until your book comes out!
(and if it makes you feel any better I found a typo in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed)
What a beautiful post. The beauty and strength is in your sheer honesty.
In the sharing of your struggle to let go, you pull me in and help me realize, again, that it is a human experience, to want to hold on. Tzu’s words and yours say it well.
Congrats on your upcoming publication!!
Letting go of your own creations is the most difficult type of release. So much blood, sweat, and tears are in the product, and we’re sending ourselves out in the big nasty world where judgment is everywhere. But we are probably our own worst critics. I am impressed and awed that you’ve completed your book and it’s hitting the universe…AWESOME! Congrats to you because you did what so many of us fear! And that alone no matter what happens with your book makes you a rock star!
Congratulations, Aidan! For me, one of the hardest things is to let go of my written word. It’s never, ever good enough, never clean enough, never enough.
When I was a student, my father would say, “You can’t get higher than an A, and sometimes, for you, an F would be a good thing, too.” I try to live by that (but often fail). It’s okay to not always be the best and the brightest. It’s wonderful to do our best and it’s great, just every once in a while, to know that it’s okay to make a mistake. It’s part of being human.
It’s okay.
My father told me so…
wow what a big day for you!!! How exciting and scary to let your book go. Sounds like a great story! and since my blog is after the alter (really about after the altar!) it sounds like something I’d like!
Good luck and I wish you nothing but the best of luck! If you ever need a reviewer of the book keep me in mind 
Wonderful!!