Happiness Hangover
- 03
- 24
- 10
Today is full of sunshine and slow motion and big smiles. Today is a good day.
A happy day.
Last night’s inaugural Happier Hour was a splendid success. Gretchen Rubin was a phenomenal speaker, the crowd was diverse and delightful, and the conversation was priceless. And my shoes? Those impossibly high and silly bright yellow cagey things? They didn’t hurt one bit.
I will be back tomorrow with more delicious deets about the exquisite evening and today’s Happiness Hangover and a chance to win an early copy of LIFE AFTER YES (hey, I’m feeling happy and generous!), but I wanted to leave you with a tiny taste of the night. The following are the words I used to welcome sixty-plus (!) wonderful women (and one very hot man) and to introduce the lovely Gretchen.
Thank you all so much for coming tonight for the inaugural Happier Hour. For taking the time to indulge me in this project, this experiment, this dream.
For me, happiness is conversation. The more genuine, layered, open conversation I have in my life, the happier I am. But tonight is not ultimately about me. Nor is about the lovely Gretchen Rubin who will speak in a few moments. It is not even about the wonderful group of women (and one important man!) we have gathered here. It is about something bigger than all of us: Happiness. That thing each of us covets and craves.
Many of us here are smiling tonight. Many of us consider ourselves to be happy creatures. But. Yes, there is always a but – especially if you are an over-thinker like I am. But we can all stand to be happier.
When I dreamed up tonight, I had one person and one person only, in mind to speak and she stands beside me now. Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen’s recent book THE HAPPINESS PROJECT has now spent eleven weeks on the bestseller list. Not too shabby, huh?
Bestseller or no, I loved the book for its core message, in many ways the message that unites us tonight. We can all do more to appreciate our days. To honor their goodness. To be happier.
On page two of her book, Gretchen writes:
But though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunate I was. When I woke up in the middle of the night, as I often did, I’d walk from one room to another to gaze at my sleeping husband tangled in the sheets and my daughters surrounded by their stuffed animals, all safe. I had everything I could possibly want – yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature, I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had. I didn’t want to keep taking these days for granted. The words of the writer Colette had haunted me for years: “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” I didn’t want to look back, at the end of my life or after some great catastrophe, and think, “How happy I used to be then, if only I’d realized it.”
These words hit me. And haunt me.
Because this is me. This is all of us. We all have many things to appreciate, to feel happy about. And yet this business and busyness of modern life complicates things that should be simple. This business and busyness of modern life makes it almost impossible to have meaningful conversations about big ideas and universal questions. This business and busyness of modern life makes it hard, so hard, to meet new people, interested and interesting people, who are thinking big and dreaming big and doing good.
And so. Here we are. To talk and toast. To engage and enjoy. To laugh and learn.
And most importantly, to be happier.
Cheers!
____________________________
- Do you feel like you fail to appreciate your good fortune, the brightness of your days?
- Do you ever worry that the moments and years will blur by and that you will look back and wish you had realized your happiness more fully?
- Do you agree that the “business and busyness” of modern life complicates things that should be simple?
- Have you ever experienced a Happiness Hangover, a day when you can’t stop smiling, are a bit slow on the uptake, and have this foolish but fabulous warm and fuzzy fairy-tale-feeling that life is good?
Please leave a comment here between now and 6am EST tomorrow (3/25/10) for a chance to win a copy of THE HAPPINESS PROJECT!
Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks that meaningful conversation enhances happiness. Check out this recent piece from the New York Times entitled Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
“This business and busyness of modern life makes it almost impossible to have meaningful conversations about big ideas and universal questions”, I agree, but for me it goes ever further. This business and busyness (love that by the way!) makes it hard for me to sometimes even think about big ideas and wonderful things. It’s sad, it’s the part of myself I miss the most from life before kids, and responsibility.
On another note, I do have Happiness Hangover’s. They are fleeting, I call them moments of random clarity. I wish I could find a way to capture the feeling more often.
So glad your night was a tremendous success! Can’t wait to hear more.
You break this down to an even more basic level and a more troubling one. Modern existence – its pace and demands – affects what we think about, not just what we talk about. “Moments of random clarity” are divine, aren’t they?
Congratulations! I’m so pleased for you that your event went well and that you’re still happily hungover today. I can’t wait to hear more about it!
One particular point of curiosity: How on earth did you manage to get 60 women drinking wine corraled into a cohesive and meaningful thread of conversation?
The first hour-plus was old school sipping and mingling. But then I spoke the words above, Gretchen spoke, and then she took (fascinating) questions from my guests. This generated a rich back-and-forth. It was certainly crowded though!
I am glad the night was a success and can’t wait to hear more about it!
For me, having my baby has made me stop and realize how lucky I am. I honestly don’t think I take a day for granted with her, it is so bittersweet how fast she is growing and I really do treasure it all. I think when you turn the TV and phone off and just spend time with your loved ones it falls into focus pretty fast!
When I stop and sit on the floor with my girls, stare into their bottomless blues and breathe, it all does fall into focus. Children are magic.
What a beautiful introduction to Gretchen and to a happier hour! I have been waiting for a happier hour de-brief all morning. I keep refreshing my computer to see if you posted on today’s blog! So glad it was a success but not at all surprised. Congratulations!!
Love to hear that you were refreshing your browser. That makes me smile
Stay tuned for more bits and pieces about the night tomorrow!
I love happiness hangovers and as I sit here thinking about when I have had them they are usually after an awesome dinner/evening/outing with a friend. I never noticed the connection between a happiness hangover being the result of something as simple as good conversation- I never really thought about conversation like that even though it’s so obvious. Thanks for pointing that out to me!
I don’t think the connection between happiness and conversation is obvious. I know that conversation makes me markedly happier, but I am not sure why exactly. Is it that I am learning more about others, self, and life? Is it that it makes life less lonely? Is it that ideas emerge from traded words? I don’t know. I imagine that it is all of the above and much more…
It is so true that the petty, pointless and often laughable things are the ones that take away our joy, love of life and distract us from appreciating the blessings and things that make life so good.
Btw Aidan, those yellow shoes are awesome so I’m glad they delivered.
Glad you like the shoes
So much of this is about distractions, isn’t it? The little things (like ominous black beanies) that pull us away from the big things that matter deeply?
Oh, I can’t wait to hear more! (For example, who is that one handsome, important man??)
“Happiness Hangover” – that’s a perfect phrase for a lovely feeling. For me, it is this little voice or presence in the back of my mind that something “special” happened. You wake up in the morning and it takes a second to remember what the special thing is. Or you go about your day a little lighter, carrying this special thought in your heart. Love it!
The one man was Husband of course
It is lovely to feel light, to float, to smile spontaneously, to see rainbows instead of grays for a fleeting time.
Ack, how this makes me wish I could have been there! Sounds like a wonderful, thoughtful night.
We missed you! Next time
You know what made me happy? Seeing that priceless pic of your two boys
Sounds like a splending success. Congratulations! I loved The Happiness Project — I quoted it directly in a very early blog post (http://mwfseekingbff.com/2010/03/09/husbands-vs-bffs/) and was SO grateful to Gretchen (I call her just Gretchen, because I think she’s my BFF even though we’ve never met)because some of the research she quoted helped me prove my own point. Just today a co-worker told me I changed her life (I swear, she used those words) because I told her my favorite tip from the book — if it takes a minute or less, do it now. This simple instruction keeps me hanging up my coat and putting change in my wallet rather than various pockets. So, yay for Happier Hours. I’m jealous (can you tell?)
The one minute rule! Love it. Too bad I don’t follow it
That is fantastic that you changed someone’s life. I mean this seriously. Isn’t it absolutely incredible that what we write and what we say can have lasting impact on other people?
Oh how I WISH I could have been there. Sounds like it was just perfect and I would have loved to have seen you teetering in those shoes as you delivered your perfect welcome! Please please keep me posted on the next get together in this series. I ‘ll be there for sure! And even if I don ‘t win that book, I ‘ll be buying it for my upcoming vacation!! Great job Aidan!!
It is a fantastic book. The fact that this is the sixth copy I’m giving away means something. (Either that I am pathetic and gimmicky or that I loved it. I choose to think the latter.) I do hope you can make it to future gatherings!
I wish I was there. I wish I was there. I wish I was there…
Me too!
Sounds like a night to remember!
I consider myself a pretty happy person, but the older I get, the more easily happiness seems to come.
Definitely a night to remember. And the idea that happiness comes more easily as we get older makes me very happy because we all get on in years and all want happiness in our days!
It sounds like you can not only write, but make excellent public speeches!!
What an awesome event!! So HAPPY for you!!
I am not sure I am an excellent public speaker and in fact am pretty confident that I am not, but I am realizing that I don’t mind public speaking. I am all nerves at first, but then I find it to be oddly exciting.
Did you do trial work as an attorney? I hated it but loved the rush of the courtroom activity. I think that’s the “oddly exciting” sensation of which you speak.
Aidan – As I read your post I was thinking that I would link to that very article you linked at the end! I love it when that happens.
So glad your event went well.
-elizabeth
I’m always appreciative of the gifts I have, along with being completely mystified by why my life is filled with undoable busyness and business, leaving me no time to enjoy those gifts. Every second a to-do list running in my head, every second guilt over something I should have done this day, this month, this year, this life already, that hasn’t been done.
Come to think of it, I could use some more happiness.
What a wonderful night you had! Fun and profound, and with you in great shoes. Life is good.
Glad your event went well.
I definitely get kicked in the pants form time to time with a reminder to relish moments in life as everything goes by so quickly. It is easy for me to only think about how things will get better next week, next year, or in a few years and miss too many moments.
Aidan,
Glad the night was such a success. I love Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project blog, especially her Wednesday tips (I actually found your website through Ms. Rubin). What a wonderful way to spend an evening, exchanging and discussing big ideas with people who really care. Kudos!
you are a great writer and probably fabulous public speaker. i am so excited for you to have gotten that opportunity.
thank you SO SO SO much for the book. I feel so lucky that I won it and have taken a lot from it. Your blog and Gretchen’s one of my daily reads and what keeps me inspired.
What I find really challenging in my own life is that because of this “business and busyness,” I can not find women who are like me: exhausted moms who still want to do, think, discuss, analyze, ponder, wonder, and all while wearing great shoes and drinking wine. I don’t want to just talk about the mom part, or the shoe part, for that matter…but I can’t seem to find any (real, live) women over here who I can do this kind of thing with!