I wrote about this a week ago (I think) and mentioned that I have my demons–the mother demon, the writer demon, the wife demon–each telling me that I’m not good enough. Battling with them everyday is tiresome. Sometimes I just cave into their belittling remarks. And, other days, I stand up, fight, and win (or semi-win).

Truthfully, though, I learn a little bit each time I battle. I learn that I don’t have to be perfect. I also learn to trust myself and my husband.

Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable part of yourself.

Do you think blogging encourages vulnerability?
–Yes, in a refreshing way. It opens the doors for our frustrations, insecurities, etc to be let go. They come back, but when we ‘put it out there’ for the ‘world’ to see it’s like we’re acknowledging that we’re just as human as the next person. It’s a lot easier (and more acceptable) to blog about the truths in our lives than it is for us to stand on a podium in public and start speaking the truth, eh?

Do you feel like by doing so many things, we are stretching ourselves too thin?
– Most definitely. It’s all about balance. When things are out of balance, crash occurs. Just because we have so many things we want to achieve doesn’t mean they must be done in record speeds. Life is short, but it’s long at the same time…if we do everything all at once, we’ll be bored later. Timing is everything…balance is key.

Do you think this phenomenon of trying to do it all and have it all is part and parcel of humanity? Of modernity? Of parenthood? Of personhood?
–A little of each, but for some I think it’s mainly personhood. Some of us put much more pressure on ourselves than others. We buy into the belief that we have to ‘have it all’…when, in actuality, all we need is clearly different. We receive peace when we learn to savor the ‘needs’ more than the ‘wants’ and see that the ‘wants’ are just icing on the cake.

When these five words float through your head, how do you cope?
–I take a deep breath, sit back and realize how truly blessed I am. I woke up. I have another day. I remember to cherish the day I was given. I tend to FREAK sometimes when I have a LONG list of things I want to do and not enough time or resources to achieve everything. Then I remember how my husband almost passed away 5 years ago…life would be SO different right now without him. I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about the things on my list right now had he passed away. Perspective. I remind myself to focus on what REALLY brings me joy and peace and then I thank the Lord for another day.

You’re good enough…trust me.

~melody~

During times like this I turn to Dr. Seuss and read “Oh The Places You’ll Go.”

In relationships it creeps in either when someone chooses not to start or to end a relationship with me, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship. Or where that person chooses someone else over me. How can you not feel as though you are not good enough in those situations. At work, it creeps up pretty much everyday, as I am always getting assignments where I feel as though I have no idea what I’m doing, or where my boss and I have had a disconnect about what the assignment was and I have done it completely wrong, or where I have missed a large concept in a document, etc.

The moment passes a little quicker in relationship situations because I try to move on as best I can and meet new people, whether friends or romantic prospects. The moment lingers continously at work unfortunately. Perpetuating the other questions that come along with “I’m not good enough” — will I ever be good enough? Will I ever be good at this? Is this what I should be doing with my life? Will this ever make me happy?

As is clear by the comments here, expressing the I’m not good enough feeling encourages others to tell you that you are. But for me, that doesn’t really solve the problem. I tend not to believe what people say about me, be it good or bad. I have to believe it myself, and just hearing someone say it doesn’t make me believe it. I have to have an event or a moment, or whatever, of accomplishment that makes me know I’m good enough. Such as finding that great friend or companion, even for a little bit. Or getting positive feedback at work for something I have done.