Slow Down
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I have become a Multitasking Maven (or “Multitaskmaster” if you prefer). And I’m beginning to wonder whether I’m proud of this fact.
I read books while listening to music and checking my phone on the elliptical. I surf the Internet while reading magazines while chatting with Husband while watching television. I respond to emails and write emails and brainstorm blog posts while watching my kids. I eat while working and walking. I have been known to sniff out salons with high-speed so I can leave blog comments while tending to my toes.
Is this multitasking madness a skill? Absolutely. To succeed – hey, to survive – as parents and professionals and people in this world, we must be able to juggle many things at once. Try as we might, we cannot carve the day into tiny units of time in which we tackle one discrete goal at a time. Life is messy. Categories bleed. We must multitask. And ultimately, multitasking is all about efficiency. And efficiency is so attractive, isn’t it? But at what expense? If we fracture our focus so much are we really savoring our moments? I don’t think so.
Is multitasking a syndrome? You betcha. Taken too far, I think that multitasking is a syndrome, an illness, a pathology. When we splinter our selves over the spectrum of our moments, we become completely unable to give ourselves fully to one thing at a time. And when we do try, when we do dare ourselves to commit one thing, we sufferers of this syndrome, get antsy, even guilty, that there are so many other things we could be doing at the same time. We worry that by not tackling these goals, we are losing ground and speed. And this is no good because then we are distracted from that one thing on which we are presumably focusing. Lovely.
Is multitasking a symptom of modern life? 100%. We live in a world of goals and gadgets. A world in which we overbook ourselves and stretch ourselves thin. We race by each other as we navigate our days, phones and coffees in hand, minds numbed by an excess of expectations and media. When we stop to chat with someone else, a fellow athlete in the sport of life, we say predictable things, “I am so busy these days. I don’t know where the time goes. I am oddly so exhausted.” And then we keep going. And going.
And going.
Enough with the generalities.
I write this post today because the Universe has been sending me messages to slow down. And this is odd because (a) I am not sure what the “Universe” is or why I am capitalizing it; and (b) I didn’t know that the Universe had my email address.
Two weeks ago, I was walking home from the gym. I was stopped at a corner checking my phone. And I stepped off the curb and was almost hit by a car. Note that I live one block from the gym. There is no need to check my email during the 45 second walk home. (In fact, Tim Ferriss suggests we check our email at most twice a day. He also calls Multitasking a virus.)
On Friday, I took Toddler to the ice cream truck on our corner. It was a splendid almost-spring day. We wore matching mommy-daughter sunglasses. We held hands. I checked my watch while my little girl was debating whether she would have the Spongebob or Spiderman pop. It was getting late. And I realized I hadn’t placed the catering order for my Happier Hour tonight. When we got to the truck, I told Toddler to wait one minute while I made a call. And I did. I was put on hold. Toddler was put on hold. After a minute or two, she looked up at me and cried. Big, fat pay attention to me tears. Not good.
Later that day, I was scrambling to get us ready to head out of town. The girls were bathed and PJ-clad and scampering around. I started to pack. And then I saw her. Baby. Walking down the hallway, hands covered in blood. In blood. She was clutching my razor. Miraculously, I didn’t panic (too much). I scooped her up and whisked her to the bathroom and ran her hands under water. I promptly realized that the tip of her thumb was cut. I placed it in my mouth while I found a towel. I applied pressure and called Daddy. And then ran her to the pediatrician in her blood-soaked monkey pajamas so that a nice and amused doctor could apply Neosporin and a “finger bandaid.”
I am fine. Toddler is fine. Baby is fine.
Thank goodness.
But here I am realizing that it is time to slow down. Sometimes, it is good to do one thing at a time. Like grieve. These past several days have been soggy and heavy. And I know why. And I have for once allowed myself to stop. To roll around in my feelings instead of running from them, instead of anesthetizing myself with busyness.
Yesterday afternoon, Toddler and I took a quasi-nap together. I closed my eyes while she watched Tigger & Pooh and she closed her eyes while I watched Real Housewives of Manhattan. Yes, technically this was multitasking too, but it was a start. A good one. Because in those hours I could have been emailing or tweeting or leaving blog comments. I could have been writing a chapter or outlining a chapter or cleaning a closet. I could have been at the gym. But instead I chose to stop. And breathe. And listen to the sweet sounds of my little girl sleeping.
SLOW DOWN. SIMPLIFY. STOP. FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS.
I know. I know. What happened to my vow of shallowness?
Here we go! These are the shoes I bought to wear to my very first Happier Hour tonight. They are fabulous. And yellow. You likey?
I do. And now I must figure out a way to wear them while walking and talking and sipping wine. Talk about multitasking!
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- Are you a Multitasking Maven too?
- Has multitasking gotten you in trouble at times?
- Do you feel that by splintering our moments we are not savoring them?
- Have you ever received messages from the Universe to slooooow down?
- Do you think it is possible to eliminate multitasking or has it in some sense become part of our instincts and identities?
- Do you think that multitasking is a particular problem in urban settings or does it this issue know no geographical bounds?
- Any razor mishaps or other alarming accidents in your home?
- Are my shoes killer or what?
Multitasking. Ugh. I do it ALL THE TIME. And sometimes I get so tired of it. But rarely do anything about it. My one victory? I refuse to buy a phone with e-mail capability. Probably because I’m in front of a computer a LOT at work. But I check it so obsessively, that I need one mode of escape from it. I dream of watching TV without also folding laundry. I think it’s why I like cooking so much…I only have two hands. I have to focus on the task at hand.
I’m with you on the cell phone, Anne – I almost prefer not having an iPhone or Blackberry or whatever. I simply CAN’T check my email on the treadmill or out walking the dog.
Are you in my head these days? Really, there are moments when I think, how does she know me so well. I suppose that’s why I enjoy your writing so much. I can relate on so many levels. The weird things, my life is spinning out of multitasking control, frankly I can’t remember on any given day whether I even stopped to breathe, but I’m not entirely unhappy with it. Until I look at my boys and realize, whoa, I’m missing things. It’s hard though, isn’t it, to decide what to give up, what to put on the backburner, what can wait. I’m not good at it. I throw myself at things with abandon and can’t seem to tear myself away. I’m happy in my chaos, but I suspect it’s spinning toward a place of unhappiness. Slow down. Two simple, but important words.
I’ve had to learn to slow down. It got to a point where I was carrying my phone all round the house all the time, constantly checking in case I had somehow missed the sound of an email…
…but those days are long gone.
I can walk while eating but I can’t eat while walking.
I’ve come to find it a blessing that I’m easily distracted. I cannot read or work if there’s music or television on. My son pretty well prevents me from doing much else while he’s awake and looking for trouble. There are certain tasks that piggy-back, but not too many. Sometimes I wish I could do more at once, but mostly I’m thankful that my scattered brain forces me to focus on one thing at a time.
Good luck with the salon tonight. I can’t wait to hear all about it!
I’m a huge multitasker. There are times I put the baby in the Ergo so I can vacuum or sweep. Seriously? Do I want my daughter and future children to remember me with a broom in my hand? My daughter is only 6 months, but these are the precious moments I won’t get back, time to stop and watch her pull a ring off the ring stacker rather than mop the floor. Oh and my husband LOVES Tim Ferriss and the 4 Hour Work Week.
And most importantly, your shoes are to die for!
(a) great shoes
(b) I am sad to miss seeing you
(c) I can’t tell you how I relate to this. Often I do things like almost get hit by cars bc I’m looking down at my email. Or shush my children for inane reasons. Or … any of the things you mention. Also, Grace got my razor when she was about 18 months old and it looked like a murder had been committed in my white tile bathroom.
Anyway, I know. I do, I do. I’m sitting right next to you. I hope you can give me some wisdom because I don’t have any idea.
xoxo
Love the shoes! I am so content with the speed of things in my universe, but I also don’t have nearly as much to task to! Ask me in 5 months..
Slow down Aidan, take it all in, we only get one life here!
Actually, one other thing I can’t do is drink AND sneeze.
This post rings so true to me! I am *constantly* checking my work email, personal email, text messages, twitter and facebook. I am always feeling rushed even on the weekends when I am not working. This weekend I decided to “unplug” and turned off my work blackberry, and didn’t check facebook (on Saturday) or twitter. I can’t tell you how much more relaxed I felt being unplugged. Next weekend I am going to try to not check facebook and twitter and email both days. Hoping that disconnecting from technology will help me slow down and “just be”.
On another note, GREAT SHOES! I can’t wait to hear about the happier hour and hope I can simulate one myself soon!!
Laughing at Mo!
I am guilty of this. Although I have an ancient phone so checking email on it is one thing I *don’t* do. Glad you weren’t run over, by the way.
And those shoes! I think they’ll put a heavy dose of “cheer up” into your day.
The other day I found myself on the stairmaster checking my blog comments while simultaneously waiting for a call from a publicist to set up an interview. I most certainly had a “WHAT AM I DOING?” moment. If there’s any place in the world I’ve been good at checking out of the daily chaos, it’s the gym. I think the addition of blogging to my life has been pretty detrimental in the focus-on-one-thing category. Cause suddenly there’s not only my personal life and my day job to think about — and check emails about, etc — there’s this third quasi-work quasi-personal thing I have going on. And its so connected to facebook, twitter, commenting that its addictive. I’ve tried to instill an “only social network when Husband isn’t around” rule, cause it drives him batty, but that’s a work in progress. So, I feel your pain! I feel like I’m missing so much by doing so much.
Slowing down is hard. And necessary.
As for the Real Housewives of NY, they’re therapy.
As for the shoes – F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.
Be sure to walk in them, slowly.
First, I am envious of your shoes. I could never walk in them, but I love yellow everything. Have fun tonight!
Second, when I multitask (which is usually), I feel like I never do any of the tasks quite right or well enough. The e-mail has a typo, the kiddo has a runny nose, the pretzels end up on the floor, and on and on. When I really, truly stop and do one thing, to focus on one task, it works so much better. Easier said than done (as my son yanks on my knee saying, “Tissue!”).
From the bottom up:
Don’t like the shoes, but I love the color (I mostly don’t wear shoes). More accurately, I don’t understand the shoes. DD22 totally would. She has red patent leather peep-toe heels.
Never had the razor issue – I occasionally grab DH’s razor to do my underarms, never do my legs. Well, sometimes Christmas and Easter – I know, corporal works of mercy. Thing is, my hair mostly doesn’t grow on my legs anymore, like the way my eyelashes have thinned out. Only razor story I have concerns our late feline Sampson (I didn’t choose it), who would continually steal razors from the undersink area and hide them in his pet bed. Psycho-cat.
Slowing down is good, Aidan. When the Universe sends so many messages, we must pay attention. I multi-tasked thru most of DD22 and DD19′s lives, not so much DD27. They tell all kinds of stories now whose events I simply do not recognize.
As badly as I want to be a “successful” blogger, I do truthfully realize that my blogging just doesn’t count for Eternity. I can enjoy it, and work hard at it, but unless someone comes to Christ somehow because of me, it just doesn’t matter.
Love your kids and husband, grieve for your dad, enjoy your Happier Hour tonight. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
I multi-task (what mom doesn’t?) but have discovered the amazing benefits of meditation. Even a minute can do wonders.
Good for you for allowing yourself to grieve. I lost my father when I was very young. I sobbed for weeks and many years later, I still notice his physical absence during big life events.
Cute shoes! Have an awesome time tonite!
Do they make those in a men’s size 12? Just kidding. My almost 6 year old daughter would love it. She already likes doing my hair and is trying to put make up on me.
My son would lose his mind…uh forgot what else I was going to write am watching The Pacific and writing an email while blogging and tweeting…
I’m with you, Aidan. Really, I am. But I’ve been so programmed by society to value multi-tasking, that it’s hard to break free.
Maybe there is a time and place for multi-tasking, and a time for single focus. Multi-tasking as work seems to be okay: replying to emails while waiting on hold on the phone, jotting a thank you note while sitting in a staff meeting. But at home, this should be sacred, protected, non multi-tasking time. What do you think?
Me likey the shoes. A lot. And methinks you will be able to pull them off.
I put myself on a Digital Diet about 10 days ago and it’s doing wonders for my sanity. I love what Eva has to say above about a time for multi-tasking and a time for single focus. That’s what I’m working for and I’m finding that each is that much better for the presence of the other.
Enjoy the salon. Can’t wait to hear about it!
I hate multitasking but don’t know how to stop doing it.
It’s a curse!
Multi-tasking – all the time it seems. I even bought French tapes last fall to listen to while on my way to Ithaca for client meetings as I wanted to polish up my speaking ability (reading is pretty good, writing atrocious).
I have taken to slowing down a bit. I try to not do too many things at once but it annoys me when a day comes and goes without the “to do” list having enough check marks on it.
And I love YELLOW! Those shoes are HOT!!!
Guilty! I’m reading your blog at work while pumping breast milk and keeping one eye on my email.
Oh, and coveting your HOT shoes!
Okay. The shoes (and I’m checking my kindergartner’s homework and talking to my daughter who’s using the bathroom while typing this).
I just had to talk about the shoes. Those are the kind of shoes I wish 1) I had somewhere to wear them and 2) I had the type of life that would allow me to wear such shoes.
Alas, stay-at-home mom-dom does not require such footwear. Altho the women at kindergarten pickup would just die over them!
I’m against multi-tasking. Its got to be bad for the brain. However, I do play around on the computer while watching t.v.
Sometimes I watch t.v. while I’m talking to my best friend, but that doesn’t count as we have been doing that since 2nd grade.
Love the yellow shoes. Someone told me that women who wear beautiufl shoes care about where they are going in life.
I am also part of the multitasking club. Sometimes I wonder if I create “tasks” just so I can feel like I am accomplishing so many things at once. It is a problem, but I’ve vowed to start with one minute of silence. One minute where I sit and do nothing and hope I can build up from there.
Have fun at your Happier Hour!
Every time I think I have reached the multitasking max, I manage to add something else. Not good. And I see my kids, with all the technology, not really being able to focus on any one thing at a time. Not sure about all this, but I think doing what you’re doing, that is, making a concerted effort to have that down time, is a huge step toward sanity. And, I think, an almost mandatory parenting gift to your girls.
Love love LOVE the shoes!
Just popping in to say the Frontline special “Digital Nation” is a must-watch, especially for multi-taskers. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/digitalnation/
Personally, I’m a ‘be in the moment’ kind of girl, but I would probably get a lot more done (and be more tied in to the smart women of the blogosphere) if I was a multi-tasker. There’s benefits and drawbacks to everything, right?
And those shoes are fantastic. Love.
-elizabeth
This topic has gone around the blog world these days. I will be writing a blog post about it in the future. Right now, though, I am taking a well deserved break.
That Happier Hour sounds like it will be a blast! And those shoes? To die for.
Love the shoes. Don’t break your neck.
I realized I was frazzled several months ago when I ran a red light not like a maniac, just like normal driving. Like I didn’t see it ONE BIT, just tooling along and drove through it. What was I thinking? Well, I was thinking about something else, like getting where I was going.
I’m a very unsuccessful multi-tasker. I have to really THINK about my blog comments. I edit my posts like crazy. I’m picky, picky, picky. No shortcuts there. I just short cut sometimes and don’t read like 100 comments which is too bad because I’m missing a discussion which is what blogging is all about. But my book awaits, and my husband awaits, and, yeah, my kids.
I missed this yesterday because I was too busy taking a sick day from work to catch up on dentist and doctor appointments and trying to squeeze in a few minutes to finally get another post up on my blog. Oh and did I mention the spring party at my daughter’s school I volunteered to help out with?
Yes, I understand multitasking all too well. And I understand how destructive it can become in our lives. But it is also hard to ignore the productivity it *appears* to foster. The argument that we only have one chance at this life is used to reinforce that we need to slow down and enjoy it. But this same argument is what encourages us to get as much done as is possible in the little time we have. And we all know it is impossible to find a perfect balance between these conflicting forces in our lives.
Those shoes are awesome! Can we get a picture of what you wore with the shoes? I could use some new style ideas
First things first: The shoes are fabulous!
I think multitasking only seems necessary now that we’ve given it a name. Not long ago, it was called “trying to do too many things at once,” and it was frowned upon. I think it’s not possible to do more than one thing at once, other than, say, walk AND talk. Both things end up done inadequately. I am horrendous at doing more than one thing at a time. I trip over my own feet and bump into myself. Horrendous…