Books for Bulldogs?
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We all know that I like to meander down metaphorical paths.
But not today.
Today I need your advice. I don’t necessarily want it. But I need it.
Here is my dilemma. My rookie novel LIFE AFTER YES debuts in about five minutes weeks. And to say that I am a bit anxious about this impending event is a severe and silly understatement. But that is not the point of this post. I mention my paralyzing fear only to garner a pinch of sympathy. Onward.
So. My book’s due date is May 18th. Soon. And less than two weeks later, I head to Yale for my tenth year college reunion. The close proximity of these two happenings was at one point a very happy coincidence. My publisher and publicist and I all agreed that this timing was fantastic to generate some added buzz for my book. Fine.
At one point, we had a book signing planned during graduation weekend at the Yale Bookstore. Yay! But then I decided that the last thing hungover thirty-somethings would want to do during the day on their college reunion weekend is traipse to a campus bookstore and sit in a folding chair and listen to a nervous blonde read. We canceled this signing. Fine.
Instead, we decided that I could host a little, super-casual cocktail party. I would invite classmates to come, sip champers, and chit chat about LIFE AFTER YES and life after Yale. Once upon a time, this seemed like a fabulous idea. But then. This idea soured on me too. I thought of myself standing there in some silly party outfit waiting for people to show up. Yuck. No dice.
So. The latest incarnation of my at-Yale quasi-publicity plan is to leave copies of my debut novel in the hotel rooms where I am staying. I would leave one book in each room as a little party favor. My lovely publicist has been in touch with the manager at this great hotel and he loves the idea. Yippee!!
But. I have been feeling a bit weird about this too. Truth be told, I am pretty much feeling weird about everything that concerns my book these days, so I didn’t think much of it. I have chalked all of this (the broken sleep, the vivid dreams, the existential malaise) to generalized rookie anxiety.
But then. Last week Husband and I went out for dinner with a friend and her husband. We had a marvelous dinner. We talked about everything. About parenthood and professional ambivalence and identity in the Internet Age. We even talked about reunions. I told our friends about my terrific plan to gift books in hotel rooms during reunion weekend.
And my friend’s husband said something. “Do you really want to do that?”
And I startled. And asked him why. And, ever diplomatically, he told me that people are nervous to return to their alma maters. That they invariably feel insecure and can’t help but compare their lives, their paths, their successes to those of their classmates. He said that he wasn’t sure he’d want to walk into his hotel room and see the published novel of a cohort.
As he said these things, I nodded. Because everything he said made perfect sense. Because, really, I want to return to Yale, the scene of some of the very best days of my life, and just have fun and see people who have slipped from the edges of my life. That weekend is not about me. Or my book.
Since that meal, I have made a point of asking several trusted friends what they think about my plan to give books away. And each and every one of these friends has told me the same thing: That this is a great and generous idea. That this is a clever and fun way to get my book in the hands of people who have a collegiate connection to me and might enjoy my story. But maybe they said this because they are my good friends?
I don’t know. What I do know is that in my current not-so-cute state of pre-publication petrification, I’m not 100% sure I’m thinking straight. I know that I need to get a lot better about embracing the notion of self-promotion. I know that I need to be proud of my book (and I am) and do what I can to encourage people to read it. I know that scores of fellow Yalies have accomplished wildly wonderful things and I look forward to hearing about their sundry successes between sips of Pinot.
But I also know that I don’t want to put off people whom I am genuinely eager to see and celebrate with after all these years.
I am well aware that I’m probably making a monster dilemma out of a tiny tactical decision. But here, in this gray moment, it doesn’t feel this way. Here, in this gray moment, this somehow feels kind of important. And I want to get this right. Or at least not get it wrong. So help me. Pretty please.
Books for Bulldogs? What would you do in my position?
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How have you felt returning to your schools for reunions? At your reunions, has there been a palpable sense of competition among classmates regarding achievements since graduation? How would you feel if you opened the door to your hotel room and a classmate’s book was on your pillow?
Firstly, that picture is so adorable!
Personally I find the idea of books in hotel rooms quite clever and sweet, but maybe a little intrusive for a reunion, when you don’t know all of these people personally. I like the cocktail party idea, because it can be made not just about the book but, as you said,
“I know that scores of fellow Yalies have accomplished wildly wonderful things and I look forward to hearing about their sundry successes between sips of Pinot.”
Thanks for chiming in, Kat! I really need all the advice I can get on this one. And this is already striking me as an interesting discussion! I want to ask: Why is it intrusive to give something to someone for free? I go to events all the time and walk away with gift bags full of items and products and I never feel this is intrusive. I either use the things I receive or don’t, but I never make a judgment. Why is this situation different? I guess I figure that people might read the book or give it to someone else or maybe even leave it behind….I am really curious about this!
(It’s also worth mentioning that I am either giving books away or doing nothing at all. I do not want to do the reading and I have officially nixed the idea of a cocktail party as well!)
I think in this case it’s different, at least to me, because people are coming for the reunion, not exclusively for a book party or other kind of sponsored event. And when you get to your hotel room I think you feel like it’s your “personal space” in a way, even though you’re away from home, so I might find it intrusive to have something being promoted show up there.
I don’t know, it’s kind of funny how much we can read into these little things if we choose to!
If it is between doing nothing and giving away the books – YOU MUST GIVE AWAY THE BOOKS. Sure, some people might feel like their noses are getting rubbed in your success a bit, but you know what? Those people will feel resentful of you anyway! At least this way, they will have your book and maybe read it and then maybe bitch about it to their friends back home and say terrible things about how they could have written a much better book (yeah right). But then their friends will be in B&N and see your book and remember that they somehow know you and will want to BUY YOUR BOOK. I guess I am coming back to the old maxim that “there is no such thing as bad publicity.”
And I personally would love a free book in my hotel room. But I am a book whore.
I whole-heartedly agree with Rebecca.
Agreed as well. Those who are threatened by your success will be threatened anyway. I like the cocktail party idea more though–I’d stack the deck with your friends and then you’re comfortable no matter who else shows up.
I’m not sure if I can give advise here! I’m doubt I would pick up any book that was left in a hotel room, I’d probably treat it a tad suspiciously, but still, it isn’t a bad idea. Personally I quite like the cocktail party idea, but it is kind of all about who you can get to turn up. The last thing you want is to slowly get drunk while chatting to a couple of disinterested neighbours…
..but I’m not really helping here am I?! My apologies. I’ll buy the book though, when it’s out!
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are kidding around, Mo
It would be obvious that the book was a little weekend gift and I would include a little note with it. There would be nothing suspicious about it. But you nailed my concerns about the cocktail party idea. The last thing I want to do is stand there, waiting and worrying, for people to show up. Reunions are nerve-wracking enough as it is!
I too think it is a clever idea.. but agree it might be a tad intrusive..just a tad. I also like very much the idea of the dinner party. If you invite them, they will come. And I’m not kidding. That is not intrusive, it’s entertaining.. and people love that. I’m excited with you about your book coming out. Cheers. Enjoy the ride..!
Thanks, Shelby! Allow me to press you further on this, what is “intrusive” about giving a hotel room gift? If there were a cookie basket left in my hotel room arranged by a new local baker (even a classmate!), I would be excited and wouldn’t think twice.
(Also worth mentioning that this idea came to me after attending my sister’s law school graduation. The class day speaker had a book coming out and he left copies in our hotel rooms and – as a reader and writer – I was thrilled to have a new book to read. But maybe this is because I am a writer? It just struck me as a nice perk!)
This is all so interesting to me!
The book in the hotel room doesn’t really bother me. I think the people that it will bother would be bothered by your accomplishement no matter what. Having said that, having some type of cocktail party where people can come and get a signed copy and chat is such a great idea. Especially if you have lined up a couple of friends that promise to be by your side. I would need that to start the event, but I’m just neurotic like that. BTW, this is a VERY GOOD dilemma to have!!!! Don’t lose sight of that. Be very proud and definitely do something that w/e regarding your novel!
I know that this is a wonderful dilemma to be faced with. Believe me, I’m not losing sight of this. That said, I am flailing a bit as publication approaches and a good part of me wants to duck for cover and wait for May 18 to come and go and do NOTHING. I know that this is textbook anxiety, but alas, here I am in it. I want to do something to spread the word about my book, but I do not feel comfortable having a party – however small and casual – around me. Not sure why. Just gotta follow my gut on this one… Thanks so much for taking the time to weigh in on this very privileged problem
Now is not the time to duck for cover. Put the books in the hotel room. Maureen is right in saying the people who will be bothered by it are going to be bothered by your success regardless.
The hardest part about being a writer and then a published author is realizing once you publish, you are also your own best PR person. You can have a publicist. Your publishing house can have a whole department. Nothing will matter if you shrink from the book. OWN IT! BRAG ABOUT IT! LOVE IT! All because it is a part of you and a part your classmates need to know about as do many other people.
Thank you, Nicki. When I am feeling confident and proud and excited, this is exactly how I feel. Exactly. But the problem is that those insecurities creep up and do their dance and then my instinct is to shrink. What is clear from my own confusion and the multiplicity of diverging comments here is that I need to think a bit more about this!
Hey Aidan,
Me, I’d make it real personal. People are going to say what are you up to? (Most people who show up have been conventionally successful in life or they won’t show up. They want to share success!)
You say, my novel, Life After Yes just got published. It’s about fill in the blank. People may say, “I’d love to read it.” Then you say, I’m having an informal cocktail party tomorrow at 4:30 in the blank suite. Would you like to sip some wine, accept a gift copy and celebrate its release with me?
Then you hand out a pre-printed invite to them.
It’s personal and that’s the best kind of promotion. Circulate around the room, making it your goal to speak to every single person.
Giulietta
I think Giulietta’s suggestion is a great one and allows you to get the word out in a friendly way. About the dinner comment–I would brush it off, it sounded like a slightly insecure comment and I think he was projecting how he is feeling….Your book is going to accompany me on a flight to Paris:)
I don’t have a problem with your idea at all. I mean, this IS Yale, right? I sincerely doubt many of your fellow graduates are homeless and living in a box under the freeway.
Rather, I suspect they would enjoy your success and would be supportive. I know I would be.
I think a note (perhaps even personalized if that’s possible) with the book is a grand idea and would be viewed in a positive manner.
Good luck, Aidan!
If I went to my highschool reunion, and I walked into my hotel room to find a book published by one of my class mates… Even one that I despised!… on my bed, my reaction would honestly be a positive one.
“Good for him!”
“Well, look at this!”
and even,
“I got a free book out of the deal!”
If nothing else, morbid curiosity would have me reading the book just to see if it’s any good!
Put them in the rooms! Sign a little note in every one if you have the guts, telling them you want to share a little piece of your life with them. Be proud of what you’ve done!
And…
Congratulations.
Let me point out here, for the record, that it hasn’t even been 10 years since I graduated yet… so I have no reunion experience to speak of. Take my advice with a grain of salt. Or a whole bottle of salt. You pick.
You are so self-aware and sensitized to those around you, it’s commendable. Bravo, bravo, bravo.
Am now venturing into advice territory, something I don’t usually do as a coach…but, here I go. Wondering if you could stick with the cocktail party which your fans above seem to love (perhaps we all enjoy cocktails, hmmmm!) and put a slightly different spin. Call it a “Life after Yale” party hosted by you. Could even collaborate with the reunion organizers (I have NO idea how feasible this would be). Invite people to bring their own anecdotes to share and promise to do a blog series of sorts (you ARE a published author, after all). Or another modality of stringing these together and documenting for everyone (as PDFs). Could be your publisher may be willing to foot that bill (again, I have NO idea). Their “loot bag” for coming to the party is your book. This approach may take some pressure of YOU and put it on the whole group. FUN!
I have a fear (ok, more of a benign “concern” that if you leave your books in the hotel room (which I ALSO think is a grand idea and I would appreciate it if I were a guest) that you might be inclined to fret: a) about how intrusive people find it (based on this line of questioning originating from one comment from a friend) and b) what you story you will tell yourself if you discover anyone has not taken their book home.
The weekend is not necessarily about you AND you are providing (with the cocktail party) a way for EVERYONE to celebrate life after Yale. Tres cool, je pense.
Helpful or hindering????
TG
I so love these ideas. And the thoughtfulness of your advice. The issue is that all of this takes careful planning and my hunch is that I will be funding any and all hoopla around my book. The funny this is that I have been planning on slipping a little note in the book about LIFE AFTER YES as being part of my “life after Yale.”
Great minds think alike, I guess
Three things…
I love me some aidan. I just do.
My sister went to Yale.
And my advice… I like the book signing because it’s optional. But leaving books in hotel rooms may generate a pettiness from some who may feel you’re leveraging nostalgia for personal gain. Reunions are such dicey affairs to begin with… Plus…if you leave it in everyone’s room, you’ve pretty much guaranteed you’ll talk about nothing other than your book the entire weekend. So I personally would go with book signing. Less invasive for both the petty of mind as well as you.
I love me some aidan.
Very interesting and well-taken point about my need to think about whether I want to talk about LAY all weekend. As a person, a Yalie, I don’t. As a very proud and nervous rookie novelist (who frankly just wants the book to do well enough to ensure that I can keep writing), I do. Alas, a thorny dilemma.
I love me some John
Hmmm, I kind of agree with your husbands friend… I keep wondering why you need to link the reunion and the book release at all. I know that it is perfect timing for you and it would be a great place to get the word out about the book but you’re right, the reunion isn’t about your book – it’s about you and your time with your friends.
That being said, don’t be afraid to talk about your success! This is a huge and exciting time for you and your classmates will love to hear about it from you! If you really want to give out the books, maybe set some out on a table at the reunion as a gift if anyone would like a copy! That way it’s not so “In your face! I have a book!” hehe
Just my two cents! : )
Have you thought about doing a virtual book tour with your book launch? You could do guest blog posts, radio interviews and live chats to get the word out about the book. Doing something virtually might be an easier way to ease into promoting yourself. If you have an alumni newsletter you could even write an article or a blurb about the book there!
I certainly don’t need to link the two events, but part of me wants to and part of me thinks it makes logical sense. I have thought of doing a virtual book tour! And one is loosely in the works. If any of you are interested in hosting me or my words on your sites or in any other way helping me spread the word about my literary baby, please let me know!
Thanks for your words, Sara
hi sweets, my apologies for not being around lately. been taking a much needed break from the internets and even gone back to pen and paper a bit (GASP!)
anyway… i can really feel your sincerity in this post, wanting to do the “right” thing in terms of promoting not only LAY but yourself as well. and a reunion on top of it… yeesh! my anxiety would be through the roof.
i’m not going to be good with advice on this one, for a couple of reasons… 1) i don’t go to reunions. i just don’t care for them. (nothing personal to those who do, i just don’t.) and 2) i agree with your other commenters about LAY in the hotel rooms and it being intrusive.
since you’re poking and prodding more about this “intrusive” thing, i’ll just tell ya… since you brought up the comparison about the wedding gift bag being left in ones hotel room, i personally, upon receiving said bag, go straight for the food.
my husband and i attended a wedding a couple of years ago and the bride had compiled this pamphlet of things to do around the area where the wedding was taking place.
the pamphlet was beautiful. one of her bridesmaids was a graphic designers for southern living mag at the time, and it was very well done. i know and could tell just from looking at it that A LOT of work went into the multi-paged pamphlet.
but the only reason i looked at it was because i am friend’s with the girl who created it.
long story short, we left the pamphlet in the room upon check out.
so, i would ask yourself this: would it affect you to hear that after placing however many copies of LAY in hotel rooms, you find them to still be in the hotel rooms after check out? i’m not saying everyone would do this… i’m just saying it’s something to consider.
i have no doubt that you will have individuals who would find LAY in their rooms (should you choose to do this) and be ecstatic for you.
lastly, i agree with the commenter about who mentioned the part about reunions that is basically sharing ones resume over conversation and too much alcohol throughout the weekend… and how finding a fellow classmates published novel in their hotel room (while it is an incredible accomplishment and something to be celebrated) can be misconstrued as boasting.
like i said, i don’t attend reunions, so i don’t know “protocol” (for lack of a better term)… but i would assume classmates don’t leave business cards or anything else in people’s rooms, right? i dunno, i could be entirely wrong. like i said, i don’t go to reunions…
crap, i’m rambling.
ya know, if it were me, i’m not sure what i would do. but i think i would opt out of leaving a copy in hotel rooms, and when LAY comes up in conversation when sipping pinot with classmates, should individuals seem sincere about LAY and ask about it, i’d offer them a copy.
i know it sounds uber casual, which is just my style, you know that… but like you said, you need to follow your gut and ultimately be content in whatever decision you make with regards to promoting your book.
either way, this is awesome and i’m very proud of you and wish you nothing but the best.
also… forgot to mention this… you have A LOT of online supporters when it comes to you and the release of your book. can your site designers come up with a way for those of us who want to support the release of your book on our own sites with some sort of widget or banner?
that way you don’t necessarily have the pressure of combining the reunion with the release of your book. you know that you still have the promo of those from your online community.
just a thought…
shutting up now and going back to my coffee and retreating from the internets.
ps- like john said, “i love me some aidan.”
Do it! You’ll be doing a lot of self promoting, and none of it will feel 100 percent comfortable. You just have to have the killer instinct and go for it. Your book is something to be proud of, and this is no time to be shy.
I think it’s a great idea and personally, I would be thrilled to receive a classmate’s book and I would probably read it even if I wasn’t all that interested in the topic. However, in light of the “intrusive” comments, why don’t you have the books at the hotel reception desk and as guests check in they can take the book if they are so inclined. If they are not interested, they can pass. My guess is most people will gladly accept it!
I love reading about or hearing about anything and everything that has to do with someone I once knew or was somehow connected to. So, if I were one of your classmates (even if I didn’t know you personally), and I knew that you wrote a book, I would have to read it. Because I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. So, if you didn’t give me a copy, I’d have to go out and buy it. I don’t think I’m alone in this. That’s why Facebook is so popular…people are curious and like to feel connected to something or someone. Therefore, my conclusion is that I think you should leave them in the rooms. I would LOVE to walk into a hotel room and be greeted with a new novel, especially if it were written by someone to whom I was connected. That’s exactly what I would be looking for at a reunion…a connection. And if nothing else, it will give people something to talk about at the various gatherings, whether they love the idea or hate it, love the book or hate it. It’s all publicity in the end.
“Love it or hate it.” I think I need to embrace this reality. Because no matter what any one of us does, some people are going to love it and some are going to hate it. We cannot please everyone. I think I am just scared. And that’s okay. I am not just an author. I am a human. And, apparently, a big baby!
I think you should totally leave the book. Like someone above said: the people that will have a problem with it are the people who will have a problem with just the mere fact that you’ve published a book.
I think it would nice if you could leave a note with each book — doesn’t have to be personalized necessarily. A little typed up note that says something like “Hey, my book just came out and I’m so excited about it. Wanted to share it with you. I’m having a little get together tomorrow to celebrate and would love to see you there. Etc.”
Good luck!
Now is not the time to be shy! Leave the books in people’s hotel rooms! It’s free advertising among a highly literate group of prospective book-buyers – sounds like a dream. The only people who would be negative about getting a free book are probably people who would be negative about you publishing a book in the first place.
If they leave their copy behind, so what? As long as you try to have a tough skin about this, it can only end well.
Ok. I’m totally in the minority here and may risk you never reading my blog again but here goes…..
I am TOTALLY in full agreement with your husband.
Not my husband! My friend’s husband
My hubby likes the idea of leaving the books and thought this would be an interesting and fruitful blog post!
(There is no right answer here and of course I will always read your delightful blog, Jane!)
Oops! Sorry! I knew that. But in my haste and trepidation to write my response I left out a word.
Book promotion is terrifying. It just is. And with people you know (or knew) you can multiply the potential horror factor by 1000.
That said, I LOVE both the hotel room gift idea, and the cocktail party (although it sounds like that’s off the table now).
Here’s the thing: it’s way too easy to focus on the people you can imagine responding negatively and to adjust your approach according to them. Bad idea. There will be folks who are jealous, aren’t in the mood for a book, or don’t like novels…you can’t change that (or guess who those folks will be). This goes for any promotion you do. Focus instead on imagining the people who will be delighted by the gift of your book, and excited to celebrate with you.
Here’s to your reunion being a great kickoff to your book launch!
Trish – your sage and seasoned advice means a lot to this rookie. I think that promotion is probably always going to feel a bit scary and uncomfortable (for me at least) and that focusing on those who will be excited and happy about receiving my book is very wise.
This publication stuff is petrifying, no? Good petrifying, of course
Aidan, I think it’s a great idea. Even if people are insecure about what they have or haven’t accomplished in the ten years since college (I say this coming up on my 10 year reunion
, they’re also innately curious about what others have done. Plus, it’s very generous to give away copies!
Curiosity. That’s it! That’s one of the reasons why I am so excited to go to my reunion. I can’t wait to see people and to hear what they have been up to in the last decade. I guess that as a curious cat myself I would be really excited to be given the book or any extra peek into the life or work of a classmate. But that’s just me (or a few of us!) apparently!
(We have both been out of college for almost ten years. Does that make us young or old? Hmmm.)
It makes us spring chickens!
I think leaving the books in the rooms is sweet. If it were me, I’d be thrilled to get a free book out of it and honestly if it were someone I didn’t like or I felt jealous or whatever it would just make me want to read it all the more. And if the person leaves the book in the room, then the next guest will find the book and you have hooked into a whole new circle of people which isn’t bad either!
I did have Mandy’s thought too, of leaving a basket at the check-in desk if people want to take a copy. But that maybe is somehow even more in-your-face. You could leave a box at the campus book store for people to take a copy? I feel like people always go to the bookstore at reunion time to buy new school t-shirts and gifts.
Bottom line I would definitely provide your book to people in one way or another while you are there – the vast majority of people will love getting a free book written by a classmate and it is a great way to get a wide net of people reading it! You can always stick in a cover note that shows your insecurity (e.g., “At least I’ll know some of my fellow Yalies will have read it if the book is a flop!” or something) to take the edge off if you are worried.
awww, I am quite excited for your book’s release AND your reunion. I hope when mine is around the corner that I am just as excited and accomplished as you are.
Being said – I think the book idea in the hotel rooms with a little note sounds great. Especially if the note is just something short, sweet, to the point, and NOT boastful or intrusive. I think some people will be delighted/happy/excited about your book being in their room and others? not so much because a hotel room is their “personal privacy”, they’re not accomplished enough to feel secure about their own lives, or just plain…weird.
I can’t wait for your book btw. yay!
Aidan,
I am with the group that feels like leaving a book in a hotel room would be intrusive. Should people be happy for you, of course, but is the reunion really the place to do something like that? I’m not sure, but my instinct says not really. As someone mentioned, I wouldn’t leave my business card in everyone’s hotel room, because I think it would be tacky. If someone wants to know what I have been up to in conversation, would I pass it along, sure. So, on that note, I think that having the books at the hotel front desk and making an optional offering of the book upon check in is a much less intrusive plan. It becomes optional. Although yes, people have the option of leaving the book in the room upon checkout if they don’t want it, I have a feeling that they will be more curious and likely to take it upon check-in and won’t feel as though they are having in thrown in their face.
People are insecure for the most part, let’s not give anyone a reason to NOT want to read your book. Perhaps it’s my own paranoia, but this is also why I don’t like telling people what I do. It just feels like I am bragging about it unnecessarily. Stupid maybe, but I have had enough negative reactions that it has obviously colored me.
Slightly related, I am on the board of advisors for a non profit group that works to expand programs for gifted children. We had a meeting last night and one of the main topics was how gifted was a bad word, and how it was incredibly hard to raise funds for gifted programs for children because people figure they will be fine on their own because they are already smart, why do they need help. Also because it is more warm and fuzzy to give to physically or mentally disabled children. I am going to tie this into your post, I promise. So here, you are the gifted one, you are a published author. No doubt your classmates are also gifted, but by immediately showing them how gifted you are by doing something like putting a book in their hotel room (at an event where this is not something I would normally expect), I think you might run into the same kind of hostility.
Whew, long winded. Anyway, I think books at check-in is the way to go.
I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about this. The two comments that resonated most to me were Nicki’s and JCO’s, even though their sentiments were different. (Helpful, no? Sorry…)
Nicki’s absolutely right: LAY is your third baby and you need to advocate for it just like you would for your daughters. And you should be proud of your accomplishment and ready to talk about it with any and all comers. As she and Maureen said, there will always be somebody who looks at you askance regardless of what you do. (I hate that that is the case.)
John’s absolutely right, too: think about what you want your reunion weekend to be about. If you think that leaving the book in the hotel rooms will turn your experience into an all LAY-all the time affair and you’re okay with that, then go for it.
And now I will possibly contradict myself with a thought that just popped into my head: only a fraction of Yale reunion-goers stay in the hotel, right? If so, your footprint might be quite small and might therefore fall into the fun & subtle buzz category rather than the possible intrusion one. So I’m leaning toward YES!
P.S. I wonder if the hotel in question is the very one in whose ballroom I got married…
This hotel is sans ballroom. It is very small and very new and very chic. Any ideas?
I agree that the people who would be bothered by the book in their hotel room,will be bothered by your success anyway. I love the idea! I would go with the hotel room, definitely.
Thanks for your positivity, Jenn! And for taking the time to comment
Well, clearly you’ve hit a nerve with this one… So many comments so early in the morning! It didn’t occur to me that there would be anything wrong with this plan until you mentioned your friends comment, and then it was like “Ahhh yes.” Reunions are such sticky situations. Recently my high school class started some listserv where everyone started writing what they’ve been up to. And the emails went something like “In the little free time I have between producing The Daily Show and writing my third novel, I’m teaching blind children to read and sitting on the Junior Board of the Met.” Honestly, it made me vomit a bit in my mouth. Not that I wasn’t happy for them, but the presentation was a bit much. You, for the record, clearly don’t make me vomit. But, the point is, some people might feel you are imposing your success on them when they never asked.
THAT SAID, I too am just learning and coming to terms with the necessary evils of self-promotion. If you want to be a successful writer, you just have to do it. I told my husband the other day that I was going to ask my blog readers as a bday present to spread the word, and he said the same thing: Do you really want to do that? And the answer is partly that no, I don’t want to ask anything of my readers other than to read, but it comes with the gig.
Personally, I like the book signing… the people who are interested can come… and they can BUY books, which is always exciting for you. If that’s off the table entirely, I say bring all the books you can, talk to everyone you can, offer to give them a book when you talk about it. They wont say no, but at least its a little less intrusive than arriving a hotel room immediately faced with the crazy success of one of your classmates. I think that scenario might make me be like, “Ok, it’s on. The reunion has commenced…..” I hope I don’t come off like an ass, just trying to be honest…
I think it’s all about the accompanying note. I trust you’d write one that was in no way braggadocious.
But don’t have the hotel staff leave it on the bed. Opt for the desk or table. Bed = intrusive.
Don’t worry! They wouldn’t leave it on the pillow. That would be very silly. And very wrong!
I agree, I was feeling inexplicably uneasy about the idea until you mentioned the note. A little note changes the whole thing from appearing like a stunt planned by your publisher to a personal and generous gesture. Go for it!
I think I am in the same camp as so many others when I say that I think that anyone who would feel like it was a boastful thing to do will just not be happy for you either way. I think that there are a lot of petty people in this world and thus someone is going to not like that you left the book in their room so you have to be prepared for that.
HOWEVER, I think there are a lot of other people who would be thrilled! I think that what people are forgetting is that you were (possibly still are) friends with a lot of these people. Your friends will be happy for you and pleased to find a copy of the book.
For those that have mentioned that this will make your whole reunion weekend very LAY focused, well of course it will. And even if you don’t leave the book I am sure there will be a focus on LAY. It is what you are doing. When people ask what is going on in your life you will be able to say “I am married to an amazing man, I have two beautiful children and I have just published my first novel.” That will spark the conversation anyways. People will talk about the book. I don’t think that is a bad thing at all.
Bottom line- I think you should do whatever would make you most comfortable. If you are worrying too much about the books in the rooms then don’t do it because you don’t need to add stress to yourself. But if you can get past the worrying than I think it is a great idea!
P.S. I can not wait to read the book myself!
Holy smokes! Be careful what you wish for, right? I’ll chime in here as well, with the disclaimer that I’m confident I’ll only muddy the water further for you. My apologies in advance.
After reading all the comments, I’m in Giulietta and JCO’s camp. Despite your statement that you’ve eighty-sixed the cocktail party I think it’s a grand idea. 1) As many have noted, it is optional. 2) It is more in line with people’s expectations of how books are promoted (more so than the “leave behind” method in hotel rooms). 3) It is social and comports with the general mood of merriment at a reunion.
If you are concerned about making any portion of the weekend too focused on you, then don’t do the reading. Just mix, mingle, sip, and sign. Obviously the undercurrent of the soiree will be your book, but people will be free to discuss their own lives and successes as well.
Lastly, one other thought that sprang to mind… There are lots of aspiring writers out there. Have you considered that by promoting LAY during the weekend you might become a resource (for guidance, encouragement, what-have-you) to another as-yet-unpublished writer? At a public – if small – event you make yourself available to other people who are dreaming the same dream that you did. I suspect that Sister I’s 5th graders are not the only ones who might be curious about traveling your path to publication. Just a thought.
Good luck. With as much thought and consideration as you’re putting into this decision, I’m confident you can’t make a bad one.
I *love* the idea of having a book waiting for guests in their hotel room! If someone doesn’t want to read the book they can leave it there. I don’t think the gesture is intrusive – at all. Self promotion is so hard but it’s necessary to sell books (I think?).
I would pass on the cocktail reception, just so you can take the time and enjoy yourself at your reunion and catch up with your friends/former classmates.
And I can’t wait to read the book myself Aidan.
Whatever you choose, I hope you are happy/comfortable with the decision because that’s what is most important.
Good luck!
I agree. What matters is that I am ultimately comfortable with whatever decision I make. But what if I am not comfortable with any of this? What if I am only comfortable with hiding behind a loyal screen and asking silly questions that make me spin in place??
Thanks for your words, Amy!
My first reaction was that those are all clever and unique ways to get the word out about your book. Then second thoughts crept in. Is the weekend about the reunion or your book? If you use it as a publicity stunt, then that is where your focus needs to be. But I think it could backfire on you. I would say that to truly enjoy yourself, and be genuine and true, would be to worry less about the book. People will naturaly want to know what you have been up to and that is your in with the book. But leaving it in their rooms, while it would be a nifty little gift, makes it feel less authentic. Have the books there, and when you chat it up with friends over sips of Pinot you can mention that you have copies you would love to share. Would they care to partake? Opening the door that way would seem to have a better effect than leaving it in the hopes that it will be picked up and loved. I am not a novelist so I don’t know, but I know that I would rather have my wearable works of art loved by a few really ardent fans than fawned over by the masses who may not really appreciate it as much. I know that my art isn’t for everyone, and I am okay with that. I think that you will get more mileage from living every minute of your reunion for the sheer joy of it, rather than as a way to promote. Because by being real and having fun you are promoting it.
Hope that made sense to you. And my last advice is to do what feels right to you, regardless of anyone’s advice (including mine).
Enjoy the day!
Erin
I think leaving the free books may be a bit much. Baked goods and treats are traditional hotel goody fare, but unsolicited books/cd’s/etc may leave fellow classmates feeling a bit forced upon. Maybe bring some free copies and when you work the book into conversation and the other party is genuinely interested– you can offer him/her a free copy you have in your room. BUT– if you want to send free copies to family– that’s quite acceptable!
Hi Aidan,
I am looking at this from two angles. One, as a publicist and writer, I completely think leaving a copy in each former classmates hotel room is not only generous but it is an extremely effective way of ensuring that multiple people have a copy of your book literally placed in their hands. This is something that writers strive for when marketing their work. You want as many readers as possible because you are building your brand and it’s tough to have a brand if no one is reading your work. Also, keep in mind that the people who are given your book will recommend it to their friends, pass it along, spread the word and build buzz.
As a woman who has attended reunions and faced insecurities, I also see where your hesitation lies. The ever elusive fear of “bragging.” Well guess what? This is your reunion. You are a product of this school and look at the success you have created for yourself! If anyone is put off by your book being placed in their room, they are probably people who would be put off by you showing a picture of your babies or talking about your success as a lawyer. You can’t make everyone happy. This is something I am still learning. But I would shout it from the rooftops that you are a published author and what better place to do that then your college reunion.
And by the way, I don’t care what anyone says…PEOPLE LOVE FREE STUFF!
You have hit the nail on the head. I am thinking about this from two angles too. From the alumna angle and the author angle. As a grad, I want to go back to campus and have a grand old time with people I haven’t seen and not have a care in the world. As an author, a new one at that, I want to diplomatically spread the word about my literary baby. Goodness, this is hard. But a problem I am thrilled to have!
Hey Aidan…
I wouldn’t do it. Although I don’t have those issues at Reunions, and I do go every year (!) and can’t wait for my own 14th next month, I know a LOT of people who do have those kinds of issues and for whom the book on the pillow would be off-putting.
Do you have registration tents at your Reunions like we do? If so, I would think maybe you could have a display there? Then if someone wants a copy, he or she can take one. I also like the cocktail party idea, a preamble to the evening’s festivities? Short and sweet?
I don’t know… I do think that there are a lot of possibilities to explore but I don’t know that I would go with the hotel room idea myself. That said, if you do, I support you 110%. This is your book, and you can do no wrong in my book (ha! pun intended).
To be blunt, I’m a little afraid that your friend’s husband is right and that placing your book in hotel rooms might come off a little braggy. Sort of like the guy who shows up in his Maserati and puts the key on cocktail tables so everyone can see. But, I know you don’t mean to be that way with it (hence the post) so here’s my idea.
Safe to say that everyone in your class will make a stop at the campus bookstore at some point, right? To pick up a sweatshirt for the kids, a bumper sticker, whatever. Why don’t you think about giving the bookstore a supply of books and then asking them if they wouldn’t mind placing a sign on the counter (provided by you) that looks nice and says that a copy of your book is available for FREE (just ask!) to members of the class of 19xx. That way, interested parties can get them and you don’t look like you’re pushing it on anyone.
What do you think?
Hi Aidan, I love giving and receiving gifts so I vote for leaving a copy of the book in each hotel room. I’d see it as generous, an inspiration and the perfect conversation starter with anyone. I also think it’s a genius way to create a buzz. Who wouldn’t want to pick it up and read a few pages once they see it? Those who aren’t staying in the hotel would somehow hear about it from those who are and would want to get a copy for themselves. As for those who would have a problem with receiving a free book penned by one of them, that speaks volumes of their issues, not yours.
I’m with your friend’s husband – reunions can be intimidating enough. I think it might be nice to have the books on display at the Yale bookstore (prominently?) and let that be it. Your friends from school to whom you’re still connected will already know about the book, and they’ll tell folks.
Just enjoy the reunion as a ‘private person’ event, rather than a ‘public persona’ one.
That’s my 2 cents.
I’m looking forward to the book!!
what you do so well on your blog is convey a true sense of who you are: your intentions, hopes, insecurities… the gamut of things, both universal and particular, that makes you you.
so, what if you stuck with the plan of leaving your book in each hotel room but added a card with an “artist’s statement” of sorts? the statement would be as authentic as your blog posts, and could even gracefully (and with humor, if possible) address your conflicting thoughts about giving the book away and even about reunions in general.
maybe, given a little slice of your personality on a notecard, folks will interpret the gesture as intended and will be intregued enough to crack the book!
p.s. i like cindy s’ idea too!
A thought – instead of a copy of your book waiting for guests when they check into their room, could guests of the hotel receive a copy of your book when they check out? Give them a little something to enjoy on their trip home…
This way you avoid “intruding” on the guests, since LAY wouldn’t be in the room, AND it wouldn’t be distributed until the end of the weekend, so you won’t feel like you have to self-promote all weekend long.
And, ever diplomatically, he told me that people are nervous to return to their alma maters. That they invariably feel insecure and can’t help but compare their lives, their paths, their successes to those of their classmates. He said that he wasn’t sure he’d want to walk into his hotel room and see the published novel of a cohort.
I never felt nervous or jealous of my classmates. I have a number that I can point at and say that they did well. I went to high school and junior high with people who have gone to become pro athletes and national newscasters.
Their success has no bearing upon mine or any lack thereof.
If it was me I’d be relatively aggressive in trying to promote my book. Obviously you don’t want to be obnoxious, but you do want success. And if you consider how many “distractions” exist in life you can see why it is important to try to stay top of mind.
Aidan, First: Not time right now to read everyone else’s comments, so forgive me if this already has been said.
I think you should do it. And here’s why: I work in alumni relations, and during reunion weekends there are always a few alumni from classes who give lectures, sponsor events, etc. Why wait for your alma mater to “invite” you to be worth their focus. Just leave the books as a nice gesture. (And if self-promotion makes you uncomfortable, call it generosity. Not that it can’t be both.)
Also? I went to my 10th reunion and missed my 15th. But, what I have felt about all reunions, both mine and the ones that I witness for work, is that people may be nervous and self-conscious, but they also are looking for connections they might have missed during and since their college days. Give any insecurities something to stand on with your book on the bedside table.
This did not make nearly as much sense as it does in my head. Sorry. Only have 2.5 seconds left.
In short, leave the books.
And, enjoy your reunion!
Oh, I’m so glad my sister left a comment. I’ve been sitting here scrolling and scrolling through the comments trying to figure out where I stand on this. I feel wishy washy. Like on the one hand, absolutely, go for it. You need to promote, it’s never going to get any easier, just start now. On the other hand, my shy self comes back and I just don’t know. But since reading Jen’s comment–and knowing that she totally knows what she is talking about when it comes to the alumni of a very good college–I think I agree with her. Would you sign the books? I would sign them, maybe? A sweet note would suggest your gratitude if they read, perhaps…would make it personal. If not IN the book, then with the book? A little personal note with just the right words so people don’t think you are braggy in any way. Man, if it were me I may even write in the note how uncomfortable leaving the book makes me feel, but I’m really excited for it and hope that you can take the time to take a peek.
Um, yeah. I’m so not good at this stuff. Should have laid off the comment and just deferred to Jen.
Gooooood luck, Aidan. Your dilemma is well-deserved, at least. A book! A BOOK! You’ve written a book and it will be published and on bookshelves everywhere. And well, that’s just so wonderful. Congratulations on all of it!!!
Hi, Aidan:
I graduated from medical school 20 years ago and then went to Yale for my residency and stayed on as a faculty member. I had my 20-year reunion last year and had a blast. There was such excitement about seeing old friends and catching up on each other’s lives. Some of us had gone on to do research, one had become a chairperson of their respective department, one had decided to be a homemaker giving up practice altogether, and one had made a career change because of intense burnout.
Now, we physicians can be a competitive bunch, but never once did I feel any sense of any of us trying to one-up the other. In fact, many of us envied those who had shifted their priorities towards what felt important and truly mattered to them; a sign of growth as we get older, I believe. If I were one of your former classmates, I would be delighted to see your book on my pillow. It would be great fodder for discussion (the title of your book certainly lends itself to that).
From one Yalie to another, I say follow your instincts and do what felt right to you before any naysayers came along. It sounds like a great idea to me. Plus, who doesn’t appreciate receiving a book they might not otherwise have read. Who knows whom they will mention it to and so on and so on?
In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Have fun at the reunion!
Best wishes with your book launch and I think all of this is a good nervous as it relates to a fantastic opportunity.
Regarding your book idea in the hotel room–I see this as a calculated risk that is more positive than not. Putting the book in the hands of other attendees is an excellent chance for marketing and if someone feels uncomfortable–they simply won’t look at the book.
Good skill during this exciting time.
I would do it. I think it’s a great idea and a great way to pique interest in your book. I am trying to imagine if I came into my hotel room at a reunion and saw a classmate’s book. As a lover of writing myself, here’s what I would probably think:
1.) What a neat surprise! Fun to read on the plane, back home, etc.
2.) Sure, I might be a little jealous of you, but that wouldn’t make me go burn the book. I’d still read it and pass the name along to friends if I liked it (or even if I didn’t like it).
3.) I might not even know you. Depending on how many people you knew in college, they might not even know who you are. A little note from your publicist might help–something with your name and graduation year (so that they’ll know that you’re a classmate, in case they didn’t already know you), and something about how you (or the publicist–that might be a better way to make it seem less like the idea came from you) wanted to share this with your classmates [optional insertion of how college life further inspired you to be a writer].
I overanalyze EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, and I would only think that this was pretty cool. And though perhaps some of my point of view comes from the fact that I would ENJOY a free book in my hotel room, I do believe that nobody will think this is horrible. Rather, as I’ve expressed, I think they’ll be delighted about it.
Sorry–didn’t read the earlier comments before I posted.
Re: Katherine’s idea about doing it at the hotel checkout, I’d disagree because I think that this will detract from the book’s importance. I could see people shoving the book into their big bags and never looking at it again. Their having it at the beginning of the weekend gives them something to think about, conversations to start, etc.
And re: themsrevolution’s idea about giving a statement about how you’re conflicted, I also respectfully disagree. I think a statement might be a good idea, but NOT one about how you’re conflicted. I also have to note that I’m a very apologetic person, and I’ve heard from many people (though never seemed to learn, at least yet) that apologies only draw attention to something. Don’t make apologies for yourself!! Just do it and be proud of it. This is exciting! Good luck!
Go to the reunion. Eat. Drink. Laugh. Share. And share what matters most. Ask yourself this: Would that be the book? Or would that be yourself? My impression from reading your blog is there’s a lot more to you than 300-odd pages of paper. To make the reunion about this would be to sell yourself short.
OMG… I am so wishy washy on this. Back and forth. Back and forth I go. As a marketer, I’m all for leaving the books with a sweet, personal note in each one even honestly stating that you hope leaving it in the room doesn’t come off wrong. Not apologetic, just honest. Also as a marketer, I’m thinking, “You’re going to GIVE AWAY all those books? Take these people off the market to buy them? Just give them a gift certificate for Borders with a printout of the first chapter of your book to tease them and a note…” but that’s just the business side of me (and a terrible idea for a reunion!), not the emotional, personal side of me. And that side of me? Thinks there will be so many other opportunities to promote your book to so many MORE people. I think you should get the excitement out there about your book through the conversation and mingling that you do throughout the night. I’m SURE everyone will be thrilled and so proud of you… and then they’ll go buy the book on their own.
I’m going to hit, “submit” before I change my mind again… sheesh, this is so hard! All I know, is that whatever you choose, it will be right. You will make it right. And in the end, no matter what, you should be so proud.
I agree that you should take this opportunity to promote your book. Although it’s probably very tempting to just enjoy and be stress-free during your reunion, having a successful book is more important.
So this reunion will be about work for you – so give it your all. I am going to my 10-year college reunion this spring at the University of Chicago. I figure that makes me pretty good at putting myself in your classmates’ shoes. I’d strongly prefer going to a signing or a cocktail party. I’d be looking for cool activities, I’d be in the mood to support my classmates and I’d probably drag at least a few friends with me. If you were a hugely successful author by now, you’d have to worry about their insecurities a bit more, but you aren’t (yet). You are vulnerably asking your classmates for support and who doesn’t want to be helpful to a daring and brave soul. It feels good to be asked and it feels good to give the support.
While I’m sure either would be a successful events, your publicist should be able to help you prepare, prepare, prepare. Maybe send copies of the book in advance to a bunch of key classmates with a personal note/invitation tucked inside. I’d feel even more compelled to throw my support behind such a classmate.
I will grant you though it will be work – tough work — because either event could in fact turn out to be failures and embarrassing. But, so what? It will be a life experience to draw on when writing your new book, to blog about and to help you grow as a person. You’d survive – and given how successful your happier hour was (I personally loved it) you will have a great turn out.
Finally – don’t go with the book in the room. I’m not sure why (even after reading the other comments) but it doesn’t feel right, it gives me bad energy and I wouldn’t feel excited to become a fan of your book at the end of it. I do like having them on a table as a gift in the lobby.
BTW – I’ve already pre-ordered my copy☺
I think it’s very kind and generous of you to give people books! The way I look at it is how I look at alot of things in life. This was a big accomplishment for you and you should be proud…you are going to your reuinion and I think giving out your book is a great! If others are insecure that’s their problem. Personally I would think it’s pretty cool if I got one!
Great post.
Always Bumby
Go and have fun at your reunion without the stress of marketing your book. You are better than that. Really! You are wildly successful and your book is going to be a hit. Let it be for a weekend and enjoy yourself.
Aiden,
As big as this first project is for you, I think it won’t be in the eyes of your fellow Yalies and they will be very happy for you. But remember, these people have also acheived something in their lives (or they won’t come). I hope that thinking about this will let you relax a bit. This seems a gentle idea, which will also make your publisher happy. Good luck with everything.