Going Breadless
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Here’s the deal. My book hits shelves in twenty-eight-ish days. (Too lazy to count.) And in the off-chance that certain people come calling (Oprah! Martha! Barbara! Kelly! Kathy-Lee! Rachel! Tyra! Anyone! Ha!) and I have to make a spontaneous on-air appearance (double ha), I want to look good. Like Gisele good (triple and final ha).
And so. It’s time to deal. As per the advice and challenge of my friend Foodtrainer and nutritionista Lauren Slayton, I have agreed to boycott bread.
(A moment of silence, please.)
Onward. This is tough. I do not consume vast amounts of bread these days. But. I do enjoy a big fat bagel from time to time. And kids’ birthday parties? One of the main reasons for attending is the slices of pizza they hand out on SpongeBob plates. Yummers.
Enough of that deliciousness crap.
No bread.
For one month. One month is not long, right? Thirty days give or take a few. We can give up most anything for this period of time without ill-effect, right? Right?
I think so. And so. Here I go.
Is this about vanity or insanity? Likely a bit of both.
It’s important to tell you (and me) that I’m not going Atkins. I will not be seen at the local diner scarfing plates of bacon and blue cheese. No. I will be doing my normal fruit and veggies and protein and brown rice thing, but resisting the tantalizing bread basket (sob), the party pizza (whine), and even the fabulous Saturday scones at Alice’s Teacup (cue the tears).
It’s also important to tell you that I am looking for subtle, but sublime results. I am not a candidate for Biggest Loser. Thanks to grueling workouts with two tiny trainers, I am in pretty good shape. But I am also a human being. And a woman. Who wants to look her best. And feel her best. On a big day. On every day.
So no nutritionally-void bread-ish things. Just for one month. I can do this.
But why? Really, why? I told Sister C about this bread-free plan in a taxi yesterday. Which was not very nice because it was her birthday and who wants to hear about someone’s wacky-and-gratuitous dietary agenda on her birthday? Anyway, as I told her about this decision to boycott bread products, I realized something. And I said this something aloud.
“This is a scary time for me and I have very little control. This no-bread thing? It’s my attempt at controlling something.”
She nodded as we pulled up to Bergdorfs where we lunched and drank midday rose wine (no bread in there!) and spent money on things we didn’t need. (Skinny seersucker jeans for Toddler? Oui oui.)
So. Why am I dragging you into the shallow end with me? Scorning bread is hardly a meaningful and metaphorical topic. It’s barely worth writing about. I know this. And yet. There is something under the cosmic crust here. A challenge. To live without something. To buck up. To pare back. To be healthier.
And rumor has it that people who embark on these crazy endeavors do better when they have partners-in-crime.
So. This is when I blush behind my applesauce-stained screen and ask you to be mine.
Will you join me on my no-bread-brigade?
It’s just one month. Less than. On May 18th, in celebration of LIFE AFTER YES‘s cute little debut, you can march on over to your local bookstore, buy my book and then say yes to bread!
No? Not buying this? Fine. I get it. Bread is pretty yummy. And I am annoying. I understand.
But me? I’m sticking to this. Because I might have little to no control over how my literary baby fares, how many reviews come in or copies sell, but I can control what I put in my nervous little mouth. And so I will.
My track record on such endeavors? Terrible. I’ve done this very thing. And I lasted two days and promptly determined that quitting was delicious. The minute I make rules, I get a mischievous glint in my eyes (so says Husband) and want to break said rules. So we will see how this goes.
And if it goes well (Optimism, say hey!), I will look fetching in my cat-hair-covered yoga pants as I walk to Barnes & Noble on May 18th, trusty Starbucks cup in hand, to score several copies of a certain book that is currently #212,219 in the Amazon Sales Ranking (yay!).
(I know this post is prime evidence of my insecurity. I know. There is a reason my blog has its name.)
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- Any interest in joining me in my month sans bread? Twitter buds @barbaraoneal, @Trishryan, @jennyonthespot, and @abbyisawkward are already quasi-onboard! (We can all commiserate because I bet we are going to get a bit snippy without proper carbs!)
- Have you ever embarked on a diet or fitness regimen during a time when you were anxious and had little control over certain important variables in your life?
- Are you a good dieter or do you fashion grand plans from which you veer almost immediately?
- How much bread do you regularly consume? Have you ever gone without it? Did you feel or look better?
ILI DAILY CHARM: A NEW FRIEND
We all know that writing can be the most solitary of endeavors. But blogging? It quite literally connects us to others. And, along the way, relationships – even friendships – are formed and forged. One of my very favorite new blogs MWF Seeking BFF is all about friendship. Its author Rachel is a talented (and soon-to-be published!) writer and keen observer. In her post today A Blog Eat Blog World? Not Really Rachel celebrates the inclusiveness of this cybercommunity. Check out my friend Rachel’s brand new baby blog. You can thank me later 
If I thought the giving up of bread was the key I would so join you. Alas, I buy into the whole fibre will actually help you lose wait debate and I’m not so sure.
But secretly, I’m trying to come up with my own plan to shed a few so that I can feel better when I come to New York for BlogHer, because the thighs and the butt can really leave a lasting impression.
I am not sure that giving up bread is “the key” either. In fact, I think there is no “key.” But it is a little step. At gesture at better health. And we will see how long I last! I think part of me thinks that by putting my goal in writing here, I will revere it for longer. We shall see!
Yes, BlogHer. I must say that I am so looking forward to meeting you and so many others whom I have encountered in this world. I am also beyond curious about how it will be to actually see everyone after so many months of glimpsing people only through their words. This digitality vs. physicality question deserves its very own post, don’t you think?
Christine just cracks me up. The thighs and the butt and the lasting impression. I.Love.It.
I love big fat bagels and doubt I could give them up. Does your one-month diet include not drinking Guinness? If so, what a shame, what a shame.
Sorry, Aidan. I am still on my attempt to train and run a race every month of the year. No cutting out any source of carbs or fiber for me.
Tempting. Does spelt bread count? No, seriously–I just bought some yesterday in my own attempt to de-carb (15 g/slice v 22g/slice). When I was pregnant with my first baby I had gestational diabetes and had to severely limit my carbohydrate and sugar intake, until basically the point of elimination. Not only did I end up memorizing the carb count of almost every food out there, but I learned that cutting out carbs does drastically affect weight and bloat (at least for my body). It was easy to be disciplined when I had to count carbs for my unborn baby. I was careful about nutrition for really the first time in my life. Alas, the realities of life and tempting scones staring at me at Starbucks and the ease of throwing spaghetti in a pot of water after a long day have won out.
Anyway — thanks so much for the link! I will mull your challenge over (though am not quite sure it fits with half marathon training!) as I will myself to pass up Honeynut Cheerios for breakfast in favor of a smoothie. Maybe.
It’s so interesting how discipline comes – and rather naturally – when it is for the sake of our little ones. Baby had a pretty severe allergy when I was nursing and I had to cut all dairy and soy (think: milk, butter, everything processed) out of my diet. I couldn’t eat in restaurants and had to cook every morsel I put in my body. (For me, this is no small feat). But now? I cook once every six months
I think spelt is supposed to be amazing. Maybe Lauren will weigh in here about it… And I think that training for a half-marathon is a much bigger step toward health than cutting out bread, right?
I don’t know – did you see the NYTimes piece on Sunday about exercise vs. calories? (has been #1 on most-emailed for a few days). It has made me really think about what I’m actually eating (gone, I fear, are the days when I could eat anything I wanted if I just went for a run). My own experience with gestational diabetes makes me echo Lauren that you may not know
how a particular food (e.g., bread) impacts your body until you eliminate it. Exercise or not.
P.S. I have been known to exclaim happily (usually while partaking), “There is nothing like an occasion that merits delong when the sun is out!”
That should say “drinking” when the sun is out. Damn iPhone auto spell.
I have to chime in (after all I’m a “nutritionista” thanks Aidan). As a Foodtrainer, I am clearly pro fiber. And before the pro-bread brigade sends me hate mail, let’s say that a lot of the bread (bagels, wraps, faux-whole wheat toast, pizza crust the list is long) people eat isn’t grainy and wholesome. Second, for short term pursuits many people respond really well to one “no” rule (think lent) versus trying to navigate that gray area of moderation. And finally, the key with a “no” is to make sure you don’t replace it with too many yesses to other things (rose wine at lunch). Good luck Aidan, it’s ok to validate vanity!
For the record, I do not usually imbibe wine at lunch. It was Sister C’s birthday and we indulged in a festive girls’ lunch with Mom. About that, I have zero regrets! This is life and there are things to celebrate with a little midday clinking
Ay yi yi. After stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office and being forced to accept that the dry cleaners is not shrinking my clothes, but that my thighs are getting bigger, I am working on sticking on one glass of wine Monday – Thursday (with noted exception of post-kickball game beers) and not having my usual free-for-all of eating whatever I want over the weekends.
I do not eat a ton of bread, but I do eat some pasta (what? It’s in Lean Cuisines) and I’m not sure I could cut that out of my diet practically, at the moment. I don’t eat a lot of actual bread though, and the pasta I eat is all whole wheat. That’s better right??? I don’t really eat cereal either. I have a hard time with diets that cut any one thing completely out. I am more of an everything in moderation person because if I tell myself I can’t have one particular thing, it is way more likely that I will binge out on it in a moment of weakness.
The only time a diet has legitimately made me feel better was when I cut out processed food and cooked lots of veggies and lean protien. Cutting out the processed food nixed bloat and just gave me more energy. Sadly, I’m lazy and have little free time, so I am back on the 1/2 processed food (lean cuisines, sigh) and the rest healthy fresh stuff that doesn’t need to be cooked.
Unfortunately, “no wine” works faster than “no bread.”
But it’s even less fun.
Can’t give up my bread, but I’ll be ready to break bread with you to celebrate your debut novel’s success!
I’ll sort of join you. I’ll pass on the bread basket and pizza until your book debuts. And perhaps the chocolate covered raisins my coworker keeps bringing in… I’m trying to cut back anyway and pizza has to be my number 1 weakness.
Food has to be the hardest thing for me to control. I’ve always exercised to some degree, but the results do not show until I cut out the crap.
I probably eat more bread products than I should. My dad just got lab results that said he had high triglycerides, so I know I should keep the carb count in check. The most weight I’ve ever lost on a diet was when I did South Beach in highschool. I lost 7 lbs sticking to a diet full of lean meats and green veggies. I find that my biggest obstacle to following it now is lack of time (and desire) to prepare home-cooked dishes.
I understand the desire to make a rule and stick to it, just because you can. I gave up all sweets for the entire year of 2008. No candy, not even mints. No breakfast pastries, not even muffins if they were too “desserty.” No pie, cake or ice cream. No brownies, cupcakes or cookies. Nothing. This was hard for me because I’m the kind of person who thinks every meal should end on a sweet note. But I perservered and for that I was rewarded with . . . NOTHING. I didn’t look any better in December than I had in January. I must have been replacing the sweets with something, but I really didn’t think I was at the time. For Lent that year I eliminated cheese from my diet too. Now THAT was rough!
Good luck with your bread boycott. I hope it yields the results you want.
Ha! The very moment I make a rule for myself I can’t do ANYTHING but break it. The 15-year-old rebel in me comes out and won’t have any of it.
As for joining you, well my birthday is tomorrow and this is my last week in California, so…..
But maybe once I’m back in NYC!
I admire your committment, Aidan. And it is okay to admit that part of it (a lot of it?) is about looking good. The way you are doing it – with a knowledgeable food trainer – seems like a smart and healthy way.
I have been feeling for a while now like I really need to take control of my diet. My children eat healthier than I do for the most part. I eat a balanced diet- plenty of veggies and fruits, almost zero fried foods- but I crave, crave, crave sweets.
For me, and what is probably true for others, if my physical appearance isn’t reflecting poor choices (i.e. weight gain) then I tend to not change. And although my clothes fit fine, I am not doing everything I could/should. Plus, clothes and swimsuits are two completely different things. Yikes!
By the way, I had never read The Bread Boycott post before. I just did and the sarcasm in that last paragraph is hilarious! I can totally relate and I love it!
You’ve inspired me. I am in! Although I am hitting Canyon Ranch on 5/16 (hooray!) so I am going to go back to bread (I imagine it will be healthy there in Arizona?) when I land in Tuscon. Here I go…Throwing out my english muffin with peanut butter for a banana.
I hope sister C told you about her weight loss challenge with the Berry Family (more of a get fit challenge). She has money on the line..that is what helps me get into a challenge! But sorry, I will still be eating bread this month, HA! Good Luck with your challenge A!!
Luckily I already rarely eat bread. My sister is gluten intolerant and eats most meals with us, so bread has become a thing of the past. I haven’t noticed much difference but it’s one less thing to worry about.
I’m a new reader on this blog (found it last night! Loves it!) but I’ll give up bread with you! For me, I don’t think it will be thaaaat hard–but if you said chocolate, I might be renegotiating.
I am not sure I can go cold turkey on my carbs but what if I made a pact with you to drink two bottles of water a day (48 ounces)? I find whenever I consciously do that, I eat less junk and my skin looks renewed and glowy. Sad that I have to force myself to do that, given I know the positive effects. If I had a blog, I’d post about that for sure
!
Totally understand where you’re coming from, and you know I’ll be reading Life After Yes, but er…I’ll still be eating bread. I run four miles a day pretty much just so I can do so.
wow good for you! I doubt that you need it but I would look at it like I looked at my wedding. Why not look your best if you are going to be photographed and/or on tv! This is an exciting time in your life! Also…my friend gave me this advice…Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels! so true right? good luck!
Having just wrapped up my own nutritional experiment, I’m currently enjoying a diet without restrictions. So I won’t be joining you on the bread boycott. But I do have some other questions.
I say all of this out of curiousity, not judgment, because I’m quite confident that if I had a book coming out I’d be feeling quite like you do, but… I find it fascinating that in response to the launch of something that is the exclusive product of your mind, you are focusing so much on preparing your body. The success of your book will depend entirely on the book, and likely not at all on your looks.
As I think about my favorite authors, only a few of them could I pick out of a lineup, and the ones I could ID are not very attractive at all. My affection for them depends entirely on their words. And I suspect that sentiment holds true for most authors. If looks mattered in the publishing world Stephen King would have tanked and Giselle would be atop the NYT bestsellers list.
I wonder if you might also benefit from a prep plan for your mind? Reading up on all manner of current events. Polishing your answers to potential interview questions. Making sure you’re feeling quick-witted and razor sharp.
Again, facing the impending launch of my own (non-existent) book I would be banning soda and cheese and who-knows-what-else. So I don’t judge your diet. Additionally I absolutely believe that looking good helps us feel good and when thrust into such a bright spotlight for the first time I understand wanting to look and feel your best. But perhaps you can take solace in the fact that even if your bread ban doesn’t stick; even if your highlights are growing out; even if you have spinach in your teeth and muffin top (none of which would ever be true, I realize, but play along here); even if all those things were true, they wouldn’t harm your book one bit. We are here for your words.
Now, with all that said, I wish you the best of luck going breadless, and trust that you’ll look fabulous at all of your launch events regardless of your carb intake.
Hi Aidan
No way could I join you, I love my bread.
Thought initially that you were taking the Atkins route, low carb high protein, but no… just a test of willpower.
I’m not even sure that I could do it even if I tried.
Bacon sandwiches, eggs on toast, toast on its own with real butter… no way could I do it.
Good luck… hope your willpower passes the test.
Aidan, I’ve tried this before but couldn’t do it. So, I came up with a modified rule: no bread or wine or dessert. I don’t have all three except once or twice a year. I rarely order dessert and I drink wine maybe twice a week at the most. But bread, I not only have to have it if it’s at the table but I buy it, eat it and love it. I think I’m in OK shape and practice yoga a few times a week. But if I ever have a book hit the stores, then I’d have to re-think my loophole-y diet.
Belinda, I’m going to steal your rule! Except for me, it’s beer – I blame my husband for leading me down that road. I think that one could work for me. It’s all about compromise and tradeoffs, right?
When I quit smoking, instead of looking at it as “I can’t smoke”, I told myself that it just wasn’t an option at the present time. I kept extending my definition of “the present time” until I no longer thought about smoking cigarettes again. It worked smashingly, and now I’ve applied the concept to not eating after 8pm. It’s not that I can’t ever eat after 8pm, It’s just not an option for me right now…get it? It really works! So, you’re out for lunch w/sister(s) and they pass the basket of fresh, warm bread, and you just say, “I’m sorry, that’s just not an option for me today.”
Then you could really annoy them (as it would my sisters) and add “,and it may never need to be an option for me again, but you go ahead and split my share.”
First I must say THANK YOU for the charm. So kind of you.Especially since you were indeed one of the people I was thinking of as I wrote it. That “Let me take you under my wing, baby blog” comment. I was hearing you in my head!
Also, I totally feel you on this post. When I got my book deal I was literally like, well I better lose weight in two years. Just in case. I know, crazy but normal, I guess. But the cameras will come a calling, and bread or no bread, you’ll look great! So excited to curl up in bed with my copy.
Funny post! But nope – won’t give up bread. I eat healthy bread with whole wheat and necessary fiber. And tasty. I’m a believer in well-round and nutritious meals. And when you deprive yourself totally of something you love? You crave it more.
(Perhaps you should consider allowing yourself 1 “healthy bread item” a day if you wish?)
But tell you what. I’ll give up Double Mocha Chocolate Cake. Not exactly my daily (or weekly or monthly) fare – but will that work?
(Now I’ll start craving chocolate cake…)
“The cosmic crust” – love that!
Aidan, I admire you and thank you for sharing this with us. I’ve reached that magical (cursed) age when I can no longer eat what I want and work out a little to maintain my weight. It takes work, and that is something I’m still struggling to accept. I’m in a bit of denial, I suppose.
And this is all made worse by the fact that I LOVE to bake: homemade breads, croissants, scones, pizza crust, you name it. So a beloved hobby is tied to my weight challenge, and there are only so many friends I can give baked goods to.
Can I meet you halfway? I’ll cut back on bread – just one serving, one treat a day – and try it for a month. Despite Lauren’s comment that halfway doesn’t work as well, that’s all I’m willing to do for now!
cool blog! come visit us at BGSK–we were former ivy-leaguers, and now cooking in the real world!
I already threw out the wine. I cannot throw out the bread. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Not really.
BUT YOU can do it! I know you can!
Passover ended a few weeks back so I am back on the bread wagon. But I will give you my support in your refraining from the bread carb monster.
I wanted to say, YES! I’ll go breadless with you.
But I just can’t. Bagels, I cannot quit you.
How about this, though? I’ll actually stick to my nutrition and exercise goals for the next month. I need motivation and this seems like as good a reason as any. Well, this and the fact that my in-laws are total fat-ists and we have to travel with them in June. I do not want to give them any ammo where my weight is concerned. So I have two good reasons – I’ll support you and avoid being judged (at least for my weight) by the in-laws. Ha.
I’ll definitely buy Life After Yes, too. Looking forward to reading it!
I don’t eat bread often and don’t miss it but I do eat a lot of white rice since I’m Chinese and grew up eating it at every meal. I have to eat a meal with some kind of carb now, whether it be rice or noodles. A great alternative are Shiratake noodles (0 cal and 0 carb) which are made from water soluble fiber so they are basically flavorless and just absorbs the flavors of the sauce or broth you put it in it. It also makes you super full. =)
I am vegetarian and so giving up bread would be a definite challenge! I love my garden variety black bean burgers and my veggie sandwiches. I try to eat well and exercise regularly, but do indulge now and again. Good luck on going breadless!
I’m joining you…in a modified way. I’m cutting out diet coke! That’s my addiction.
Oh Aidan. I love it when you write about how your stick-to-it-tiveness (dang, how the heck DO you spell that?) is not the bestest. Every time you mention that in a post I think, “Phew, there is someone else out there with horrible follow through.” Because I’ve got the worst. And yet, my dear, you are Ivy League educated, passed the bar, became a lawyer, quite lawyer-dom, wrote a book, and now PUBLISHED A BOOK. So wait a minute…this bread thing, you can do this! You can you can you can.
I wish I could join you. My body really needs to join you. Hmm, should I be giving this some serious thought? But bread? Really? BREAD? For a month? OY, woman. Good freaking luck!
I’m having one heck of a time getting rid of the sugar in my diet so don’t think I could do bread. The funny thing is, I have been able to avoid sugar for months on end. Until now. Something about my husband being gone all the time… Still, the time is now.
But, I will be celebrating with you when your book comes out!
It won’t be that bad – trust me! I cut out bread because it didn’t feel right for me and switched to mini pasta bakes and rice creations with salad for take in lunches, it got me thinking creatively about what to include, I now eat way more vegies, discovered what fruit goes with salad (rock melon doesn’t) and what salad goes with fruit, I look for in season fruit and veg too, which I never did before. After six months I now splurge on a sourdough grain baguette on weekends.
I may do it, Aidan. I eat such godawful bread anyway – those skinny, disgusting one-point flat bun things only. And I am not a big bread lover anyway (of course, it might just be the bread I’m eating!)
Let me try it one day. And then another day. We’ll take it from there!
Right this very second, I have a loaf of bread cooling on the counter and a loaf of bread rising in the oven. So. But I could stand to evaluate my diet of late. Must.Stop.Eating.Kid.Food.
Good luck! Keeping my fingers crossed re: Oprah.
Just catching up on my favorite blog after a week of vacation. I can’t eat dairy for at least another year because of my baby if that makes you feel better!! No ice cream, butter, cheese, etc. etc. One month in comparison is nothing, you can do it, I have faith!!!