Health Is Wealth
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On Sunday morning at 2am, I woke up. Maybe I had to pee. I don’t really remember. But I never fell back asleep. My mind raced. My heart pounded. I didn’t feel good. Husband and I had consumed a decadent Indian dinner and I’d had too much wine. Suddenly, my mind was alert. And not in a good way. In a cruel way. I tried to imagine sheep jumping, but instead I saw lists of things undone. I felt a whoosh of worries. Looming dates and deadlines flurried through the fog.
In the hours between 2am and 7am when we woke up to lead the girls on their Living Room Easter Egg Hunt, I thought about many things. And about one thing – one important thing – in particular. That thing?
Taking charge.
Vague. I know. Taking charge of what? Well, everything. I am a control freak after all. A big one. But in this instance, I was thinking about something more specific. That something?
Health.
I want to take charge of my health. For the past several years (since becoming a mother – ding! ding!), I have been distracted by things. Glorious things.
My girls. How they are growing and thriving. How healthy they are. How happy they are.
My marriage. How it is growing and thriving. How healthy it is. How happy it is.
My career. How it is growing and thriving. How healthy it is. How happy it is.
But what about me? The Me that includes a body?
As I come up on the one-year anniversary of Ivy League Insecurities (Saturday! Thanks for the reminder, Gale!), I realize something. I have spent the past twelve months very much focused on toning mental flab. On remembering how to think critically and write honestly. And these days, I am feeling intellectually fit and strong.
But.
I am not as healthy as I could be. Not nearly. I do not sleep enough. I do not make much time to work out. I flirt with a healthy diet, but often end up eating my girls’ fries. I drink way too much coffee and way too little water. And probably a bit much white wine.
A month ago, my very good friend was in town. She also has two young girls. We were chatting about how everything changes when we have kids, how in many ways as the stakes rise, the ultimate goal becomes far simpler – to stay healthy and live longer. This brilliant friend with a bevy of interests personal and professional said something that sliced me:
“I just want to be alive and be around for my girls.”
Several weeks ago, I attended a birthday party. One of Toddler’s friends was there with his father and I asked where his wife was. And he told me, pride and love glistening in his eyes, that she just had a double mastectomy after having her ovaries removed this past fall. Apparently, she tested positive for the breast cancer gene. And now? Now she is taking charge of her health.
About two months ago, I gave up Splenda. And I am proud of myself. Because though it is a tiny step, it is a step and stepping is good. Yesterday, I took my first yoga class. And as I “flowed” (ha) in and out of foreign poses, my body shook and sweat. It felt hard. It felt good. Next week, I will meet once more with my friend and health guru Lauren Slayton to talk about all of this. Because, suddenly, thankfully, I mean business.
Emerson said, “The first wealth is health.”
I sit here, the humble protagonist in the opening scene of a new day, writing words about something I want. A different kind of wealth.
For my little girls. For Husband.
For me.
Because at the heart of all of the cosmic clutter and stuff, all the to-do lists and daily anxieties, we are mortal beings. Days are not infinite. Life is not a guarantee. Health is not a given. But health is something we can work for, and prioritize. And so I will. When?
How about now?
Today. Today is always a good place to start.
______________________________
- Do you consider yourself to be a healthy individual?
- Have there been any wake-up calls for you that have forced you to reevaluate your own lifestyle? (Death or illness of loved ones, health scares for yourself?)
- What do you think is the biggest impediment to taking charge of our health? (Lack of time? Lack of financial resources? Focus on careers and/or kids? Laziness? Habit? Denial?)
- Do you ever wake up in the night drowning in a proverbial pool of worries?
- Have you given up anything lately in an effort to take charge of your health?
- To the extent that many of us cannot afford yoga classes and nutritional consultations, do you having “a healthy life” is part and parcel of privilege? Or can we all “afford” to be healthy?
- What is your biggest health goal at the moment? (Weight loss? Energy? Disease Prevention? Longevity?)
ILI DAILY CHARM: A THANK YOU
I woke up this morning to a lovely treat. Heather of the wonderful blog Theta Mom has written a thoughtful post today about identity wherein she names me (!) – along with another blogger (Jenny Mac of Let’s Have a Cocktail – I am off to check her out shortly!) – as someone who inspires her as a writer.
Thank you, Heather! I am thrilled to count myself among your blogeagues (just made that up) and to be a member of your wonderful Theta Mom Community. As I sit here – watching Baby smear yogurt on the coffee table, awash in pre-publication anxiety (six weeks, baby!) – your words mean far more than you know. Thank you.
Everyone struggles and...
Your post is very timely for me. About four weeks ago I cut back on refined sugars and I felt a little bit better. Starting today I’m cutting out all refined sugars. Husband is picking up my new bicycle today. The new bike will allow me to ride while sitting straight. We’ve switched from a YMCA membership to a country club membership so I can swim laps in a pool without being pushed out by the youth swim team.
Your friend is very wise. I want to be alive for my children too. In addition to nurturing our children and our marriages, we need to nurture ourselves.
I have to admit, I hate working out. But I do. And another thing I hate to admit: I don’t do it for me. I do it for my daughter.
As I sweat and cuss under my breath, I think about how my being healthy would mean:
1. I will be around a lot longer for her
2. She will see my example and hopefully follow suit, and be healthy herself
3. That maybe someday when she’s old enough, we can do yoga together
Justine – Welcome to ILI!
Your comment reminds me of something deceptively simple and very important. We don’t need to “like” everything we do. Sometimes, in fact, it is important for us to do things we hate (eat certain diets, exercise, etc) because it is good for the people we love. Sometimes, I think I (and many of us?) fall into a very self-indulgent way of thinking where I assume that we must enjoy all our our moments or try to. But I am thankful for this reminder that there are sacrifices that must be made, and moments that must be surrendered, to things, and goals, bigger than ourselves.
My first thought: Good for you, Aidan! My second thought: Boy is this a major issue for me.
I’ve always been pretty healthy, but (like many new moms) after my son was born I struggled to work exercise into my weekly routine. Nursing kept the extra pounds off, but I could feel myself softening. Eventually my husband and worked out a schedule that allowed us each time to get to the gym, and I’ve been so much happier since. I feel stronger, less stressed, and more independent.
Also, as you know, I recently spent a month as a vegetarian and reading about our food supply system and its pitfalls. I finally feel like I have really harnessed all the elements of good health. Now I just have to keep myself disciplined enough to continue implementing them.
Wonderful topic!
I have been considering health a lot in the past week or so. Maybe it has something to do with the beginning of Spring. The extended daylight. The emergence of shorts (i.e bare legs) from the closet. I don’t know.
My oldest just returned to swimming lessons after a year-long hiatus. My neighbor and I have started walking a couple miles in the evenings with the babies in tow.
A few years back I was doing a lot of yoga. I didn’t realize how good it made my body feel until I stopped. You are making me want to get back into it.
If only I could change it to 25 hours in a day.
This is a constant battle for me. I mean, truly CONSTANT. My weight especially. The food I like is bad. Really bad. I like fast food, I like crappy box meals like Hamburger Helper. I hate eating a salad for dinner. I want to drink a coke when everyone else has coffee. But enough is enough.
I have been battling this for the past 6 years. I am 24 now and it seems that the moment I got out of high school my body decided to pack on every last bit of weight it possibly could. I am ashamed of my size, I hate buying clothes with that number on the tags. I don’t want my husband to see me changing clothes. Ridiculous.
So I have given up the coke, and the fast food. And I am working on being healthier. I am going to make myself at least get on the treadmill at night while watching tv. I can walk and watch at the same time, why is it so hard to get up off the couch?
Having two 9 month olds makes me really tired, but at some point I have to put that excuse down and do it for them. Even if I am not quite ready to do it for me.
Sorry to ramble Aidan!
Heather – Hang in there. Healthy isn’t easy. It’s hard. That’s why so many people in our country are fighting the same battle that you describe. It is wonderful that you recognize your goals and are working to achieve them even when you don’t want to. I applaud your efforts. Keep it up!
Never apologize for rambling on ILI. I think truth comes with rambling and I know that when I find myself rambling, I am usually dancing with something that is meaningful. That said, I am with Gale here. I applaud your efforts – and all of our efforts – to be healthier. Because it is not easy. All we can do (I think) is tweak the way we live our days and slowly make better decisions. It is so hard because often the very creatures that make it so impossible to prioritize our health are the very creatures whom we want to live a long time for…
I do consider myself to be healthy. I do my best to sleep at least 7 hours a night and although I do not workout traditionally, I eat very healthy and try to minimize my consumption of processed foods. My pitfalls are the occasional cigarette and drinking too much. I try to ride my horse 4 times a week, which helps keep my muscles toned. I have low cholesterol, low blood pressure and my body fat percentage and BMI are low and healthy. I don’t own a scale, so I judge my weight/fitness on how my clothes fit. I could tell that I was losing muscle tone when I barely rode for a month because my clothes got more snug. So now that I am back into riding more regularly, I feel better.
I haven’t had any wake up calls really. My parents raised us eating very healthy, no sodas, no junk food, no fast food, no sugar cereals, etc., so I am very used to that way of living. It also means that I only have the occasional craving for junk and don’t feel too bad about it when I give in.
I think the biggest impediment to a taking charge of our health is time, which is an extension of a focus on my career. And honestly, I hate working out. I hate it. HAAAAATTTTTE IT.
I do not think that those living in poverty can afford to eat healthy like the rest of us who are fortunate enough to be able to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. I volunteered at a food bank this week and everything that goes into those boxes is prepared food. High sodium, not a lot of protein or vitamins. Sure they give out some fresh food, but it’s not enough, because it’s expensive. And it requires preparation, which requires knowing how to prepare it. Cooking is a middle class luxury as far as I’m concerned. We take the ability to go to the grocery store, get fresh ingredients and cook in our fancy pots and pans for granted. I do. I know I do. And that is a shame.
Niki – I remember my days at the law firm when I was surrounded by overworked and exhausted souls. Everyone, it seems, was sacrificing their health on a daily basis – working insane hours, subsisting on a diet of takeout and restaurant food, drinking copious amounts of caffeine and booze to keep going. For me, this was prime evidence of corporate culture hampering health.
I think you are right that it is a luxury to choose to adopt a healthy diet, to make the changes I discuss here, to go to the grocery and grab healthy fare. This question of inequity in access to health is too big of a topic to explore here – and I am not equipped to do so – but it is an important concern.
Somewhere in between getting married and starting my blog, my gym habit got sacrificed. I’m so glad you wrote about this because I’ve been thiking about it nonstop recently. I used to be a 5-day a week runner. For like 6 years. Then I got married, my father-in-law died and carb-laden shiva ensued, then I dove into my book proposal, then shoppping it around to publishers (torture that had me couch-ridden) then the blog and constant BFF-making attempts. Somewhere in all of that it became clear that something had to be sacrificed… there just wasnt enought time for everything. And since I couldn’t/didn’t want to sacrifice anything that other people were counting on me for, working out got thrown to the wayside. It’s the classic problem– wanting to be there for others so not being there for myself. In the last few days I’ve dragged my ass back to yoga, and this morning somehow found myself on the treadmill. I know it’s all about balance, but that’s easier said then done. But like you say, baby steps.
Sometimes, in the whirlwind of the parenting job and all other jobs and relationships, we forget (or dismiss, or put off) issues of our own health. (Been there, done that, paying the price now.)
We need to remember that if we aren’t mindful of our own physical health, we won’t be around for our kids. Not in the energetic ways that we would like to be. And that energy and physical stamina is just as important when they are tweens and teens as when they’re little.
Important post.
BLW – You make a subtle, but priceless point here. This is not just about the total days of our lives, of how long we live, but how we live while we are around. If we do not put our health – and ourselves – first, we cannot be the awake, energized, and engaged people we want to be. We cannot follow dreams, and raise kids, and climb career ladders if we do not sleep, and eat well, and stay strong and smiling. This is so important to remember.
Good for you, Aidan. I’m glad you are focused on this very important goal.
But….do you ever feel like there are just too many important things to focus on? I rarely feel like I can balance all the things in life that are important to me: health, marriage, friends, family, work, writing, joy, etc. Whenever I’ve got one under control, another will flare up. Plus, I hate the word ‘balance.’
Yes, I do feel like there are just too many important things to focus on. I feel this a lot. In my heart of hearts, I know that it is not possible to focus on all of these things 100% at once. And yet, I keep trying. I can’t decide whether it’s worse to keep trying – and necessarily failing – or to give up trying? My gut says it’s better to keep scrambling and striving and stumbling than to admit defeat.
This phrase perfectly describes my approach: “I flirt with a healthy diet.” Yes, I flirt too. But I’m afraid I’ve reached that point where my aging metabolism has slowed down and I can no longer eat what I want and luckily keep my figure.
As often happens in Spring, I am super eager to get out and start some serious biking. Winter working out in the gym (a basement gym at that!) is painful. Fresh air and sunshine does wonders for my workout, not to mention my soul.
If there is one thing worth doing when you are awake between 2am and 7am it is making decisions about taking charge of your health. Or doing the crossword. I tend to do neither and just throw a hissy fit because I can’t sleep.
I have been known to stare obsessively at the clock radio and throw a silent hissy fit on my side of the bed from time to time too. Interestingly, when I couldn’t sleep on Saturday night I got past the panic phase pretty quickly and realized that it was actually nice to have a stretch of silence and solitude in which to contemplate my big questions. I am realizing that these odd and unfortunate hours are often when I do my best, most heartfelt, thinking.
I need to get healthier for my family as well. Ever since the birth of my second child, I am still hanging onto some unwanted pounds – I need to be more proactive about it all.
And I appreciate the link back, although totally unnecessary. You know how much I love your blog.
xoxo
I think the reality is that all of us could – and should – get healthier for ourselves and for our families. But the reality is also that we are human and busy and stretched. How to infuse a good and realistic amount of health and awareness into our lives while maintaining our commitments and crazy schedules? I don’t pretend to know, but I think it is worth thinking about.
I am thrilled to see some of your loyal ladies popping by here. Thank you!
I made my way here from Theta Mom today (thanks!) not quite sure what to expect other than a well written blog. I was kinda knocked upside the head with your post. A lot of it are things that have been going round and round in my head recently… being healthier. having happy kids. having a healthy happy hubby. But nothing I have made concrete advancements on improving. I eat like crap (luckily I have good genes and dont fall into the over weight category). I dont do as much with the kids as I could. I let them occupy themselves often.
Anyway- sorry for rambling. but thank you for your inspirational words today. I dont know if this is the norm for your blog- or if I just got lucky- but I intend to come back and find out!
Welcome to ILI! I am so thrilled Heather sent you this way. As I said to the other Heather (of Brace Yourselves) above – never apologize for rambling. I don’t think truth comes with a maximum word count. I am glad that my words today “knocked [you] upside the head.” I take that as a profound compliment. On this blog, I try to ask tough and universal questions that are not always comfy, but force us to think and examine and evaluate ourselves and our lives. I do very much hope you continue to pop by here and I look forward to checking out your digital digs as well!
As an aside, I think you and I fall into a similar category. Despite falling into a reasonably unhealthy diet from time to time, I maintain a desirable weight. But I actually think there is something problematic about this (not that I am complaining!). I think that sometimes I see that my jeans fit and then lazily assume all is okay. But I don’t think appearance and clothing size is always the best measure.
In any event, now I am the one rambling!
I am a health nut, but I struggle at times. I love yoga, and I’ve found a health club that actually offers yoga-studio-worthy classes for a (relatively) affordable monthly rate. However, I understand that not everyone can swing a gym membership. Walking (or running) is nearly free, and assuming one’s body cooperates, it can be done just about anywhere. I like to mix up my exercise to be both social and independent/introspective. I get so much out of both!
Welcome to ILI, Emma! I also get so much out of exercise and every time I start working out again, I wonder why I ever stopped. But life does have a way of interfering and obscuring even our clearest visions. You make a good point that everyone can get outside for a walk or a run regardless of financial status. Maybe there really are no excuses?
Thank you for popping by. I look forward to checking out your blog!
No, I don’t consider myself a healthy person. I mean, yes, I AM healthy (which I am extremely grateful for!), but I don’t really spend energy on being as healthy as I could. I really need to dedicate time to picking out the right groceries, to finding new recipes, to walking and getting some cardio. I have been letting all these things slide while I’ve been distracted with — I love how you phrase this! – glorious things. Thanks for this reminder and extra little virtual push in the right direction!
Welcome to ILI!
I think that we so often lose fact of the track that there is a difference between not being sick and being healthy. Obviously, many of us here are so fortunate to have our health, but I do think there are little things all of us could do to enhance to healthfulness of our lives and selves. I am realizing that health is much like happiness insofar as no one is perfectly healthy or perfectly happy. We can all stand to be healthier and happier, right? I see this as a good thing to the extent that it thrusts upon us the ability to change for the better.
A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer the week before his daughter was born. Within a year, he was dead. He was healthy, strong, fit. It’s a constant reminder to me that you never know what tomorrow brings, that it’s imperative to do the best you can for yourself and your family today.
I have to know–what’s the problem with Splenda?
A belated reply, but I don’t know that there is anything particular that is wrong with Splenda. My fear – and a fear that is underscored in some of the nutritional literature – is that Splenda is just new and not a totally known entity. I worry that some story will break about its carcinogenic qualities… If I just had a packet here and there, I wouldn’t worry, but I am a crazy coffee drinker!
(Btw – I really, really miss Splenda!)
Is it Spring? I think, for me, it is Spring that is giving me this surge in health-consciousness, because I, too, am all kinds of interested in sweating and eating right. Hmm, that sounds funny. But you get the sweating part, right?
Winter days are gone. Hibernation is over. And light falls on all the areas of my life I’ve wanted to ignore for a while. Health is one of those that, ultimately, should never be ignored. It’s a battle to form good habits and stay consistent. But once you start, it’s a journey that can do no wrong. That is, as long as you do irreparably twist yourself into a yoga pretzel.
I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow morning as I rise at 5 for a workout, and refrain from that bagel smothered in cream cheese for breakfast. Here’s to our health!
I have to say that in my 40′s I think I’ve been the healthiest and in the best shape of my whole life. It is all about wanting to be here a long time for my kids and their kids.
Good for you Aidan!
I think I started caring two and a half months ago, when I stopped drinking. Since then I’ve started a regular yoga practice, both classes and at home, and it’s been amazing. It’s so freeing. We also have been eating much healthier, but that’s been a process that started about a year ago. That also makes a huge difference… it’s crazy when you start to actually look at what you put in your body and the side effects. Since cutting out artificial food dyes and many ingredients we’ve noticed changes in ourselves, especially when we do indulge in the artificial things… and we feel awful.
Good luck on your new healthy endeavors
In the life I led before children I worked out for several hours each day. If I didn’t hit the gym or do something I became very irritable.
In the decade since I have had to modify that and have been unsuccessful at finding balance for it. My biggest problem is diet.
But I have to admit that I love the way I feel when I do a good job of taking care of myself. Think it makes me a better parent. More patient, more energy etc.
Funny you should post this today. I got up today and said I was going to take charge of my body (exercise/diet) today, and exercised, but didn’t eat as well as I should’ve and said I’ll start tomorrow! Gosh, I really hope I follow through.
First of all – I found your blog through the post on Theta Mom & man, I am glad I clicked over. I have been sitting here reading through post after post instead of heading to bed to get more sleep, which I am desperately lacking these days … which leads to your post today. I have been struggling to get healthier for over a decade now, but can’t quite seem to stick to it. I do have those 2am worry-filled wake-ups, often. I want to get healthier not just so that I am around longer for my girls, but because I want to set a good example for them. I dont want them to have to struggle with their weight their whole lives like I have, and the best way for me to prevent that is to eat better with them and to show them that exercise is fun and a part of daily life from an early age. I KNOW all of this in my head and in my heart, but I just can’t seem to carry out the plan successfully.
Love your blog. I will definitely be back.
Welcome to ILI! Isn’t this so hard – this wanting something and finding it hard – because of real life and its tattered edges – to follow through. I think so many of us set such high and honorable expectations for ourselves, but then we fail to meet these expectations and beat ourselves up. And once we are adults and parents, all of this becomes even more complicated. Because we want things for ourselves and for our kids…
Thank you so much for popping by. Do come back!
Well, I used to be very motivated to work out. Lately, though, it would require that I 1) wake up at a time that I just can’t do or 2) take my kids with. By take my kids with me I mean, jog with my kids. Right now, I am in survival mode. I hate to admit that, but it’s true. With my husband studying his butt off for the MCAT and only being home for a couple hours of the day, and me insanely running around cleaning up my kids’ messes, it just isn’t possible. Yet, I still make sure to keep our meals relatively balanced. We avoid unhealthy sugars and fats as much as possible and limit our eating out to one day a week. I think this alone has helped me not to gain an extraordinary amount of weight.
As a bit of an exercise freak, I really appreciate this post, and not because it affirms all my nuttiness. No, it’s just a good thing to address, and even amid our body-obsessed culture, we don’t often talk about WHY we should really be exercising and taking care of our bodies…for our health. So we can be around in 10, 20, 50 years for our families, and for ourselves.
And congrats on your blog anniversary! (And may I say I’m looking forward to buying your novel when it comes out!)
Wow. I am so glad to have found you. I read both Lindsey (A Design So Vast) and Heather at Theta Mom. Your insight and talent are a true gift — to me! I love finding a new wonderful blog to read.
I, too, have been analyzing my healthy (and not-at-all-healthy choices) lately. And I’ve given up Diet Coke (only have one or two a week) and switched to seltzer waters (never, EVER thought I could. but i did! hooray!) Next on the list are McDonald’s french fries and red wine…everything in moderation, right?
Bravo to you for pausing long enough to hear what your body had to say.
Denise – I am so glad you found me too! Lindsey and Heather are wonderful and I am indebted to them for leading you here. Everything in moderation. Indeed. Including moderation, right? Sometimes, I am sick of moderation and want to indulge. But I think that’s okay, right? Ultimately, I think that these baby steps toward more holistic health are so important. Each little bad habit we get rid of matters.
Can’t wait to check out your musings!
During my pregnancy I had insomnia like yours where all I could do was get up and make lists, which calmed me down. Maybe buy something random I “needed” before the baby arrived, like baby wash cloths (that was a real need at 4 am one night!) It ended as soon as the baby came.
On rare occasions I still wake up in the middle of the night with a to-do list swirling or nondescript anxiety rearing its head, and ironically given your post it is always cured by a great workout. If I don’t get in some really good cardio at least a couple times a week I get “shplikes” as they call it in Yiddish – and those workouts burn off my nerves! Especially spinning classes, they are the best for moi.
So if you are like me your situation is perfectly fixable – workout more and your anxieties will fade, plus you’ll be focusing on your health as an excellent side-benefit
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Ooh. I love this. Another great reason to work out!
I’ve been feeling the need to start exercising as well, my softball season will be starting soon, so that will help. Your post also helps. Thanks. amber
My mom is a breast cancer survivor. She was in her early 40′s when she underwent a mastectomy. Now, in my mid 20′s and my mom in her mid 50′s, we are both extremely health conscious. I call myself a health nut. I love to shop at health food stores and cook healthy meals. I will often blog about health topics and I like to read healthy lifestyle blogs.
It’s all about having enough self-love to want to take care of yourself. If you don’t, perhaps you will eventually do it for your loved ones. I noticed myself becoming significantly more aware of my diet when I fell pregnant. I cut out coffee, diet coke and any artificial sweetener. Now I drink coffee again, but only in moderation. And without splenda this time.
I think that some people choose to neglect their health as a form of martyrdom. Others just forget what it feels like to feel good in their own skin. Confident. Or maybe they have never known what it feels like to feel good. Sad, but true.
The U.S. is advanced in many ways and significantly lagging in other ways, such as diet and health. Once our collective society recognizes that health IS true wealth, and we start putting our health before material gain, our nation will flourish once again. Until then, we will continue to spend far too much energy fighting disease.
Just my thoughts
I came across this blog by accident searching for a picture to put on my blog.. ironic really. I read your post and all the 44 comments underneath. It solidified to me even more why I am here, what my purpose is, and the impact I want to make on this planet. I too believe that our health is our number one wealth. I have seen and experienced what I would call miracles in people’s health over the last 3 years.. it has been something that has truly impacted me.. enlightened me.. and motivated me to make difference and help people with their health. So that is what I do.. everyday I help motivate and inspire people to better their health. Sometimes it is hard and frustrating and others it is uplifting and amazing.. I will never stop doing it because I believe it is my purpose. I know 2 things… we all must cleanse our bodies.. and we all must put proper nutrition back in. I am thankful I have found a vehicle that does those 2 things for my health, my child’s health, and the health of thousands of others. Anyways, I was inspired to share.. if anyone would like my help, advice, or guidance please let me know.
Blessings,
Brittney Kara
brittneykara@gmail.com