Date with my Daughter
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On Monday afternoon, I took Baby to music class. Truth be told, we arrived a whopping twenty minutes late because with my Box Brain, I’m even more delinquent with the everyday details. But we got there. And with plenty of time for her to run about on the rainbow carpet and frolic with friends and sing and dance under the parachute. The class ended like it always does with many bubbles and many happy kiddie giggles.
After class, I popped Baby in her stroller and we started our short trek home to reunite with Toddler and Nanny. After half a block though, I stopped. I bent down next to Baby and asked her, “Do you want to have a french fry date with Mommy?”
“Yeah!” she crooned.
And so we turned into the little vegan restaurant right there. We’d had some trouble with a certain grumpy old man in this restaurant before, but I decided to test my luck. Thankfully, the restaurant was almost completely empty. There was just one man at the bar scarfing tomato soup. (Hey, it was Matt Dillon!) Baby and I settled at a small table in the back. I ordered her a plate of fries and myself a bowl of chilled corn soup.
And we talked. We talked about the purple room she now shares with her sister. We talked about her beloved grandparents Moo Moo, Grammy, and Dad-Dad. Nanny texted me to tell me that our cats had vomited all over our brand new duvet cover. For whatever reason, I decided to share this horrific tidbit with Baby. She laughed deeply. “Oh no! Cats peeped on bed!” And I told her, no. They threw up. “Oh no! Silly cats!”
Our food arrived and Baby began a careful process drenching her fries in dip dip (ketchup). She fed me a few. She counted little fry bits (up to eight! genius!) She asked me how my soup was. Good, I told her. She asked me to strap her into her high chair – a safety detail I admittedly neglected – and I obliged. Then she finally started to eat. I smiled as she took a single fry and bit it from the side like an ear of corn. She ate all her fries this way. After a little while, I finished my soup.
“Eat it all up?” Baby asked.
“Yes, sweetie. It was delicious.”
“All done too!” she proclaimed. And then she started yelling “Fry fry!” over and over at a barely appropriate decibel. It was then that I noticed that the famous grumpy old man had taken a seat at the next table.
Check please.
We took the remaining fries to go in a little plastic box. I let Baby hold this box in her stroller and she shook it vigorously. A makeshift maraca. As I was strapping her into her stroller, I asked her something.
“Was it fun to have a date just with Mommy?”
“Yeah!” she screamed. And then she put her hand up for a high five.
I pushed this little girl home. I smiled the whole way. And as I smiled, warmed by experience and realization, my little creature shook that box of fries and kicked those little legs.
Do you agree that it is important that we have experiences with each of our children alone? Do you have fond memories of one-on-one experiences with your parents? (I do. I remember catching a big trout with Dad at Vick’s Pond when I was eight or so. And I remember pizza dates with Mom after preschool. We would sit in the very back of Pizza Joint and she would cut slices into small bites and then we would share.)
TOTALLY doing this with the magoo today… after our preschool interview. sounds like the perfect celebration.
The other day, I put Joy (the toddler) down for a nap while Grace (the almost-toddler) was still up. We sat and looked at each other for a few minutes, and realized that ever since she stopped waking up in the middle of the night to nurse, we’ve never really had times when it’s just the two of us. I decided then that we need to start planning such times – both parents, with both girls. Our girls are only eighteen months apart, and while I’m glad that they are so close to each other, I want them to know that we see them as individuals, too, that we know who they are all by themselves, without sister around!
Oh yes!!! So important
We rarely did one on one days growing up, but I vividly remember the two or three dates with my mom, and even how just a solo trip to the grocery store was special.
We try to do dates with the kids once a month or so.
Sounds like such a fun date for you two
I love this!
I used to get to go on vacation alone with my parents fairly often when I was little (which seems odd as one of four, but it must have been when the boys were at camp, on school trips, etc.), and I loved every minute of those vacations!
And we call ketchup dip-dip, too! But now I’m wondering if this is a coincidence or if I stole it from Baby and Toddler…
One of the best days of my entire life was when my mom took me – just me – the movies. I can still remember that feeling, almost like we conspiring together…it was awesome.
Absolutely…whenever you’re apart from your sibling, the dynamics shift. That’s not necessarily bad, just different. These “dates” with my Mom or Dad made feel so special.
I definitely think this is important. I only have one child, but I remember having “girl time” with my mom and getting my nails done. It helped strengthen our relationship and made me feel special when I usually felt like my main job was as babysitter to my younger brother. My husband, however, comes from a family of four and did not get much one on one time with either of his parents. His mom didn’t even come to his sports games because it was just too much to drag the other three along. Because of this, my husband isn’t that close with his parents. He is with his siblings, but he admits that he wishes he had had more time alone with his parents so he could experience them one on one instead of as keepers of the peace.
I think it’s very important for that one on one time. After the birth of our girls we made it a priority to spend one on one time with our son. I also enjoy taking just one of the babies to the store with from time to time while leaving the two other kids at home with daddy. I also plan on doing the same one on one dates with each of the kids as they get older. I think it’s important for time with just mom or just dad and time with both as well.
Love one-on-one dates with my kids! I think it’s so good for them (and for us). It’s so nice to be able to focus completely on that child, and that child alone.
Yes! I remember my first trip to Europe was a trip with just my mom (and not my brother) when I was a child, and it felt special that we got to do an outing just the two of us. He had a similar trip a couple of years later. Those special one-on-one moments are the foundation of what your individual relationship with your parents will be as you mature into an adult. I think it’s essential and fun for all parties involved!
I actually love carob (unlike everyone else I know who thinks its fake chocolate) because my mom would take me to this little vegetarian hippie place for frozen carob yogurt when I was little without my brother after my tumbling class. I thought it was so exotic. I think of that special time with her every time I eat it, which is still a fairly regular occurrence.
My Dad would do donut runs with both sister and I. Some lovely memories we experienced during those Sunday mornings. Hope fry fry become a tradition for you and your little one.
Absolutely! It is so funny to hear what they have to say when the other siblings aren’t trying to interrupt or answer for them. The kids have commented to me many times about how much they love the one-on-one time. They feel special and get to have Mom or Dad all to themselves.
I took a trip out to Colorado with my dad when I was in college to visit relatives. We talked about everything and had a such a great time. We were so much closer after that and I realized how much I didn’t know about him.
Hope to hear more of your dates with the little creatures. Mine are growing up and I love hearing the “toddler-speak.”