Soggy Days
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- 29
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The last few days here have been soggy. Literally. Figuratively. Existentially.
The rain has been ruthless, the win wild, the skies somber. And I have followed suit, staying in sweatpants, eschewing the shower, feeling quite lazy. Though pregnant, I have indulged in a little extra caffeine here and there to try to perk up. But it hasn’t helped. I have felt constant motivation to do one thing and one thing only.
Nap.
The timing for this stint of sogginess isn’t good. We are traveling to California this weekend and there are errands to run. I am coming up on a big self/agent-imposed deadline for my next book. These days are days I need. To do things. To accomplish tasks. To produce. To progress.
But alas. It hasn’t happened. I sat there yesterday afternoon, still unshowered for no good reason, on the couch. My kids buzzed about me, reminders of the energy I didn’t have. The kind lady on the television said there was a tornado watch. An excuse to stay put, home, snuggled up.
I wish I could enjoy these pauses. Allow myself them. These times out of time, these unplanned breaks, these detours.
But instead. A pit of worry grows. Anxiety shuffles. My mind dances with the things I can’t bring myself to do. Lists beckon. Pages stay blank. Criticism creeps up.
In these moments, I look outside. At the damp and gritty gray. At the mangled umbrellas strewn on city streets. At the shallow puddles that wait for feet and frolic. And I wonder. Does the weather really affect us, burrowing into our superhero cells, making us sleepy, making us sluggish, making us stop? Or is this but another lovely excuse we have and hold for being imperfect and utterly human, for needing to slow down sometimes?
I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know. But I’m ready for the sun’s return.
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- Does the weather affect you?
- Do you have days when you have a hard time functioning, where everything seems to be in slow motion?
- Do you think existential sogginess is a reality independent of local weather?
- Are you hard on yourself when you are not on top of your game?
Everyone struggles and...
I had the weather funk, too. I think the sun is supposed to shine today. And so, so glad.
First of all, I would say pregnancy in itself is enough of a reason to slow down and take naps! Your body is working hard, hard, hard, all the time, even when you’re sleeping, so resting is important
I find that some rainy days are good for certain activities: baking, sewing, scrapbooking, anything like that. And often I find that the grey, rainy sky outside is what I need to get my creative juices flowing in my writing.
However, other times (like this week!), it does just make me sleepy. So the weather does affect me, but there’s got to be something there underneath, in me already, that dictates just how I respond to the weather.
I’ve had the same funk for the past few days too. Even though I also feel there is so much I should be doing, frankly not much of it has been done. More than the wind and rain, which has been here in PA too, I blame it on the shortening of the days. Somewhere back in time, we’re programmed to start conserving body energy, snuggle up with warm loved ones, and ride out the cold hard winter. Even though we are fortunate enough to know we’ll have heat and enough to eat over the darker months, part of our unconscious brain still wants us to slow down. I find it hardest to fight those urges when the weather suddenly changes. A one-day thunderstorm in June is no biggie, but several rainy days combined with cooler temps and shorter days make me want to nap big time, and I don’t even have the excuse of being pregnant! And I do often find the existential sogginess creeps in after a day or two of not being especially motivated.
Thanks for putting this out there Aidan- it makes me feel a lot less lazy and part of a larger group phenomena!
I’m having the opposite problem. I am cursing the 90 degree weather and hoping for a rainy day so I can justify staying inside in my sweats to read.
I guess I agree – weather has a huge impact on my productivity as well.
I love rainy days – but only if I can curl up on the couch in my pj’s all day. I’m in CA and it’s been in the 90s here so maybe that little burst of sunshine will lighten your mood. Enjoy those lazy days – the third made me so tired.
I had a dream last night and it was about measuring. I measure a lot in my life. Did I get my list done? Do I sleep too much? Is she getting more done than me? Do I get it right?
The dream told me how ineffectual my measuring is. Not only is it unkind, it actually slows my work. It alienates me from the very people with whom I’m trying to build community and bridges.
In the past year I’ve napped on the days I needed to nap (and I have no pregnancy to be my forgiveness). I’ve buzzed with energy when the energy fairies are generous. And, surprise of surprises: not only has it been my most productive year, it’s been my happiest.
I’m think we’re not meant to measure but to flow. At least that seems to be what my dream fairies had to say.
In Phoenix, the sun is always shining. We get excited when it rains. Sometimes I crave rain because it puts me in a more reflective mood. With the rays always shining, you almost feel like you can’t be somber or pause.
We’ve been having the same weather and I’ve actually appreciated it after a long, hot, sticky summer. The cold rain has felt like a relief in a way.
It also doesn’t hurt that both of my boys nap best on rainy days, giving me a little extra time to get things done (the really important stuff like, you know, blogging and watching Gossip Girl).
Hope your funk defunkifies soon and that you enjoy your trip this weekend.
I love rainy days.. Give me time to stay on the couch, in sweats catching up on books, or articles i wanted to read. (And sneaking in a few naps as well)Rain is life’s way of slowing you down. Enjoy the rain, because before we know it, it will be snow instead..
Your post comes to me at a funny time. I’m in a very different place right now. The weather has finally cooled here and the past few days have been just perfect – bright and sunny with lows in the 50s and highs in the 70s. It’s given me a huge boost of energy to be productive. BUT… I love the soggy days. I love a rainy autumn weekend afternoon when I feel entitled to curl up in jeans and a sweatshirt and park on the sofa with a book and a bowl of soup. My soggy days aren’t here yet, but they will be and I look forward to them.
I live in LA because I like sunshine and hate gray skies. Rainy weather is sometimes good for writing, but given the choice I vote for sun.
I’m totally with you. I get this way with weather and with life in general, when it’s soggy.
You’re pregnant on top of how busy life is and I think you need to be soggy for now. But I can’t really push that on you because I can never just relax in it either…
Yes it does!! Well, sometimes. It does depends on what kind of mood I am in. Like when my allergies are acting up, I don’t feel up to doing anything. So I just contradicted myself in saying YES the weather does affect when infact it’s our physiological selves. I do agree with Gretchin Rubin when she says to “Act the way we want to feel.” I am not as hard on myself as I used to be, I’ve come to appreciate that we are only human and sometimes there will be days where we need to relax.
I think you are experienced a common guilt Americans share! “To be productive; always to be productive!”
Isn’t this inner voice a bit agitating at times?
Yet I recently read something like “The world would be a lot better if more people are taking more naps.” I found it rather refreshing!
BTW, congratulations on your pregnancy! You should read the book named “Discover your body’s wisdom”!! Your body knows better than you do! When it sends you the signal to nap, you better listen to it!