Your Change
- 09
- 02
- 10
Midday. A young woman hurries into a deli. She scans the drink cases, hurls open a smudged glass door, and pulls out a Coke. Caffeine. To keep going. She waits behind a large man who has ordered a bagel with butter and a coffee light and talks ceaselessly about the weather. The woman digs into her purse, collecting coins from its depths. She counts. She has it exactly. From behind the man, still talking, she waves her Coke and places the coins in a small stack on the counter. She slips out of the store.
“Miss!” a voice says. “Miss!”
She turns to see a man come from the store. The clerk behind the counter. He is now on the sidewalk, beckoning her to return. She retraces her steps, stands inches from him. “I paid for this,” she explains.
“I know.”
“What then?” she asks.
“Your change,” the man says, staring into her eyes.
“But I counted. It’s $1.25, right?” she asks.
“Not that kind of change,” he says. “Real change. What would you change – about you – given the chance? One thing.”
She smiles. Studies his eyes. They are dark and kind. Shaped like almonds, glittering in late summer sun. She realizes something. Something tiny and tremendous. She never even saw this man, or his eyes, before. Even though she was standing there, looking at him. She looked, but she did not see.
“I would linger longer,” this woman says. “In my moments. I miss too much.”
He nods. And smiles. Turns to go.
“Sir,” she says, this woman.
“Yes?”
“What is your name?” she asks.
“Delta,” he says, grinning, playing with her perhaps. Laughter tumbles from him as he steps back in the store.
“One more thing!” she calls, uncapping her soda.
“Yes?”
“Thank you. For my change.”
She sips Coke. And realizes that, today, she is already awake. That sometimes stopping is as good as going.
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- What’s your change? One thing you would change about yourself or the way you approach the world?
- Do you ever wish you lingered longer in your moments? Do you also have trouble being truly “present”?
- Do you agree that here are gems of realization buried in the rubble of the everyday?
- Do you have a healthy relationship with caffeine?
- Do you ask people you encounter only briefly their names?
This post is a little piece of fiction, but for a charming and true story about a young woman and exact change, please check out this post from my friend Lauren at Embrace the Detour!
I would be more confident, and less reliant on what others think about me.
There are absolutely gems of realization in the everyday rubble. Moments of clarity, flashes of truth. It is up to us to keep our eyes open and be willing to be taught by these gems, otherwise they sparkle in vain.
I love your fiction, Aidan, this one included.
Cheers to real change; something well within reach for all of us.
That sometimes stopping is as good as going.
Love that. So very, very true.
I often wish I could linger longer in my moments — and be more mentally present when I’m actually out and about. Or not out and about — and just snuggled up at home. Anywhere. The only time I seem to really be anywhere is when I’m on vacation… and then? Then I’m not doing anything. Then, I’m everywhere.
It’s hard to be present all the time, even in our own reality. I actually was just thinking about a post to my own blog yesterday. We raise heritage breeds of poultry, endangered species of livestock (who knew there was even such a thing?) The turkeys annoy me by jumping on the porch (and leaving pile of “presents” behind). But yesterday as I took a precious break outside from the heat of the canning kitchen, it occurred to me that instead of being annoyed at the turkey on my porch threatening to peck at my freshly painted toenails, that this was an ENDANGERED SPECIES, one that most folks will never meet live in the flesh. That most folks never get closer than the glass at a zoo to a fellow creature in danger of disappearing from the face of the planet. That I’m helping to save these rare birds by raising and breeding future generations them here. It was overwhelming. I see them every day, but it took a special moment to think, to appreciate. Imagine if all our moments could be so self-aware, so important.
This was fabulous and something I need to do more often, especially with having kids. I often fly just to get them here or there often forget to enjoy “the getting there” thanks for making me think!
You have touched upon one of the most common characteristics of our developed nation. Just as every comment above mine reiterates, we go. Whether forward or backward, we go. Whether under or over, we go. To stop and be. Can you? I feel that as I age I am finding the idea of “stop and be” less overwhelming. I have my growing thoughts. What happens when my eyes shut? Will I ever meet the fourth little soul that did not make it into our family? How can I cultivate my three boys into successful men? Success defined by the love in their hearts and the way they leave our world in a better state.
These thoughts. They are life.
Thanks for the shout out! It was a reminder, actually, that I need to post something new. I can’t believe it’s been a week.
I wanted to say that I think you should post more bits of fiction on ILI! I love it and this has inspired me to maybe do some of that, too. Is this from novel #2 or just a lil ILI exclusive? Either way, good stuff.
Sorry to hear about your leak – we actually have one in our kitchen right now, too! Maybe it’s a lucky leak. I have no idea what that would even mean, but I like the sound of it.
If I could change, I would change … I’m not entirely sure what I would change. Probably the fact that I’m so quick to anger. But I do wish that I lingered longer in my moments – I wish that I could be more present in my own life. I know that’s definitely something I’m not very good at. I do believe that there are gems of realization buried in the rubble of everyday and I wish I had the time to soak all of those up. I feel like I would be so much wiser and I would be able to understand and reach out to more people. I didn’t used to have a very healthy relationship with caffeine but now I have it more under control. I don’t want to have to depend on any outside substances to survive my day. Instead, I want to be awake and alive in every moment.