Only Bad Things Happen Quickly
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Recently, I have realized two things about myself. Two things I think I already knew, but things that have become clearer to me. First, I am forever on a hunt for words that make me understand self and world. This is why I am a sucker for the cute little quote books that are often sold in card shops. This, I imagine, is in part why I write. To weave together my own words into tapestries that might, someday, warm someone else.
The other thing? I am very impatient. I fashion goals and expect to meet them instantly. I assume that if I do not, I have failed in some critical regard. In particular, I am feeling this way about my second novel. As soon as I churned out the first one hundred pages, I realized that they do not quite embody the story I long to tell. Now? I am realizing that writing those first pages was a necessary, if prolonged, step in making me hone in on the arc of my newest tale. Book two might be born a bit later than I’d once hoped. This is okay. Good, even. Because (within reason) I am giving it the time it needs to breathe and mature, it will be a far better book.
Good things take time. Time and process are not the enemy. The following words – yes, from one of those card shop gems – say it better than I ever could:
When we think about the things that alter our lives in a moment, nearly all of them are bad: phone calls in the night, accidents, loss of jobs or loved ones, conversations with doctors bearing awful news. In fact, apart from a last-second touchdown, unexpected inheritance, winning the lottery, or a visitation from God, it is hard to imagine sudden good news. Virtually all the happiness-producing processes in our lives take time, usually a long time: learning new things, changing old behaviors, building satisfying relationships, raising children. This is why patience and determination are among life’s primary virtues.
- Gordon Livingston, M.D., Too Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now
Oh, how true. Sometimes wonderful things appear to happen quickly. A baby is born! An agent is found! A book is published! A deal is made! A home is bought! In truth, these moments, these happenings, are the culmination points of processes that have taken time.
The best things in life do not happen overnight. They don’t. They come to us more gradually, in beautiful fits and starts, don’t they? Now, I just need to remember this.
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Do you agree that only bad things happen quickly? Are you a fan of quotations too? Do you think the words and theories of others help us better understand ourselves and our world? Are you full of patience and determination? Do you think those of us who struggle in these departments can work on cultivating more of these virtues?
Everyone struggles and...
I have definitely learned recently through my own experiences that “easy come, easy go.” You are very right — all the really good things don’t just happen magically in a second.
And good luck with your book — If you hadn’t started down what you now see as the wrong path, you wouldn’t have figured out now what you do really want to write.
Thanks for a very important reminder. I needed to hear that today, and honestly, most days! Hope you are doing well. Happy Thanksgiving~
I love quotations. I also peruse the books that have quotes. It is my love of words and the way that they are arranged that fuel my need to gravitate toward those type of books.
I often get impatient with my writing, wanting sometimes for the pages to write themselves. It’s a solitary pursuit that requires discipline and the patience to get through those rough first drafts.
Thanks for the reminder Aidan.
I love quotations and have since I was a little girl at my grandparents’ home leafing through their quote books. The one you share is particularly good.
When my robe caught the spoon in my cereal bowl this morning, catapulting a mess onto my tablecloth and floor, I saw this bad things happening quickly principle in action. When I watch my father’s health slowly succumb to Multiple Sclerosis, I see an exception. But, even in that case, the patience and perseverance to triumph best he can does take time.
Thanks for sharing. These are certainly virtues worth pursuing.
Your post this morning reminded me that good things do take slow. They need to marinate. To breathe like you said. To grow. As I type this I am looking around at all the good things around me that didn’t take overnight to grow. The material things… my beautiful home, the heat warming the house, the nice furniture that actually matches. This is a result of many years of learning and building careers to pay for it. But what is even better is my family… my marriage of 25 years, that doesn’t happen overnight. Or my two sons who are young adults both in college. Many years of nuturing and parenting. That too doesn’t occur overnight.
Bad things happen quickly because we don’t plan them, we don’t build for them therefore we are never ever ready. We are too busy focusing and preparing for the good things.
I love quotes and use them quite frequently in my posts and conversations about life. However, I don’t think that bad things happen any more quickly than good things. There is a process for everything.
Perhaps I take it too literally, but both good and bad must go through the steps of time. When a brain tumor robbed us of a dear friend it didn’t happen overnight. It took time for the tumor to develop and for the cancer to go through all of the stages.
Maybe it is the shock of “bad” things that happen that makes it feel like it didn’t take any time at all for them to happen.
I’m a sucker for juicy quotes. I try to keep them collected, but I’m forever scribbling them on little scraps of paper.
And yes, I agree that good things take time. Rarely does something truly worthwhile happen in an instant.
Love this and really made me think! Kinda what I needed to hear today. Hope you have a good Thanksgiving with your family…it’s the last one as a family of 4 for you!
Yes, some of our desires seem to take much longer than others. They operate on their own timetable. I like to think it is often a test of the Universe to see how much we really want them
Best things in life do come gradually…but how would you know that they will come? As someone who also suffers from an impatience to achieve, I can’t help but to think that my impatience stems from the fear of not achieving (or getting whatever I want).
I agree that the best things in life don’t happen overnight. But the best things in life are usually the hardest to get. Before battling patience, it might be a good idea to arm yourself with enough faith that what you want is worth the fight.
It seems that, if we’re willing to stick it out for the long haul, our chances of getting what we want increase dramatically. But we do have to befriend uncertainty, too. You probably know the book Bird by Bird, Aidan, but if not, it serves as a wonderful reminder that writing takes a long time, and that we go through so much self-doubt and disappointment along the way. Hang in there!
I have to say this, I stumbled on your blog over the summer and some days I find that my time is limited and I may not read. However, I always catch up at the weekends, and I am never disappointed. Thank you so much for this, you reminded me it took a long time for my dream to live in NYC to come true, but it finally did and now I am here for keeps. You also reminded me of all things that I plan to achieve and know that they will happen but they may just take a litte time. Thank you.