Do You Love Your Life?
- 02
- 04
- 11
Stop. Step back. Squint. Look at the landscape of your life. Do you like what you see? Do you love what you have?
Too often, we get mired in the micro. In the drudgery and dust of our days. In the exhaustion and the exasperation that glosses existence. It is all too rare that we look at the bigger picture, the wider world.
Each of us has one life. One life full of people and things, passions and places. One life.
I realize something. Something good. That something? I love my life. Its contours. Its contents. Husband. My girls. My Mom. My sisters. My family. My friends. My readers. My city. My home. My head. My writing. My words. My doors. My dreams.
Sometimes, the minutiae are maddening and the details debilitating. Sometimes, I am bogged in doubts, awash in insecurity, unsure of my way. But the big strokes? They are grand and gorgeous. And I love them. It. This life.
And so. I vow to do it. To walk away from the anxieties. To stand back from the blahs. To squint. To study. To see. The life, imperfect but exquisite, that I have come to. The life, imperfect but exquisite, that I have created.
This. This life. This life I love.
_______________________________________________
Do you love your life? Do you think we too often get caught up in the details of our days and forget to consider our lives as wholes? Are you living the life you had once hoped for? What would your ideal life look like?
Wow, I’ve decided you must get up super early. Nothing like knowing if I can’t sleep you are already up, thinking and writing;) I do love my life, but find that I think of the little things that are bothering me way too much. Typically they are the things that I can’t control. You are right about stepping back and looking at the big strokes. I feel I have so much and so many to be grateful for, but I tend to focus on what I want to change, rather than what I am happy to keep the same. Have a good day!
We were in the car yesterday (shush pulled kids from school today) and my husband said “we have it pretty good”. This was in response to a state-long monolog about the events of a crappy day. I refused to agree with him, his optimism annoyed me. Now, as I look out at a snow covered mountain, with a good night of sleep since the crappy day, I can agree, for now.
What a lovely reminder … thank you, thank you.
I do love my life, though I often get lost in the small things that frustrate and challenge – so this prompt to look at the sky, literally and figuratively, is so right.
Thank you. xoxo
Sometimes I think getting caught up in the “debilating details” is what helps remind us how great we have it. After all, if we always walked around without a care or a reason to worry then we wouldn’t have reason to see the light beyond the shadows. Maybe instead of debilitating details they are really “illuminating” ones…..
The big picture of our life? Tossing safety, security, comfort out the window to pursue our dreams, not know where we’ll be in ten years? It’s scary and exciting and adventurous, and I thoroughly love it. The little details as we work our way to the place where we can really start the adventure? Not so much.
I needed the reminder this morning to stay focused on the big goal, and not get bogged down by the little things. Thank you!
(Oh, and mika’s comment was just perfect, too. Thank you, mika!)
That you are looking ahead and thinking big and pursuing dreams is inspiring to me and I am sure to many others. But, yes, I see that the means to that glorious end, the tiny details, can be overwhelming and incapacitating. Pleased that I offered up some kind of reminder to you this morning (as I did to myself). And I also agree with Mika that there is a power in the debilitating details, the maddening mundane. Contrast is so important. Without it, what would life be?
In the course of getting a minor in art in college, I had a painting teacher who insisted that we spend nearly as much time stepping back a few paces to *look* at our work as we did actually painting. Being up close all the time, without that perspective, made it much more likely to make errors of proportion or scale. While the minute, up close details were essential to the overall success of the painting, slowing down to take in in the overall picture was part of the process too.
I think life is very much like that. Thanks for reminding me to take a step back today.
And no, I never in a million years envisioned this life I’m living now. However, in many ways I feel so lucky and blessed to be living it. I do love my life!
Emily,
Such a good way to put it–the importance of stepping back at times to see the bigger picture. Thank you.
You must be reading my mind–ha! Today is my birthday–38 years old and this week has been filled with anxiety and self doubts. This morning when I first woke up and curled up next to my nearest and dearest I thought to myself–life is pretty good. I have very little to actually complain about and much to celebrate! Thanks for the reinforcement and the wonderful reminder!! It is good to step back from the doubts and fears and see the big picture from time to time!!
I do love my life! My husband, my three sons, the close relationships that I’ve formed with my extended family. Sometimes I do get bogged down by bedtimes and housework and work and bills. Sometimes I wish that we could buy a house instead of rent one. Sometimes I wish that I loved my job more, or followed my dreams a little more closely but when it comes down to it? I have all that I could need to feel happy.
Some are more fortunate than others. That will always be the case. And we don’t always “make our own luck” either. That’s an easy out for those who don’t want to look deeper at the facts that we can’t control everything that happens.
As for loving life – whatever it dishes out – sometimes it’s extremely difficult. Even taking steps back.
But I always consider myself fortunate when I look at my children. No matter what else is going on – that is a great gift. For some of us, perhaps the greatest gift.
BLW – Thank you, as always, for your perspective. It’s so easy to look at other people’s greener pastures and become unsatisfied with our own. But this is usually unproductive. We all have something good in our lives.
thanks for my morning big hug with your post. reading through previous comments and reflecting, this reminded me of a future self post i did a while back. and then just reading your closing – love it. LOVE IT! – “I vow to do it. To walk away from the anxieties. To stand back from the blahs. To squint. To study. To see. The life, imperfect but exquisite, that I have come to. The life, imperfect but exquisite, that I have created.” thanks so much for the great reminder about life lived.
Love the vintage photograph Aidan. And yes it is easy to get mired by the details, especially when you are so in it. That’s when you take a step back and try to look at the bigger picture. Shelter, health, wealth, spouse, children…then you realize life isn’t that bad. It’s all in the perception of things.
This post comes at an opportune time for me, as I have lately been wrestling with the bigger picture of my life. To answer your question, yes, I love my life. But there are some stones unturned and dreams unexplored that leave me feeling itchy lately. It’s good in moments like this to remember that the bigger picture is, indeed, a beautiful one. But I can’t afford to drown out all of my dissatisfaction in specific areas of my life because they are what make me work for more.
Nope, I don’t love my life. I don’t hate it either, but the life I am living right now is very different from the one that I was living not so long ago. Not to mention far different from what I would have expected at this age.
That is not to say that I hate either because I don’t. However I am frustrated and unsatisfied with a number of elements that are outside of my control.
I have a quote that fits this mood of mine:
“You see things and say ‘why?’ But I dream things that never were and I say ‘why not?” — George Bernard Shaw
The point is that I am working steadily to make changes. I used to love my life and I will again but that time is a bit ahead of me. Guess I have to keep on hiking up the mountain.
Jack, thank you for this candid comment. It is freeing to hear people admit that aspects of their lives need work. Mitigates the pressure to believe that everything is always good. And also admitting such shortcomings is the only way to open the door to improvements.
Thanks for your honesty, Jack. I would have said the same a little more than a year ago. Taking the steps toward the life we want to live can often be painful. Certainly not always pleasant and euphoric. I wrote something this morning (before reading this post) about the experience of getting to the top of a mountain–expecting it to be a fabulous, joyful experience. But it wasn’t. So even when you get to the top of that mountain, you will look out to peaks and valleys beyond and yes, those are still part of this journey. best of luck on yours…http://wp.me/p1eIHm-1C
Gale/TJ,
One of the reasons I blog is because the writing keeps me accountable to myself. It is one of the few places that I can truly focus on me and that is one of the great challenges of parenthood.
I have also found that my forties are a time of transition. There are parts and pieces of my life that cannot be continued, carried along or glossed over any longer. I am simply done with them.
So here I am. I have been at the top of that mountain as well as the bottom. Now I am somewhere in between and while there are moments where I am convinced that I am walking through hell covered in gasoline there are many where I am not.
Anyway, if life is about building character than I most assuredly am one.
Oh, I love my life. This is something that’s always in the forefront of my mind. I have found that’s the best way to fight away the overwhelmingness of depression.
Would I like to step outside my bubble from time-to-time to escape my life? You betcha! But I can guarantee that I would always want to return to my life because I truly do love it.
What a simple and beautiful post to make us readers pause and reflect.
My love for life is similar to the love I feel for my romantic partner, or what I imagine I’d feel for my child. I always love life. Sometimes I just get mad at it for not doing what I want!
This makes a lot of sense to me. We can love something, and wholly, but also be frustrated by it.
Thank you Aidan for sharing your thoughts and gratitude of your life. I love my life with the ups and downs. I am grateful for all of it .
Lovely way of putting it Aidan. I am so happy to say that yes, I do love my life–with all of its challenges, struggles and fears. In the past year I’ve made huge changes in order to live the life I have wanted to live. Those changes have been painful and expectations often don’t match reality, but accepting that this life, lived fully, will have an exquisite mix of highs and lows, triumph and sorrow, love and loss–that’s what makes the journey worth taking. Thanks for the great discussions generated this week!
just want to second tj’s thanks for the discussions you’ve generated this week. so so good! i feel like i’ve been walking around with your questions in my head, looking at my own life a little bit differently…a fitting friday post, i’d say.
I love my life, too – except for one thing, which is that I tend to worry a lot and sometimes ruin being “in the moment” with fears and anxieties. This is something I’m working on trying to change (in some ways, it’s ironic – I love my life so much that I’m worried something bad will happen. OMG, I sound like Charlotte from Sex and the City. What is wrong with me?!)
I’m lucky to be married to someone who, similarly, has a positive attitude about things (I hate negativity, hate it, hate it) so I love our outlook. We’re not like, rosy-annoying or anything like that. But we like to laugh. Mostly at ourselves. And that’s important)
Once again, ADR, you are in my head. I was writing about this today, but in a different context. I don’t actually love my life right now. I love the pieces- the husband, the baby, the house, the family, the dog, the street we live on, our routines and the little nuances that makes our life ours. But when something big is out of whack in my life- whether it be health or finances or whatever- it is like a big stone standing in my way of seeing the good. For me right now, that is my job, and it’s casting too big a shadow. The good thing is, like Jack, I am actively changing this. I don’t live in the shadows for long. I am crawling over that rock, slowly but surely.
But today, no, I don’t love my life. But I will soon.
I just said to my mom recently–I have everything I ever imagined in this life.
I also believe, as your thoughtful readers address above, that loving life is accepting all the pits, valleys, highs and lows. Knowing that it all comes with being human helps me to embrace the different facets life delivers.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post. (And I like how you always ask questions at the end of your posts.)
I agree with you. A big part of loving life is seeing it for what it is, accepting the cracks and the caverns, knowing that the love we feel for it is complicated and ever-evolving.
In 2010, I watched a good friend live — and die– with ALS. I saw him lose muscle movement, unable to move or talk for the last 9 months of his life… yet still, he continued to love and live his life with every ounce of vitality he had in him.
This experience has taught me to not take a single moment of life for granted. I am so incredibly blessed…there are just no words to describe the gratefulness for the life I have and the people in it.
Yet still, even knowing all that I’ve been blessed with, there are days that I feel sad or lonely, missing the people who I’ve lost… either in death or in life.
I love my life, but I hope that one day I will find another partner to share it with.
There are always moments that I don’t like about my life. But I definitely have a good life. All things that are important and matter are definitely good.
i spent many, many years not living my life. years and years of being too scared to stretch out my limbs and make my own way, following prescribed footsteps and dulling with each one. when i was 19, i grew so sick of the whole charade that i made a radical break, moving as far away as i could from everything and everyone i’d ever known. it was terrifying–gut wrenching and shivers inducing terrifying. i had no money and no clue but for the first time i felt like my eyes were open, i felt like i could see. the life i’ve made for myself since then has had one requirement: it will be my home and, as my home, i will try to be tender with it. there are days when i get frustrated and overwhelmed, but i try not to get too far ahead of myself, not to expect my life to be some bucolic pasture that it inevitably won’t be. i try to nudge at it gently when it needs to shift and i try to be brave enough to let it hold my dreams.
so, yes. i love my life. thanks for reminding me.
what a beautiful post, aidan. i wish so desperately it were as easy for me as your words describe. thank you for giving me this viewpoint.
I do love my life. I lived for so long saying life is great, but when I move home and have babies it will be perfect. And I have to say, it is. So sweet and simple, quite a big change from my crazy work city life of the past. Just one kiss from my little munchkin is all it takes to remind me, in case I forget. I often reflect on how lucky I am. It is scary really, being exactly where you want to be in life. But I try not to think about it and just to enjoy everything.
All that said I am an optimist and don’t dwell too much in the details that can bog one down. Not to say I don’t have my bad days but they are pretty few and far between and nearly always over trivial things like being rushed or too busy.
It is really scary to realize we love life. Even more so to admit it out loud. Because we are all aware that things can change, that nothing is a guarantee, that all good things are fleeting. I love what you say about one kiss from your little one. Isn’t it amazing how powerful a tiny and timely dose of affection can be?
I love my life. I do wish that I could work for myself though and I hope to see more of the world with my family. But yes, I love my life. My belief is that if you do not like your life, you should change it.
Your blog is great. I am just trying to fit my NOW life into my ideal life. Life doesn’t go as planned and I have to be the happiest with what life gives me, challenges and all. Always thought it was a cliche but attitude does make all the difference.
I do. I really do. I haven’t always. But I do today. I absolutely love it.
It isn’t lost on me that so much of what I have (a loving husband, two happy, healthy children, a roof over my head, food on the table) are nothing short of immense blessings, none of which I must ever take for granted.
One word. A word you love: YES.
I do love that word
Very nicely said. I’m happy to report that I love my life as well…
I want to say I love my life, but…
Except this is your whole point, right? That we focus on the “buts” of life.
Taken as a whole, my family and I have health, a beautiful baby girl, a house, jobs (when so many can’t say the same).
So taken as a whole, I love my life, but…
the days can be difficult and overwhelming. So it’s easy to forget.
It so easy to be critical of your life. At least, that is how I am: overly critical, always wanting more. But sometimes when I look at the bigger picture, I feel overwhelmed. What I consider my tiny little existence, is actually quite large. And I am so thankful for all that I have: the people, the opportunities, the pleasures, and sometimes even the sorrows. My life is definitely not what I thought it would be. I had bigger dreams for myself and I definitely didn’t see myself here. The past couple years have been trying but I am happy to be where I am now. Granted, I’m excited about the possibilities of the future and excited to finally be a grown up. Is it sad that even though I’m a college senior, I still feel like a kid?