Getting Ready. Getting Real.
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Six weeks. Not a lot of time. The fog of denial is slowly lifting.
Time to get ready. (Are we ever ready?)
We pull all the clothes out of storage. Dump them out on the white floor of what will be her room. I sit there, sifting through. Creating piles. According to size. And category. Creating order.
She will wear these things.
Toddler and Baby help. Helping to them = jumping in those little piles of clothes they once wore. Creating chaos. We unpack boxes. Of diapers. Of creams. A carrier. A plastic bath. Items utilitarian and necessary.
Items we will use.
From the floor, I stare up. At the big floral elephant. The tiny birds. The mural from Baby’s nursery. A swirl of happy color.
He will watch over our tiniest girl too, this kind elephant.
White Cat plays his part. Warms up the cushion where we will change tiny diapers in the middle of the night.
We will change her tiny diapers in the middle of the night.
The girls now play in their room. Time passes and I check on them. In their purple haven, I see the sinister scene. They’ve been practicing. Or plotting. Pink strollers. An overturned crib. Abandoned baby dolls. Cooking supplies.
They will be big sisters. Together.
Back in the blue room, the nursery, I continue my work. And I find it. The tiny outfit Baby wore home from the hospital. I hold it up. Sniff it. Remember. Imagine. Tiny tears come. I smile.
This is getting real.
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Are there some things in life we can’t really prepare for? Does going through old possessions make you nostalgic? Do you think life is a dance between chaos and order? Is six weeks soon?
Your photography is amazing, Aidan. Even without the words I would’ve followed the story. So exciting!
I’ve been giving away baby clothes – going through them really does bring up waves of memories. Also, panic. What if we’re not done? But mostly it is amazing to sort through things and realize how quickly they grow.
so very sweet – and as real as it gets… yes, 6 weeks is soon – especially in the realm of babies… they can arrive earlier if they choose to… having 3 children creates an interesting dynamic… i found that with my first and second, i was the ‘go to’ – always… but the littlest one will turn to the eldest… it is rather beautiful to see the care imparted and the trust shared…
what a lovely verbal/visual and emotional story you shared…
Don’t get too ready too early, 6 weeks could potentially be 8. This is coming from someone who was all ready with “nothing” to do. I don’t know if we’re ever ready or really know to expect. This birth, baby and all that comes with her will be unique.
Not likely… Both of my girls were early – three and two weeks, respectively. Chances are I have even less than six weeks. Yikes! (Oh, and don’t worry for a minute about me being too ready too early. Not quite my style!)
Oh, what a time of mingled joy and disbelief! I remember going through all of Joy’s old clothes, washing them fresh and folding them up, picking out a different outfit for the new baby to wear home, since she was coming in May instead of November … it just seems impossible that your child/ren ever were small enough to wear these tiny things.
Six weeks – the days will alternately fly and drag from here, but it won’t be long at all before she’s here!
Yes, the days will fly and drag. That’s exactly what I expect. I will do my very best to enjoy this final stretch as it is likely my final pregnancy, but that is sometimes easier said than done. And, yes, so hard to believe they were once so tiny. I showed Husband the little outfit of Baby’s and we both laughed. It just doesn’t seem possible
Beautiful post. These are magical times. I get nostalgic. We were organizing Daniel’s bookcase two weeks ago and my husband asked, “do you have a story for every book.” I remember his favorite books, and books that were given to him as gifts, and I have memories of reading them a thousand times and cute things that he said to me. I am sentimental what can I say. Enjoy this time that you have and savor every moment yet to come.
Baby clothes always make me nostalgic, and there is nothing like holding a onesie to make the theoretical concrete! 6 weeks is definitely soon–mine were early, too.
I’ve been starting to prepare myself mentally, too, though I have about 9 more weeks than you do. I see other people’s infants and think, “Wow, I’m going to have another one of those soon.” It’s hard to imagine, and yet I’m sure it will feel so natural when the time comes.
Six weeks is so close! I remember those being the weeks that panicked me the most- suddenly I realized that there was no turning back- I was having this baby! When in labour with my youngest, who we had decided was our last, I turned to my husband and said “Thank goodness I’ll never have to do this again”, LOL.
I have a tiny box of baby clothes that I saved from my boys. Tiny sleepers and outfits that will remind me of when my big boys were so small. Ah, nostalgia!
I wonder how I will feel when I actually go into labor. I imagine that when I am crippled over with the pain of a contraction, I will feel thankful that this is the last go, but I know myself and once that baby is out I will feel a certain sadness that it is (likely) all behind me. All in all, I love being pregnant and the thought of this being the last time is bittersweet to say the very least. Oh, and love the idea of keeping a tiny box!
Six weeks is so soon,I’m jealous:) I love the grocery cart in the first picture and that all the photos convey the fun Baby and Toddler had “helping” you get ready. I get nostalgic when I look through mementos, but I also find it very ground. A great reminder of who I am and what matters in life.
i think that one of the breathtaking parts of having a baby is the realization that we can never truly prepare for anything. what is yet to unfurl is always unknown, if only in some tiny way. when i was pregnant i found this realization humbling and unnerving, calming and exhilarating (you know, depending on how my hormones were doing that day).
this is such a beautiful post. there is so much tenderness for the life you have now and for the life you are about to step into.
and six weeks is nothing!
I loved this stage of pregnancy. Yes, you feel huge and probably uncomfortable. But the anticipation is so palpable. I love that feeling of being on the cusp of something big. You are on the cusp of something literally tiny, but metaphorically huge. What a poignant moment.
I remember waiting for my 3rd, rocked by how quickly I’d forgotten how tiny, how magic.
Enjoy!
I just gave away the high chair, baby toys, a stroller and a ton of clothes. It was very surreal to think that the time of babies is over in our house.
I love the word nostalgic… perhaps because I am? I have gone through this clothes-swap 3 times now and with our last girl now 2, we have given away lots of baby clothes, but I too have a little box with a couple special pieces from each of them – little outfits that captured their respective personalities! And now that my sister-in-law is about to welcome her first baby girl, we will be giving her our crib and our rocker… and I’m having a hard time grasping the concept of NO CRIB IN THE HOUSE!
Chaos v. order? Order stands no chance as Chaos has been dancing around our house for years!
Yes, these are the chaos years. At times, I squint and imagine the years to come, the years on the “other side.” I imagine these years – when the girls are older or even out of the house – will be far more ordered and predictable. This thought fills me with a shred of peace, but more than that makes me realize how much I love this crazy time, the utter and exquisite tumult of life with little ones. Wouldn’t trade it
this makes my heart happy.
I love going through baby things and yes, it makes me very nostalgic. How wonderful that you know you will get to make use of them again with a new precious baby!
I’m all for getting ready early! I don’t think we can ever truly be ready for events like the birth of a child. It’s impossible to prepare for the unknown – for a person you know so well, and yet have never met. But how boring would life be if we could prepare for it all?
I feel like my life is one constant jumbled mess of trying to prepare myself, trying to be ready, and then never really being ready at all. Doesn’t stop me from getting back up and preparing for the next event, but I often find myself thinking “I wasn’t ready for this… not yet”
No matter how much I prepared, it just didn’t seem real until it happened.
Great post! It must be a very exciting time for you and your family! At least you know how to prepare! I don’t even know where to get started!!:)
My body needed to practice. With each sorting through the chaos I knew I was getting a tad closer to delivering. Well, in hindsight I figured this out. At the time I stayed in denial. But that practice removed layer after layer of the cloud.
I love the smells. They woke me up. And inched me toward the committment. I was hesitant.
Oh, how lovely. And now a question for YOU: does the waiting and anticipation feel different this time? Better? Worse? Or just… different? In some ways, it must be easier: You know what to expect. You’ve done this before. You know the drill. In other ways, it must be harder: you know what to expect. You’ve done this before. You know the drill! In all seriousness… I think six weeks is very soon. Which I am guessing is a good thing, because pretty soon you’re really going to want to just get there, already! So excited for you and your family. I love the idea of three girls…
How exciting, how magical! Of course we always think about how an expectant mother gets ready for the baby’s arrival, but I particularly enjoyed how you described your girls and their anticipation. Being big sisters together will add to the bond they already share.
I hope you have time to get plenty of rest in these final weeks!
How lovely Aidan. I love the photographs and I am a planner so this post particularly hit home. The smell of baby clothes and those early moment mementos are so precious.
So excited for you and your family. I don’t think we can ever be fully prepared, although I certainly try to be! But despite my best intentions, life takes its own course. xo
Six weeks is so, so soon. At first three was so hard for me. My husband was traveling for business so much and I was home with a newborn, 2, and 4 year old.I was getting after the girls for every doll, puzzle and cheerio on the floor. I quickly decided the yelling was useless and made us all sad. So for a few years my home was somewhat of a disaster, but I put blinders on and was just happy with my three babies.
This made me so teary-eyed. So precious and hopeful and wonderful. Full of anticipation.
This baby is so lucky!
Oh yay, you are so close! I started going through the baby clothes this weekend too. Can you believe they are so small? I just cannot get over it! What else are you doing to prepare for the big day?
6 weeks is super soon! Very excited for you