Tiny Dancer
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Can you spot Big Girl? She’s the one with the fabulously long hair I refuse to cut 
Her first ballet recital. Daddy and I linger in the back. Our smiles are wide.
I watch her flit by, a brilliant blur of soft pink. She is remarkably graceful and confident and I’m swollen with pride.
My little girl leaps across the floor, arms out, loose locks flying. An indelible image. Of youth. Of innocence. Of freedom.
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Is there anything better than the feeling of pride? Do you think I should cut her hair or do you applaud my Project Rapunzel?
As long as the beautiful long hair is looked after properly, it’s gorgeous. I had waist length hair or longer until I was 18. My sister has beautiful long ringlets, but doesn’t really take good enough care of them and it’s a real shame.
The photos are very sweet
Oh, what a joyous feeling! I really don’t think there is much on this earth that compares to watching your children accomplish something, and seeing their pride in what they’ve done.
As for the hair, I applaud your dedication! My hair was past my waist until I was twelve, and I couldn’t even comb it myself because it was so long and heavy. My mother washed it, combed it, and braided it for me every night. I don’t think I would have the patience for it – I’ve already told my girls their hair doesn’t get longer than what Mamma can take of easily until they are old enough to tend it themselves!
Darling. On the hair—like so many aspects of life, if you can keep the tangles out, enjoy it.
Also, my three girls love ballet. Watching them dance is at the top of my favorite things to do.
I love watching performances by my own daughter. It fills me up in a way I can’t describe. Pixie hair cuts are so cute on little girls. I vote for a cut, but either way, she is beautiful. Love the pics.
I procrastinated for so long on IEP’s first haircut. I can only imagine the reticence I would feel if I had a little girl whose hair fell all the way down her back (toddler ringlets still intact). Much as you felt relief at chopping your own long locks last fall, I suspect you will reach a point with Big Girl’s hair when the relief of a trim will outweigh the attachment to the length. I can assure you, though, reluctant as I was with my baby’s first haircut, I loved the results and actually thought he looked even cuter after a few strategic snips. So whenever the time comes, it may not be as hard as you think.
I love everything about a dance recital– as someone who took dance classes my entire life I have to say thank you for sharing these pictures. Very nostalgic and fun to look at! Also love the long hair…my hair was long for a long time when I was little! I applaud your efforts! My sister didn’t get that luxury because she screamed too much when mom tried to comb it, so she got short hair instead
We didn’t cut my daughter’s hair until she was 5. It was long and had these incredible curls at the bottom. When wet those curls extended beyond her bottom so we decided it was time.
She cut ten inches off of her hair and donated it to Locks of Love. It was a great way to help her help someone else and it didn’t take long for it to grow back.
Although truth be told we kept it shorter than it had been. It is still long, but she doesn’t fight with her mother about brushing it like she used to.
Side note. In my mind that is a particularly feminine trait. I have memories of my mother fighting with my sisters over brushing snarls out of their hair.
No offense meant – maybe you asked their parents’ permission, I don’t know – but it struck me that you seem perfectly okay posting a photo of the faces of Big Girl’s classmates, whereas you generally seem skittish to show photos of your own girls. It might be that you don’t want to reveal the identities of your own children (perfectly okay!), and you think it’s okay to post the occasional photo of others whose lives aren’t so deeply revealed here on your blog, but I was distracted from the lovely story here by what seemed to me to be a possible slip-up on your part.
Summer – I read your comment on my phone while I was in a store with the girls picking up Big Girl’s new glasses. I read your words not once but twice and felt my heart sink a tiny bit. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because you’re right and I missed something, or “slipped up” as you say. I looked at the photo once more and sure enough there were some images of other kids’ faces. I knew this when I published it, but decided that the overall picture was considerably blurry and that the faces really weren’t identifiable. I’m not sure you noticed it, but Big Girl’s face was about as visible in the mirror as the faces of these other children. Anyway, I pulled the picture down and put up another (less good) image because I figured maybe I had made the wrong call? (What is the wrong call? I don’t pretend to know.)
I think my heart sank a tiny bit in that tiny eyeglass store because I feel particularly vulnerable. Alas, this has been a relatively rough week for me in this bloggy neck of the woods. All of this has me thinking about how I want to approach blogging going forward. I adore this place and writing daily and examining existence but I am feeling somewhat self-conscious and sensitive of late. Again, I’m not sure why.
I am contemplating, just contemplating, turning comments off on this blog. I’ve been thinking about this for a long while and think it would reduce the anxiety I sometimes feel in connection with blogging. On the other hand, the idea of doing this saddens me as the conversations that manifest here are dear to me… I don’t know.
Anyway, I am rambling. I apologize for my inconsistency (if it really was that) and hope that I didn’t offend you or any other readers by posting a quasi-recognizable image of random children. Again, I’m doing the best I can.
Okay, I’m off to play with the girls
Hey Aidan,
)
FYI, I take a lot of photos and often catch random people and I’ve often wondered if I’d have to get a release form or something before I post. I looked up the answer (I don’t remember where) and unless you’re making money from the photo or using it to advertise something, you really don’t have to worry about getting permission, especially when they’re just background people and not the main subject of your photo. It happens all the time in professional publications (and most of us are really excited if we happen to get caught in the background of a professional photo… unless we’re having a really bad hair day or something.
I know a lot of people who blog have a policy similar to yours… avoiding giving names or photos of their kids… to protect the privacy of the kids, especially if it’s the main subject of their blog. Personally, I’ve never worried too much about posting an occasional family photo (who doesn’t want to show off their gorgeous children?) but I know whenever I’ve done it, I’ve often wondered if I’m somehow exposing my kids to some scary, cyber boogie man or breaking some code of good-mother-ethics.
Bottom line is, I wouldn’t worry too much about photos which reveal faces of other random children. (At least that’s my opinion.)
As for comments? Hey, it’s a rare blogger that gets so many comments! That means you’re a great writer. And it’s often the people who comment who bring in new readers. It’s true that you will get the occasional controversy, but it is how you respond to that and the discussion that will keep people engaged. From what I’ve seen, you have held your own with gracious responses to all comments. Keep it up!
Hi Aidan –
Thanks for taking the time to respond. I hope that my comment didn’t throw you too off-guard; as I said originally, I didn’t mean to offend you (but I totally understand that my comment raised sensitive issues!). I think I was just struck by the contrast between the photo in question – where REAL, crisp, beautiful girls were shown in all their glorious detail – and your other, more artistic and dreamy-hazy photos of the pseudonymous girls. I agree with Yvette that occasional photos of random “strangers” are nothing to worry about; perhaps the photo stuck out to me because you have been so openly careful about protecting your babies (as you’re certainly entitled to be!). Admittedly, I am not (yet?) a mother, so I can’t fathom to guess how I would handle the task of carefully calibrating what to reveal and when. I think, though, that you’ve done so with grace and transparency, and that’s all we readers can ask of you.
I very much hope that you won’t turn off comments on your blog (or stop publishing photos of your girls – they’re absolutely precious! – or other aspects of your life). Even though I don’t often post in the comments, I love that you often include questions in your posts, and it seems only natural that readers would want to think about their own answers…and even if some don’t often share, others do! And that kind of exchange is oh-so-valuable in making a blog a valuable place to really reflect in a way that’s not just one-directional.
I love Big Girl’s beautiful, long hair. I had very long hair until I was eight at which point it was cut just above my shoulders. I can’t recall if it was my mom’s decision or mine, but I cried for hours afterward. Thank you for posting these lovely pictures and triggering a faded memory that makes me smile.
I love her long hair
Tiny Dancer is the nickname I have for my little girl who is now 10. She has been dancing at a very well regarded dance school since she was 3 and has blossomed through it. You will no doubt have many more of these recitals to look forward to! My daughter got the hair trait from the other side of her genes, and cannot grow it very long and thick. I would love it if she could, so I say on with Project Rapunzel, but well cared for locks for sure!
Enjoy the day!
Erin
I had waist-length hair until I was in second grade. At that point, the daily battles between me, my tangles, and my hair brush-wielding mother convinced us that it was time for a chop. (My dad was less certain; I remember he bought me flowers trying to convince me to keep it long…what an odd memory.)
What does Big Girl think of her long locks?
I’m not sure what to say about the issue of the photo. As you know, I don’t use my kids’ names or images of them on my blog, but I often use stock images of children from Flickr’s Creative Commons section. (Is that a double standard? Now I’m wondering too.)
As for turning off the comments, I know I would miss the conversations here that you so ably start. But I also understand the need to write – and if you feel like your ability to write what you want is being somewhat stifled by considerations for the comments, then it might be worth turning them off on a trial basis.
Ultimately, this is your space – an extension of your home. You have to decorate it in the way that feels best to you. I know that I, for one, will keep reading no matter what.
I think you should let her decide what she wants for her hair. I guess if I had a girl with long hair I would let her do with it what she wanted as long as she took care of it – or allowed me to help take care of it.
Aren’t ballet recitals fun?
I love your little girl’s long hair. I don’t have kids, so there may be some kind of rule about kids’ hair I’m unaware of, but I say as long as she likes it, and you like and are willing to help her take care of it (or she can take care of it herself – I don’t know how old Big Girl is, or what age they do that, not being a momma myself) keep it long.
I hope you don’t turn off the comments. I so admire people like you who write so honestly and put it out there for the masses. One of the reasons I don’t keep my own blog is because I’m terrified of negative feedback. And it’s such a risk to put that out there and let anyone comment, knowing that people will disagree with you and some of them may be harsh about it. But I love reading your blog, and the conversations that result – most of which seem to be respectful even when there’s differing opinions (I don’t always read all the comments). But I’ll sure understand if you feel like you have to turn them off – for a little while or permanently. I’ll keep reading anyway!