Are Less Attractive People Nicer?
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So. I had no plans to post today. I am trying to indulge in a mini-break from blogging. Also, I am racing to get out the door to attend Big Girl’s bowling field trip for camp. (Yay by the way. I adore bowling!)
Anyway. I was zooming around my bathroom, getting dressed, listening to the radio as I often do in the morning and I heard the following question which of course piqued my interest:
Are less attractive people nicer?
The conversation was about how “hot people” often have “bitch faces,” (their words, not mine!); that beautiful people often seem miserable and unfriendly. One argued that “hot people” are approached or bothered more frequently (they were discussing this in the context of the gym) so they try to keep people away my wearing some kind of scowl. Conversely, these radio show hosts (on z100 for those in the area) posited that “less attractive” people are nicer on some level because they can afford to be, or because they need to “work harder” for attention and interaction.
Hmmm.
Anyway. I’m not sure what I think about all of this, but it struck me as quite the provocative, if superficial, topic so I thought I’d share. And let’s be clear: I DO NOT endorse the theory that “less attractive” people are “nicer.” Personally, I know some absolutely and objectively exquisite people who are endlessly kind to everyone and I also know some really unattractive people who are completely terrible and obnoxious. And? I’m not sure what “less attractive” really means or what it means ultimately to be “nice”?
Anyway. Thought this was kind of interesting. So while I bowl with four-year-olds, I hope you will all weigh in. And sorry for the lack of a picture up top. As I said, I’m racing…
In your experience, are less attractive people nicer? Do you think there is any correlation between physical attractiveness and personality? Do you also love bowling (and controversial topics)?
Perhaps, and this is just a theory, it is because they feel that their worth lies in their physical features, which we all know are fleeting. Perhaps it isn’t a matter of being nicer, necessarily, so much as it is a matter of being happier. If the world around you, and in turn you yourself, define worth based on the cover of the book, it would be easy to feel empty inside, to feel like you are not known for who you are, simply for what you look like. That sounds like an empty sad existence to me.
On the other hand, if you perhaps don’t have as much physical beauty, but you have that inner light, and you are appreciated and loved for your personality, and people take the time to get to know you because they are not awestruck by the appearance… well, that just sounds like a life I would rather have.
Again, this is all a theory. But if a pretty face is simply expected to be nothing more than a pretty face, why would we be surprised when there isn’t as much substance behind it?
Hmm… I would imagine “hot” people are used to having things handed to them and perhaps are not as grateful as others. I suppose if their looks got them a lot, they might develop a “better than thou” attitude.
I wouldn’t say all attractive people are not nice though. “Cute” seems to be a mix of attractive physical features as well as a nice personality. You don’t find many “cute” bitches!
While I agree that there are very attractive people who are nice and unattractive people who are not, I also think the “niceness factor” when applied to the opposite sex, can vary and give different messages.
Some people will view “nice” as an invitation to pursue a more intimate relationship (either a friendship or more) and if you don’t want that, it feels awkward (or perhaps “not nice”) to let them know that.
Attactive people are probably more often in the situation where their “niceness” is misconstrued for romantic interest, and so may more often come off as more aloof in order to avoid this.
On the other hand, unattractive people probably often suffer from lower self-esteem and probably have dealt with much more rejection than attractive people, so they may not always be overly friendly, either.
In the end, while attractiveness probably does have something to do with our confidence and how we act, I don’t think you can really apply a rule of thumb to this one…
I love this topic, but I hate what my response is going to be. At least I really dislike the main person that it made me think of.
I work with a woman who was in a car accident that disfigured her face. She is also one of the meanest people that I have ever met. Kind to you. Awful when you are away. And I hate to say that I was surprised by her lack of empathy.
I guess I naively and wrongly thought that because of this accident and because of her appearance she would be kind-that she would at least try to see what other people are going through.
This is not the case.
So, even though I used to think that looks had something to do with kindness I no longer do. I now think that empathy and kindness go hand-in-hand no matter what you look like.
Thanks for the great topic and for making me think on such a hot Chicago day!
I remember reading the opposite, from psychologic studies (sorry I can’t remember details and have no reference)…that when shown faces of attractive or unattractive people, subjects unequivocally thought more favorably of the attractive ones—nicer, more competent, more successful. I think it was related to the idea that facial symettry (a key component of attractiveness) inspired a “pleasing” feeling.
Maybe there is a difference between ‘attractive’ and ‘hot’? Where ‘hot’ (which to me always implies attractiveness to the opposite sex which may be related to physical attributes, attitue, and fashion, not necessarily “classic beauty”; there are plenty of women labeled as “hot” that I don’t think are particularly “pretty”). If ‘hot’ is more a state of mind or a persona ( a persona that may include a bitchy attitude) than an actual inborn physical feature, then it makes more sense that people who think of themselves that way may not come across as nice.
What would you put in the photo anyway? I think attractiveness, to me, has so much to do with confidence. Could confidence come across as cocky? Maybe. I hate the premise that less attractive or good-looking people are nicer as if they need to be to make up for their looks? Interesting yet somewhat upsetting question.
Straight to point, my answer is no – as with most people, I have met some really nice people and some really horrid people. Attractiveness has no thing to with it, up bringing may! That’s only a guess.
By the way I love bowling!
I don’t think that there is any correlation between the two.
I must be hideous because my husband is always telling me I’m too nice for my own good.
Yes, I do love bowling and controversial topics. And I’m thinking that the two probably go pretty well together!
As for weighing in on this topic: I don’t really think that there is much of a correlation between attractiveness and personality. Both attractiveness and personality are incredibly complex and I believe that a number of factors create them. Whether or not one is considered attractive is made up of some biological/genetic factors but it is also about how one presents oneself: confidence, fitness, and personal upkeep also play a huge role. And then personality: who even knows exactly how that is developed? All I know is that I have noticed that I tend to pick up things from the people I surround myself. I don’t really like hearing comments like these — the are usually gross over exaggerations and generalizations based on a few negative encounters. In my humble opinions, statements like this sound be avoided whenever possible.