On Masks & Telling “The Truth”
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“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask , and he will tell you the truth.”
Oscar Wilde
I like these words because they make me think, and wonder. Indeed these are the best kind of words, no?
They make me think of the masks we wear everyday. The ones we are aware of and the ones we don without knowing. They make me think of all the ways we hide from each other, and ourselves, and the world. They make me think about the power of language, of how much it matters how we speak, and communicate. They make me think of how we often learn most about other people not by asking them questions but by watching them live.
These words make me wonder about whether this world, this blogging world, is a big masquerade party where we all peer out from behind masks of our own choosing, obscuring artfully and artificially the people we are for fear that others might actually see who we really are. Are these screens just that – screens – or are they means of masking essence, of morphing self?
And what is “the truth” anyway? Isn’t it as fluid as we are, ever-changing? Mask or no mask, could we tell it if we tried?
(Deepish thoughts on a Tuesday morning. Indulge me please.)
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What do you think of Wilde’s words? Do you love words that make you think and wonder? Do you think we all wear masks everyday? Is this avoidable? Is this blogging world a virtual masquerade party of sorts? What does it mean to tell “the truth?” How cool is the mask that Big Girl made at camp?
I think just the contrary…..when I blog, I feel as if my mask is being removed. I blog with bluntness and sometimes painful honesty, but at times I read other blogs and think to myself, “I know there is something else there…..”
I think it’s impossible to not have parts of ourselves hidden behind these screens. It’s just not 3D enough, you know? BUT. As Amanda said, some of us tell our truths here too, as authentically as the screen will allow. I’m passionate about that, as you probably know. I want transparency here and a big part of that is hoping that others will be moved to not hide in their own lives. There is so much freedom in honesty.
I think I agree with Amanda. When I’m blogging, I feel able to be very truthful (though since family and ‘RL’ friends read my blog, I sometimes have to avoid certain subjects altogether, but that’s another matter). The blogs that aren’t? They fall flat, don’t they? The blogs I like to read are the ones that speak truths that I have felt in my life, and that I can nod along with.
I feel less sure of ‘taking off the mask’ when face-to-face with people, I think. More likely to feel out the waters first. Maybe I just feel most comfortable behind a keyboard.
I think that both types of bloggers exist – those whose truth spills out online, and those whose persona is artfully crafted. Whether or not we use our blogs as a space to “come cleam,” as it were, the fact remains that we choose what we disclose online. We choose which photos of ourselves we share. We choose which stories we tell. We choose which personal blunders we expose. And while I do think we can learn a great deal about one another through blogging, I don’t think this medium ever reveals the whole person.
Certainly, there is an argument to be made that those who know us in person may be similarly in the dark. People who know me in real life, but not online, know much about how I comport myself on a daily basis, but little about the thoughts that swirl in my mind. For blogging friends the opposite is true. Perhaps to know me best is to know me in both places.