Were You a Good Teen?
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Every now and then, I flash forward – oh about thirteen years – to a time when we will have three teenagers at home.
Seventeen. Fifteen. Thirteen.
Three teenagers.
Three teenage girls. Who will likely be best friends (yay!) and collaborate brilliantly to outsmart their very confused and well-meaning parents (oh no!).
Truth be told, the idea of my girls being older makes me very excited. Part of me can’t wait for there to be a whole lot of sleeping around here and for my girls to be big and conversational and, well, my buddies.
But another part of me is totally overwhelmed by the idea of having three teenage girls. Will Husband and I know what to do? Will they be good creatures like my sisters and I were – working hard, respecting our peers and parents, causing only tiny bits of totally acceptable trouble? Or will they give us a run for our money and cause those good old wrinkles to come and come fast?
I assume the former, I do, but I fear the latter.
Guess we will have to wait a few years and see, huh?
(Fingers crossed.)
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What were you like as a teenager? Did you rebel at all? Did you and your siblings conspire to cause your parents any trouble? If you are a parent to a teenager, how goes it? Do you too worry about how you will handle your kids once they are older?
My sisters and I were those exact ages once, and my parents survived!! So will you!
We never really conspired to cause any major trouble, but my mom always says that girls, especially smart & independent ones, are complicated and wonderful.
I was considered a good kid and teen, but still did a few things I hope my own kids won’t repeat. Wishful thinking, I’m sure. I have two daughters (15 and 12), and younger sons, and so far so good. I don’t think the real worries begin until they are off driving on their own, though — which means I have about 10 months of sanity left
I still remember crying right around my twelfth birthday, because I didn’t want to be a teenager the next year. When my mom pressed what I meant by “being a teenager,” I said that I didn’t want to have to be rebellious, and only interested in boys and makeup instead of Legos and books, and stupid (most of my older sister’s friends were NOT good role models). She somehow managed to keep a straight face when she told me I didn’t have to be a teenager if I didn’t want, I could just get older. I was so relieved. So I never, ever felt like a “teenager,” and I’m kind of hoping my girls are the same way – just getting older, instead of indulging in everything society tells us we have to expect from teens. And I really, really hope they are best friends all their lives.
Umm, I didn’t get into much trouble as a teen, but with my parents, my mom in particular, I was very, very outspoken. I am nervous about the teenage years with my daughters, but am hoping that things will be bearable and easy for me. Right!
As a teenager I never got into trouble, but I know I was very outspoken, not good with a caribbean mother, so I was always ducking the looks and the swipes. My teenage daughter is my replica! I know exactly what she is thinking and about to do, which amazes her. Love her to pieces even when she is annoying, as I am sure I am to her on occasions.
I have to agree that girls are different, my son as a teenager was a breeze.
You will have a great time when your girls are teenagers, they’ll make you laugh with their wit, sometimes crazily annoying and just on occasions cause for worry.
Interesting question and I just broke out in hives thinking about the ages of your daughters as teens. I was a “good” teen in that I got good grades and didn’t get into any major trouble. I did, however, separate from my mother telling her at one point “you should try to be my mother and not my friend” at age 14. I guess she would say I wasn’t good. I was told I have a “tween” recently and I was taken aback. I love the boys ages, 7 and 9 but worry about the complications of older ages: girls, technology, time on their own etc.
In the grand scheme of things I was a good teen, but it was definitely the nadir of my relationship with my parents. They were always doing really annoying things like giving me a curfew and not letting me borrow their car whenever I wanted.
As your fellow eventual mom to three stair step teenagers, I hope we’ll share coping techniques a decade from now.
I was the worst kind of troublemaker- smart enough to manipulate things. I don’t mean that to sound like my parents were idiots because they were far from it.
I am sure that I got away with some things because they let me, but there is a lot that I successfully hid from them.
Got drunk in school a bunch of times, snuck my girlfriend home during lunch break etc.
Not necessarily the worst “crimes” but it could have ended very differently than it did.
And then you’ll have three girls in college!
I was unfortunately a very rebellious and unruly teen although you wouldn’t really guess it by just look at it. My parents still don’t know about most of the trouble I caused in high school. I was a good student and I didn’t really ask for much: I was a hard worker and I wanted to pave my own path in life. But that also meant I didn’t want to be told what to do by my parents. I made my own rules and followed my heart — this meant frequently chasing after boys in inappropriate settings. When i look back on my teen years, I see a lot of regret: a big part of that is tied to the damage I did on my relationship with my own mom. These days it is difficult for me to come close to making up for the damage that I did.
My sister and I are three years apart, and I think the toughest year for my parents was when Kate turned 13 and I turned 16 (our birthdays are just days apart, too). As I was learning how to drive, my sister was trying to survive middle school — and then preparing for high school. But when I reached senior status (and proved I was a good driver), my sister could ride with me to school… thus elevating her beyond normal freshman status.
My mom and dad joke about what we were like as teens, but I never really rebelled — beyond the usual sulking, eye-rolling, etc. As adults, my mom is one of my best friends — and when your girls are older, Aidan, you’ll have built-in shopping buddies! It’ll be glorious, promise.