Back to Blogging!
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Many of you know I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point. And yet. I tossed one in up there, in today’s post title, to convey certain things after my month long break from this place. Confidence! Clarity! Enthusiasm! Energy!
Well. It would be nice to feel these things and only these things. Instead? Instead I am also feeling a few others. Insecurity. Confusion. Apathy. Exhaustion.
Ah, life.
The plan, exquisitely plotted, was to pause and ponder the cosmos and cuddle my creatures and then to make a regal return. To proclaim how much I have missed this place, this prose. To blaze forward on this blogging trail. To thank you, my lovely readers, for allowing me the respite that has only made my cyber-appetites more robust.
Alas.
Reality. I am back. Because I said I would be. And also because I truly want to be. And yet. The past month has opened my eyes. To a world without screens and schedules. To the sweet sunshine of domestic days. To the questions that linger if we stop long enough to let them. To the complexities, the cracks, the treasures that wait to be examined, enjoyed.
The point is that I have changed. Subtly. Surely. Evolution is underway. It always is, it always will be, but in the past month I have indulged in feeling its rhythms – unpatterned and promising. In the past month I have listened. To the heartbeat – wild, whispered, wondered – of progress.
And so. This jumping back in is more complicated, and really more wonderful, than I imagined. I am happy to be back because I missed thinking and writing and memorializing my moments. And I missed all of you – your quiet eyes and wise words, your willingness to walk with me. All I can ask is that you respect that there is conflict and confusion here, beautiful and brewing. Conflict that will translate, I hope, I trust, I know, into creativity and questions. Conflict that will compel change.
Because change is good.
So, class, your rambling Professor of Insecurities is back for another semester of soul-searching and psyche-plumbing. And she, this creature, has so many stories to tell.
And so she will.
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Hi, all! Feel free to welcome me back to the bloggy wilderness in the comment box. To be perfectly frank, I am craving a hearty confidence boost on this my first day back. How was August for you? Do you feel the seeds of change in your own life? How cute is my bitty blogger above? In this picture, she is penning a precocious post about the endearing neuroses of her ever-silly mother. By the way, she is six months today! Happy half birthday, my girl 
Welcome back! Please know your conflict and confusion is all very familiar to me … I think you know that!
August was wonderful here, busy and slow, full of happy moments and also a growing panic about summer’s end. But here we go – another school year. xoxo
Consider yourself affirmed! Welcome back, Aidan.
Yeah, what she said!
Six months! Hard to believe it’s been half a year already since she made her grand entrance into this world.
If I am honest, August was a lousy month for me. A lot of changes – some good, some with promise to be good later, but pretty crappy right at this moment – and a lot of exhaustion. I am thankful to see September arrive.
And thankful to see you back, friend.
Yay, you’re back! Can’t wait to hear what life has brought you.
Welcome back! I can definitely relate to the conflicting feelings related to returning after a break. Next week will be my first five-day week at my desk job since my son was born three months ago.
I look forward to your new posts!
Welcome back Aidan! I’ve missed sipping my morning coffee and reading your words. But I do appreciate the freedom of letting it go for awhile…my own blog has been rather neglected lately, but August was such a busy month, and one I spent largely outdoors…I’m thinking as the fall weather hits I’ll feel like writing more. Or maybe not. So it’s good to read your open, honest words and the way you share how you struggle with this as well.
Welcome Back! You’ve been missed. Your blog is one of my first reads in the morning and I missed your words from my own routine. Glad you feel rejuvenated.
Welcome back, Aidan — we missed you and your inspiring words! Though they don’t always have to be inspiring. Sometimes just knowing that we’re all out here doing the best we can, taking things moment by moment, is enough of a boost to get me through the day. I look forward to your musings — no matter the subject or time or length between posts. Do things your way.
Welcome back. So wonderful to see this post. As others have commented, I too understand the ambivalence you feel. Sometimes just living life – and taking a break from the constant reflection upon it – is so refreshing. I’m glad you enjoyed your month off. (I’m looking forward to my own bloggy break later this year after the baby is born.) Take your time settling back in and feel free to bring all of your angst and confusion to this place. We will understand.
Welcome back, Aidan! I’m not going to lie, I checked your blog each day to see if you posted a little something. So glad you’re back!
Glad you’re back! I’ve had big changes over the past month and feel so strange to be reading your blog in a new place and a new setting than where I did the last time you posted. I like how you phrased it above that “evolution is underway.” Looking forward to having you back in my life everyday as I undergo my own changes, insecurities and charter the unknown of my own life.
Welcome back, Aidan!
Happy birthday to your little precious one.
you were missed.
Welcome back!
Welcome back! Those chubby cheeks are just a little too much for my sad empty uterus to take. (Kidding. A little.)
I believe that change is natural when we take a step back and look over our lives. I also find that children open our eyes to the possibility of change as we realize just how much they mean to us. And husbands help, a little.
It is so nice to see you and I do hope we get to here more about your second book…
Conflict. Uncertainty. Change. (Me, nodding.) You’ve articulated so well what I’m feeling. That same sensation is swimming through me. (And the cheeks on her sweet girl–I’m tempted to hop onto the NJ Transit and slip into Manhattan to just get a slice of her.) xo
So glad to have you back in blogland, though I do understand the need to be away from time to time!!! (3 exclaimation points)
I am in a dry spell of sorts on my blog and not feeling any direction so maybe we can muddle through it together!
Welcome back! I can definitely relate to the confusion and conflict – my August (and whole summer, really) has been full of it. Hoping to have some things untangled soon. I’m happy to be able to read your musings again!
Welcome back, you have been missed. However, glad that you took the time to just be you! I also have to confess I checked just in case….
Just a note, we all change and will keep on changing it has to happen, otherwise life would be boring.
Spot on Prof! You are one day early (classes commence tomorrow) and this ivy is feeling more insecure than ever. Welcome back! Your exceptionally superb wisdom was truly missed!
Welcome back (I’ll use the exclamation point too)! Sorry I am “late” for class.
Yay! So glad you’re back! I was starting to worry. Oh what a mom. Looking forward to your writing again and already swooning over the 1/2′s baby pictures. What a doll.