On Courage
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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
E.E. Cummings
Are you courageous? Have you grown up? Have you become who it is you really are?
My answer to all three of these questions is the same. My answer: I don’t know.
I don’t know if I am courageous. Sometimes, I think so. Sometimes, I think absolutely not.
I don’t know whether I’ve truly grown up. I have three kids and endless responsibility, but I often feel, and act, like a little girl.
And who am I? Who am I really? Goodness, I don’t know. Isn’t this the hardest question of all? (And the one we should never stop asking?)
Even as I write this, this tiny ode to not knowing, I realize something. Something important. At the core of me, the very core of me, are questions. In my heart, my soul, my mind, there is a rich and unique uncertainty that I would never trade.
This is something, right? To know this much? To know this little bit about who I really am, or might be, or might be becoming?
Maybe by being here, by asking, by exploring, I am being courageous, being me, really me, after all.
Are you courageous? Have you grown up? Have you become who it is you really are?
I think about this often, this dissonance between a life that seems very adult and a personal, internal reality that still feels like that of a child. I always joke that I’m waiting for the real mom to come home. This is getting more and more salient as my kids get older, ask more complicated questions, begin to feel out where the limits are. And I don’t think I’m courageous. Wish I was. xoxo
Sometimes I feel like I should be better about accepting myself for who I am- faults and all. I will never be like other people but they will also never be like me. I think it takes a lot of courage to just love yourself just the way you are. I also don’t feel like a grown up and often comment I don’t feel the way I thought I would at this age!
It takes courage to look in the mirror and ask the tough questions of ourselves.
I don’t think that we can answer the question of have we become who it is we really are with complete certainty.
There are too many changes that come along with life. That is not a bad thing. You can’t know what it means to be a parent and what kind you will be until you do it. You may have ideas, but it is not the same.
I feel like I am close to becoming who I want to be during this time of life but I can’t say if that guy will be the same at 50 as he is at 42.
I don’t think I’ll ever really grow up. Yes I am older, yes I have responsibilities, but inside I still feel excited about things, even silly things. There is so much more I want to do and dream about.
As for courageous, sometimes I am so timid it makes me stop in my tracks, however, I did decide to move to NYC all the way from London, because I love it so much!
Wow, that is courageous. I can only imagine the moments before making that decision.
I have yet to grow up, but I have gained a better understanding as to who I am. As far as becoming someone, I have become me already. Doing what I want in life is the real challenge and I’m having a heck of a time facing them.