Friday Night Wives
- 02
- 17
- 12
We met when we had tiny babies and no clue. We parked our enormous strollers side by side. We carried our creatures and diaper bags into that room on the third floor with the rainbow alphabet carpet. We kicked off our shoes and settled in, bleary-eyed, hopeful, scared, confused, at the beginning of so much. Through all the crying and the craziness, the music and the nervous dancing, the sleeplessness and the struggle and the concomitant and incomparable sweetness, we acknowledged each other.
We found each other.
We found each other and we talked. At first, our conversations came in broken pieces. Words slipped into the small spaces between wailing and wondering. We talked about sleep schedules and feeding times. We talked about milestones – words and teeth and pacifiers and crawling and walking. Our sentences were laced with camaraderie and competition and care. We complimented each other and supported each other and reassured each other. We understood each other.
As our babies have grown and as new babies have come, we’ve grown even closer. It’s taken some time, but we have learned how to talk about things other than our children. We have learned how to see past the pretty smiles and ask questions. Are you okay? Can I help you? Am I okay? Can you help me? We have learned how to be honest with each other. I love my kid, but I miss myself. I’m not sure who I am these days. I want to be something more than a mother and wife. We have learned how to embrace complexity, how to explore it collectively, how to fashion solutions, how to admit when there really are none. We have learned.
And most importantly? We have learned how to stop and sit together and laugh. Just us. We have learned how to be with each other without our kids and our men, how to get to know each other as women, as people.
Last night. Last night was one I will not forget. It was a night of white balloons and chocolate cake and friendship. It was a night of honesty and happiness and real celebration. Celebration of life, of love, of time, of change, of us.
And the singing and flaming lotus flower? Legendary.
Happy birthday, J. And cheers to chance meetings and all of us Friday Night Wives. Oh, and to a certain Friday Night Husband who tolerates us all.
Did you meet some new friends when you had your first child? Have you stayed close? Are you able to talk about things other than your children? Do you think that it is easy to forget how important friendship is in adulthood?
Ahhhh, the Friday night wives… so proud to be one of them!!
I love you Aidan, for your words, for your honesty, your friendship and for this wonderful blog.
I don’t know how I would have survived these past 5 years, which has been challenging at times for all of us, without good girlfriends. We are lucky at the Friday Wives club that many of us have little, or in my case no filters so our friendships have always been honest. I hope all your readers are lucky to have good girlfriends like we do – I know I can’t live without u guys.
I have said it again and again, to me this blog is so much more than what’s happening today, but more of an archive of memories that we will cherish years from now when we can’t remember all the details anymore… your girls will have a past that is written which is a huge gift! We will go back to the achieves for a peek at this legendary candle when we are 70 years old!
Last night was about friendship and love. As an only child, having lived in far away places, my friends have become my family. The Friday Wives are my family. We are so lucky.
Happy Birthday J.
Hope your weekend is filled with many lotus flower candles!
To many more celebrations together…
I am proud to admit that I am also one of those wives. We have been on quite an emotional journey which has brought out both such an incredible inner strength and a powerful bond. A bond of empowerment that allows us to support each other especially when we slip. I am very thankful for the love and friendship that exists in my life.
Happy Birthday my fabulous friend!
Aiden, I read this and felt almost melancholy … in the good kind of way like you do after reading something fantastic … and I realized it’s because what you’ve described is SO similar to my little tribe of friends, and yet I haven’t written about them – on my blog or elsewhere – yet. As the only writer in my group of mama-friends I want to be sure to pay tribute to the women in my circle the way you have here – so thanks for inspiring me to do so. Beautiful post.