Posted in: ‘Pregnancy’ Category

Name My Sister’s Baby Girl!

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You know just how much I love baby name posts. (Here’s the post where I asked you to help me name Little Girl. It’s the all-time most popular post on this blog!) And I know just how much you love baby name posts. So let’s get down to business…

As many of you know, Sister C is expecting her second child (yes, a girl!) in early March. She’s actually due on Little Girl’s birthday which is pretty cool, I think. Anyway, she’s getting close. A mere six weeks away. And she and her husband are still without a name for this little chickadee.

That’s where we all come in.

Okay, a little information to get our baby name radars pointed in the right direction. Sister C’s two-year-old son, known affectionately as Baby Bulldog on this blog, has a wonderful and unique name in real life. I will not disclose his name, but I will tell you that it is a three-syllable Irish surname that is quite obscure when used as a first name. (Think: Garrity, Gulliver, Callahan.) Their last name is two syllables, ends in an “y” sound. (Like: Rowley, Donnelley, Terry.)

I asked C to describe the kind of name they are looking for. And she said they are looking for a name that fits the following three criteria:

1. A name that is either unusual or not very popular;

2. A name that is two or three syllables; and

3. A name that is both strong and feminine.

I know this is still somewhat confusing and cryptic. How much simpler this would be if I just told you their son’s name and their last name? Alas. Not going to happen. But I will list a few names they like very much, and have considered, but have decided at this point not to use for one reason or another: Georgiana, Annabel, Henrietta, Bridget, Petra, Genevieve.

Okay, it’s your turn. Our turn. Oh yes, I plan to brainstorm today and post my suggestions too. Any ideas? I’m sure you’re full of them… Particularly you, my friend Abby Sandel of the fabulous baby name blog Appellation Mountain (where I stumbled upon Little Girl’s name last December!)

Ready, set, go! Let’s name my sister’s baby girl! If the above confuses you (it kind of confuses me) just throw out some unique baby girl names you love.

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Some Happy News!!! (One Year Later!!!)

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{Oh those exclamation points. This is becoming a bit of a problem…}

Calm down. I’m not pregnant again! That would certainly be happy news, but a bit soon. Little Girl is just six months and the reality is that she’s probably our last child. It is hard for me to even write this. I know that we are infinitely blessed to have a trio of happy and healthy blue-eyed babes at home, but the notion of never being pregnant again is quite tough for me. It is.

So, no. I’m not announcing that I am with child. But I am announcing a pregnancy…

Exactly one year ago today, on September 13, 2010, I shared the news here on ILI that I was pregnant with Little Girl. And today, on September 13, 2011, I am announcing that my Little Sister C is pregnant! And, get this, she is due on Little Girl’s birthday. How fun is that? Fun, I tell you.

So. I am really excited for C and her hubby N and their little dude Baby Bulldog. Those of you who have been reading my words for a while might remember the story of Baby Bulldog’s debut in this big, bad world. If you haven’t read that sweet and silly story, click here. Anyway, it’s absurd how quickly time flies. I remember that day like it was yesterday. And I remember the day I announced my own pregnancy like it was three hours ago. Time is a nutty thing.

So. We are all really excited that the Donnelley fam will continue to grow. And believe it or not, I’m not envious of C and her burgeoning belly (okay, only a bit). Just extremely pumped for them. For all of us.

C will find out whether she is expecting another boy or a girl in just a few weeks. My money’s on girl… We shall see!

Congrats, C and fam. I love you guys and can’t wait to meet your little one in a few months’ time.

_____________________________

Did you honestly think I was pregnant again? :) Isn’t it awesome that C is due on Little Girl’s birthday? Do you think she will have a boy or a girl?

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Finding Friends Online & “In Real Life”

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Hands down, one of my favorite aspects of blogging has been the connections I’ve made in this odd and wonderful land. Truth be told, I didn’t enter the blogging ranks to find new friends, but it turns out I’ve made some. This has been a tremendous, if unanticipated perk, of being here. What’s even more amazing is that I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some of these blog buds in real life.

Who are these “virtureal” friends whom I’ve now encountered in person?

Well, first, there’s Lindsey. If you’re a regular here, I imagine you’ve visited Lindsey’s exquisite blog A Design So Vast as well. If not, please do so. I would say Lindsey is the first true blog friend I made. Over the past two-plus years, Lindsey and I have traded countless emails and have indulged in scores of meaningful phone conversations. Even though Lindsey lives many miles from Manhattan in Cambridge, Massachusetts I’ve hung out with her several times; she even attended my Life After Yes launch party. Lindsey has become a good friend of mine; Often, we blog about similar topics, about embracing life’s melancholy as rich material for our own thinking and writing. But even beyond our blogs, Lindsey and I have very similar attitudes it seems about life and love and parenting. She’s the real deal.

And then there’s Danielle. Again, many of you have likely heard of the fire-starting genius Danielle LaPorte. Well, I stumbled upon Danielle’s brilliant blog White Hot Truth when I first began blogging myself. Immediately, I was in love with her musings; It’s not often that you encounter a brethren modern day philosopher. I first met Danielle when I hosted a Firestarter gathering in my old apartment. And Danielle didn’t disappoint. She sat cross-legged in my big white wing chair and inspired us all. To think big and do big. To be who it is we are supposed to be. Recently, Danielle was in town for business and she made the effort to stop by and meet my girls. We sat in my garden sipping water from blue plastic wine glasses. She fed Little Girl a bottle while the big girls skipped around us. We talked about books and babies, about life and loss. I said to myself, She is a friend of mine. A real friend.

And then we have Gale. Gale was one of my first and loyal commenters here at ILI and these days writes beautifully at her own blog Ten Dollar Thoughts. I can always count on Gale to make me think, and to notice things I might not have otherwise. Gale and I email regularly and she is an exceedingly thoughtful and generous person; She checked in all the time during my pregnancy and sent me an incredibly meaningful baby gift when Little Girl was born. I’ve had the privilege of meeting Gale in person twice now. The first was a double date with our respective husbands. We went for a yummy Mexican meal and had a great time. More recently, Gale came to Manhattan on business and she and I went for dinner a-deux. Again, the conversation was rich. Another good and genuine friend.

And most recently? One week ago, I had lunch with Kristen of Motherese. Kristen is a fellow Yalie and mother of three. In fact, Kristen just welcomed her littlest babe (Baby Sister) one month before I welcomed my littlest babe (Little Girl). Kristen’s blog is one of my all-time favorites; She writes eloquently and uniquely about the world and wilderness that is modern motherhood. Over salads and ice coffees, Kristen and I covered much territory; the delicate balance between parenthood and prose, the dilemmas that come with blogging, the postpartum haze from which we are both just now emerging. I guess it could have been weird having lunch with someone I’ve never met before, but it just wasn’t. I sat there and quickly realized something: This is just a lunch date with a friend.

And there are others, wonderful others whom I’ve met more briefly. At BlogHer last summer (when I was newly pregnant with Little Girl and feeling terribly nauseous), I met some fabulous other bloggers: Mama from The Elmo Wallpaper, Denise from Musings de Mommy, Corinne from Trains, Tutus & Tea Time, Becca from Drama for Mama, Sarah from Momalom, Christine from Coffees & Commutes, Heather from The Extraordinary Ordinary and Heather from Theta Mom. I wish I felt better at the time and could have spent more time getting to know these women, but I trust we will all cross paths again. I hope so at least. And many months ago, I had pastries and coffee with Nic from My Bottle’s Up and her handsome husband. A few weeks ago, I finally had the privilege of meeting the fabulous and smart Kathryn of Marbury v. Madison Avenue at a delightful book party downtown.

I’m no doubt forgetting a few of you here. Hope not. The point though is not to rattle off a laundry list of names. The point, I think, has something to do with the fact that there are real and amazing people behind the blogs we all read. I think it’s easy to forget this, to lose ourselves in well-polished words and stunning stories, to stop at the screen. Blogs? They aren’t just cyber-stops. They are bits and pieces of real creatures, living and breathing and thinking and worrying individuals.

And I’ve been lucky enough to meet some of these individuals. To glimpse the smiles and souls behind the screens. To meet some new friends.

______________________________

Do you ever forget that there are real people behind the words you read – online or off? Have you made any friends online? Have you met any bloggers in real life? Were these people like you expected them to be or do you think we are all probably quite different in real life?

Are you a blogger in the Manhattan area? If so, would you be interested in possible “real life” meet-ups?

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Name My Friend’s Baby Boy!

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On June 25, 2009, almost exactly two years ago, I wrote a letter to my four best law school girlfriends. In that letter, I celebrated the fact that among us, we had welcomed six baby girls. No boys, just girls. And guess what? In the last two years, we have popped out five more girls! Now, that makes eleven little girls among the five of us big girls. And zero boys. There is something remarkable – and bizarre – about this statistic, no?

Anyway. One of these friends – let’s call her J – is expecting her second child in October. A few weeks ago, she had that big ultrasound and learned something quite shocking – to her and to her hubby and to all of us – she is expecting a boy! The streak was bound to be broken at some point, right?

The other week, J and I were catching up – about my circus of a life with three kiddos, about her adorable toddler and her pregnancy, and the topic quickly turned to baby names. Now many of you know I am a wee bit obsessed with names in general and baby names in particular, so this was fun for me. Together, J and I brainstormed what she should name her little guy. Because I am 99% sure I’m done having children (wah), I was quick to toss out my favorite boy names. J rattled off some possible names. And then she asked me if I would be willing to whip up a blog post and let all of you help name her baby.

Of course! I know you guys like the name game. After all, the all-time most popular post on this blog is Name My Baby. And even though I didn’t end up selecting a name for Little Girl from among your fabulous suggestions, I found your feedback very inspiring and Husband and I ended up deciding on a name a mere five days later!

So, here’s the deal. Her beautiful little girl is named Sloane. I will not reveal their last name because I don’t want to compromise their privacy, but it is something along the lines of Johnson. So we need to find a good (neither super-popular nor super-obscure) name for Sloane’s little bro. A name that sounds good with Johnson.

Are you up to this challenge? Hope so! And so does J! :)

Okay. Ready. Set. Name my friend’s baby boy!

(Pretty please.)

I know I have been terrible about reading and commenting on your blogs and am thus entirely undeserving of your comments here, but please take a moment and suggest some names for my friend’s baby boy! Depending on the response, I might leave this post up for a few days to ensure a good number of name ideas.

____________________________________

Do you enjoy brainstorming baby names as much as I do? Do you think it is trickier to name a second child since the second name must “fit” with the first? Do you think sibling names should go well together? Do more of your friends have girls or boys?

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Small Talk With Strangers

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I’ve encountered a handful of people in my life who are excellent at making small talk with strangers. Somehow, they know just how to say hello, how and when to pony up an anecdote, how to achieve a level of humor and intimacy that is appropriate.

Alas, I am not one of these people. I’ve never wanted to be. Or so I thought.

It has occurred to me recently that there is something wonderful – and incomparable – about chatting with friendly strangers, about trading bits of bios, about indulging in random riffs of conversation.

And so. The other day I tried my hand at the art of small talk. I was in a salon chair. On the other side of the mirror another woman was having her hair done as well. I could only see her feet – a bit swollen in flats that appeared too small. And I heard her voice. It seemed young to me. But it was her words that captivated me. It turned out she was quite the talker. In no time, I learned that she was 39 weeks pregnant with her first child. A boy. I learned that her husband was traveling on business which made her nervous because she was having contractions. I learned that she felt huge and was ready to give birth. I also learned that she and her husband were just approved for a car loan even though they’d been rejected at first.

I smiled as I listened to her. I smiled because her words stirred up something familiar in me – that phase of giddy anticipation, of can’t-sit-still excitement. I smiled because three kiddos later, I still get it. The profound precipice of parenthood on which a young woman stands only once.

As fate would have it, this girl and I ended up in a little waiting area of the salon at the same time. I flipped through fashion magazines and she was focused on her laptop. I didn’t think much about it, but just did it.

I said something.

When are you due? I asked, making sure to smile. I asked this even though I knew the answer.

In a week, she said, and looked away quickly.

That’s so exciting, I said. I just had my third girl two months ago.

She smiled. Said nothing. Retreated to her screen.

And that was that. There was no conversation, no sprinkling of stories. There were just a few strained words and half-glances and then silence. Pure silence marred only by the nearby buzz of hairdryers.

Oh well. I tried!

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Are you good at striking up conversations with strangers? Do you think there is something important and instructive about chatting with people we do not know? Why do you think this girl was so willing to spill her life story to her hairdresser, but was almost unwilling to acknowledge me? Do you think blogging is in many ways akin to making small talk with strangers?

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