Yesterday was a marathon day. I took the big girls to two back-to-back birthday parties downtown while Husband hung here with the tiny one. We reunited in the early evening at Mom’s as we do every Sunday. Once home, and once the trio were tucked in, Husband and I retreated to the couch with our shakes (we are one week into our three-week cleanse) to watch the Giants game. Not surprisingly, I nodded off, coming to here and there during exciting points of the game. When the game was over, I noted to my man that I didn’t feel quite right. I stood up slowly, felt dizzy, and ran to the bathroom. That’s where I spent the night. I even curled up on the tile floor for a 2:30am-4:00am stretch. It was lovely.

Actually, it was not lovely at all. I haven’t felt this sick in years, if ever.

The stomach flu? I’m not a fan.

This morning, I’m just impossibly weak, but the fact that I am sitting up writing this is a good sign. I plan to be back to my regular self by tomorrow. But I also planned to be my regular self today; to rise early and whip off a fun and interesting post, to ferry my girls to school, to immerse myself in my novel. Alas. Plans don’t always stick.

Anyway. I came here to tell you why I’m not here in the way I’d like to be today. Because some wily child soaked me with some nasty flu germs yesterday (that’s my theory). Now, I’m just hoping that my man and my kids will be spared from this ugliness.

Okay, back to my seltzer and to my fetal position on the couch. And back to the Today Show. Just learned that Heidi Klum and Seal are kaput which actually makes me kind of sad because of all of the Hollywood sillies, they seemed, well, good. Now I am learning how to make some Chinese potstickers. Will be on that as soon as this cleanse is kaput. Speaking of cleanses, if it is weight loss you are after, picking up a wicked strain of the stomach flu seems to be far more effective than swilling powdery shakes. Just saying

When’s the last time you were blindsided by a nasty flu? Are you surprised about Heidi & Seal?

I don’t know about you, but I am a bit relieved that the holidays are over. We Rowleys have been racing since the middle of November and I’m ready to slow down a bit. I’m also ready to reacquaint myself with discipline. When it comes to writing, and to other things.

Like eating.

Yup. So cliched. To emerge from the jolly season with the desire to become more healthy. But here I am. Announcing said desire.

Yesterday, I did it. I stepped on the scale. This is something I haven’t done in some time. And I saw what I expected to see. That I’d gained a bit. Not a ton. Not a dramatic amount. But a few pesky pounds.

Okay, five-ish.

I stepped off that scale with this predictable but disconcerting shred of information and I went on with my day. But first. I did something. I wrote down the date and my weight. I also vowed to do something else: To weigh myself daily. And to write down everything I eat, and the calories in those things, until those five-ish pounds are gone.

I am at Cosi as I write this. I just ate breakfast. An egg white veggie wrap. 264 calories.

I will keep this up. This exercise in ownership, in discipline.

And next week? Husband and I are embarking upon a joint cleanse. He did this cleanse last year and loved it. For a few weeks, we will make shakes and healthy meals together, to get our collective nutritional mojo back. I’m excited. Is that weird?

A month from now? I imagine I will be feeling quite good, full of better energy and better habits. That we will. I look forward to that.

Until then? I will step on that scale upon waking. And I will be aware of what I put in my body. And I will write it all down. Including minutes of daily exercise.

A bit boring? Indeed. But probably quite effective, too. Goodness, I hope so

Did you gain any weight over the holidays? Are you happy we are in January? Are you good about imposing dietary discipline on yourself? Have you ever tried a nutritional cleanse? Do you think this post smacks of perfectionism?

I promised to share more pictures from J and N’s wedding this past weekend. And here they are. A sampling of the oodles I took. This first one? It is a close-up of my bridesmaid’s bouquet. The colors were stunning and vibrant. Symbolic of the event itself.

The drive there was decent. There were tears of course, but we made it the whole way without catching vomit in Tupperware. (The ride back? Another story entirely. Both big girls threw up and the tiny one screamed as if she has an ear infection. Wait, she does have an ear infection. It all makes sense now.) We stopped at a highway rest stop for potty trips and gas. The girls of course wanted everything at the little convenient store.

They begged us to play that silly game with the mechanical arm and stuffed animals. You know, that game that is utterly impossible to win and almost invariably ends in tears? Anyway. We obliged. And, get this? It was three dollars per game but you got to play until you successfully grabbed an animal. Genius. Husband did his fatherly duties, capturing the desired bumble bee for Big Girl and the pink ant-thing for Middle Girl. Little Girl is not old enough to request an animal so she did not get one. Sorry, little one. (For the record: Best $6 we have ever spent.)

After a successful rehearsal at the church and a lovely rehearsal dinner hosted by N’s parents, we all got some sleep (oh, wait, we didn’t. Middle Girl decided that sleep was so 2010 and stayed up all night running between her bed and ours). The girls and I met my Mom, Grammy, J, bridesmaids and female family for a yummy wedding day breakfast hosted by Aunt L. And then we were off to the bridal suite where we hung around doing wonderful girly things like get our hair and makeup done and help J step into her exquisite dress.

We indulged in a little wedding party toast.

We accompanied J downstairs where she saw her dad, and then soon-to-be hubby N for the first time. An auspicious, tear-jerking moment. The air was thick with emotion.

Husband and I joined the rest of the bridal party to take pictures in gorgeous spots around DC. If my silly iPhone photos look this good, I can’t even imagine how glorious the professional ones will be.

The cozy couple. I adore this picture.

The bridesmaid dresses were a deep navy/plum and beautiful and J gifted us with wraps – ethereal and twiggy and just perfect.

I snapped a picture of Husband on a hill. One of my favorite shots ever. There is something about that little red house that gets me.

At the church, we were ready to go. The littlest flower girl was feverish and flushed, sporting doll-like rosy cheeks. She was a trooper, scooting around on the carpet, gathering tiny petal pieces her big sisters had dropped. She and her big sisters were champs, making their way down that fabled aisle, smiling, scattering flowers, or just clinging to my hip and trying to grab my lush bouquet. There were no tears. Score!

Little Girl went home to bed, but we told the big girls they could come and dance and eat wedding cake. Both had taken a nap in the afternoon in preparation for this treat. Here, they study the cake. The bride laughed as she caught Big Girl taking a swipe of frosting with her little finger. Uh oh. Perfect behavior is a tad boring anyway, huh?

The setting was a waterfront restaurant. And utterly amazing. Grammy planned this whole wedding and it was phenomenal. The details were warm and wonderful and unique. The food was delicious.

But the best part of the night as far as I am concerned? The dancing. While the adults tucked into their entrees, my little girls rendezvoused with their cousins on the dance floor. And they danced. And danced. Like really danced. Who taught my girls how to dance? I certainly didn’t.

They shimmied and twirled, smiling big. They ran in circles. They had the time of their life.

They did this until 10pm. My kids have never ever stayed up past eight. But on this night, we made an exception and so did they. There was no way we were going to pluck these tiny dancers from that floor.

They stayed long enough to watch J dance with Dad-Dad. And, of course, I couldn’t help but think: These little girls will do this one day. They will don a white dress and dance with Daddy. And I will stand back, misty-eyed, and watch.

Finally, the time came. I whisked the girls back to the hotel. They skipped through the hotel lobby, smiles fixed, still clutching those little white baskets, now empty. I let them press the buttons in the elevator like I always do and then I followed them down the long hallway toward our suite. Inside, I stripped them down, out of their white puffy clouds, and we picked PJs. When I kissed them goodnight, they were still smiling.

This weekend was something I will always remember. For many reasons. Mainly, I think, because it was a real family affair. Because it was stuffed with moments and meaning. Because my little girls did their duties and danced so beautifully, with such purpose and freedom. Because I have a new brother-in-law. Because this is really what it is all about. Family. Fun. Love.

Speaking of family and fun and love, we are packing up again and heading to Philly to spend Thanksgiving with the newlyweds and Grammy and Dad-Dad. The plan is to leave tomorrow after the kids’ school celebrations. And so, in the spirit of slowing down and savoring family and food and all of life’s goodies, I will not be posting for the rest of the week. Instead, I will be cuddling up with family old and new, looking at wedding pictures and telling wedding stories. Instead, I will be saying and living one word, one important word: Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving, All! See you next week!

A couple weeks ago, I announced that I would be embarking upon a new work schedule. The plan was to devote every Tuesday and Thursday to writing my second book. I was a bit sheepish about publishing my new schedule here because I don’t think I believed that I’d really stick to it. But I have. And maybe it sounds silly to say this, but I’m proud of myself. Because I am finally dignifying my writing as work which it undeniably is. Because I am actually making a ton of progress.

That’s right. In four days, I have written 13,395 words which amounts to about 53 double-spaced pages. And guess what? I submitted those pages to my lovely agent and we have a phone date this morning to discuss them. Truth be told, I know these pages will evolve tremendously, that profound editing must be done. But still. This is big.

There is a lesson here. For me, certainly. And maybe for you. If you decide to just do it and carve out the time to just do it, well you might then just do it, whatever it might be.

The picture above? It is a page from my evolving manuscript. It seems Middle Girl decided it needed some major work.

The picture above? I love it. I love it because it is symbolic of my life right now. A life of writing and wrangling little ones. A life of black and white and brilliant color. A life of stories and scribbles.

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Do you think I can keep up with my writing schedule? Do your little ones like to scribble on your things? Does progress make you giddy? What is it that you would like to devote time to doing?

Today is Halloween. And I will be running costume-clad kiddos to and from school and dealing with the consequences of a prolonged sugar high. I will be holding tiny hands of a poodle and a princess, going door to door along my childhood block, uttering age-old parental phrases: Take just one. Say thank you. I will be shifting a wide-eyed leopard from hip to hip. Her first Halloween.

But I will also be remembering. Because for many years, many good years, I was a kid on this day. And I dressed up and got excited and hoarded candy. For some reason, either profound or perfunctory – I cannot readily tell – this holiday holds immense meaning for me. Maybe it’s because it happens in fall, my very favorite season. Or maybe because I was forever a fan of the one-day-identity-shift, becoming someone else, something else, for a short snippet of happy time. Maybe it’s because of the candy. I’ve always loved candy and as a kid I wasn’t allowed to eat it except for on this day. (Ha.)

I suspect it is all of these things and much more. I think it has something to do with family, with tradition. I remember sitting with my sisters and Mom and Dad, hunched over soggy sheets of The New York Times, carving big misshapen pumpkins into spooky creatures who would sit in the windows of our second floor. I remember that haunting Humpback whale music Dad would play on that one night every year, how it would drift through the darkened halls of our home. I remember Mom’s chili. The big vat of cozy chili she whipped up every year for our friends on the block. How we all ate it eagerly, mixing in sour cream and onions. I remember that curmudgeonly neighbor who would give us only apples, or pennies, or one year, a toothbrush. And I remember the aftermath of a night of trick-or-treating. My friends, sisters, and I on the floor of our big bedroom, spreading our loot over patches of carpet, making trades, making ourselves sick.

And I remember, of course, the costumes. There was Rainbow Brite, a referee, a Yale football player. In college, the costumes became a little less involved – the Cat in the Hat in black, a Rorschach ink blot (think: all black, bizarre movements). And, most meaningfully perhaps, was Larrietta Birdetta in fifth grade. I wore a long curly blond wig and my beloved Larry Bird jersey. Sexy, no?

And now. Here we are again. On this day.

And I come at this day from a different place, with a different lens. Today I am a mom. I will snap pictures of little happy creatures in costume. I will negotiate candy consumption. I will shepherd little ones through this big day.

But I will also eat chili. And some candy. And I will remember.

I will also look around, do my best to give close attention despite the assured chaos, and realize that memories are being made today, and tonight. That, one day, my little girls will be big like I am, caught in that exquisite place beyond childhood, that place stuffed with memories, and moments, and all around magic.

Happy Halloween, all. Make good memories.

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Do you have any particular memories of this holiday? What are your kids dressing as tonight? Are you dressing up? Anyone else psyched for the candy?