I wasn't going to blog today. I wasn't.
I've been thinking all day about how I wasn't going to blog. And here I am. Blogging. But this will be short and sweet. Five minutes tops. Because I have a good day, an exquisite day, to get back to.
In case I haven't hammered you over the head with this fact enough, today is my birthday. At best, I am ambivalent about birthdays. At worst, they make me even more insecure than I already am.
But today has been nothing short of perfect. And if you know me at all, you know I deplore the word 'perfect' and the concept of perfection. I don't believe that perfection exists. And yet. Today has been the most perfect perfection.
I woke up at 8:09am. I cannot remember the last time I slept this late. (Sorry to scare you non-parental units out there.) I woke up and found Husband in the living room. He was flanked by two tiny girls. My girls. They attacked me with hugs. We ate Halloween donuts. We had a decidedly normal morning. Then I went to the grocery store and the gym. Ah, the glamor. At the gym, I read US Magazine, savoring bits of delicious celebrity gossip and listening to oldies on my iPod. Britney. Dave Matthews. U2.
While the girls napped this afternoon, Husband and I ate sandwiches. And then I fell asleep on the couch.
The point is that the day has been utterly normal and for me, that's utterly perfect. Because I love our normal. At this very minute, Husband is in the shower. Baby is sucking on my BlackBerry. Toddler is napping. Our living room is a disaster. Winnie the Pooh is on the television. The sun is filtering through the window. I am here. On the computer. Where I told myself I wouldn't be today. But, alas, I am. I am here because this is a place I've grown to love more than I ever imagined.
While at the gym, I thought about something. Something other than the fact that I secretly love Britney Spears and how amazing it is that Nicole Richie has already lost all her baby weight. I thought about the fact that each year has 365 days. 365 days. That is about the length of your average novel. So, every day of the year is a new page and each year is its very own story. I love this. I love that a new story begins every year. It does.
Today is the first page. And if this page is any indication, there is a wonderful tale ahead.
Thank you all for supporting me and my baby blog over the past several months. Thank you for your comments and understanding. Thank you dear friends and family, newer and older, for your well-wishes on this day. (Please click here and read Lindsey's gorgeous and generous words to me.) Thank you all for reading my thoughts and listening to my worries and coming back day after day.
I don't know exactly what my thirty-second birthday will look like, but I have a feeling part of it will be spent right here. And I wouldn't have it any other way.