It turns out that the biggest news around here is not that I have a sexy and sassy new look. Nope. There is something even more meaningful on our Rowley existential radar. Something both huge and very tiny.
I am pregnant!!!
You all know that I am not a fan of the exclamation point, and I'm particularly wary of exclamation points that come in triplets, but hey, I'm excited. We're excited. All of us. To be more precise, we are happy/shocked/overwhelmed/anxious/happy. Husband and I told the girls our news about a week ago. It wasn't part of a grand plan we had, but Toddler was on to us. She kept pointing to my belly and kissing it. And so. We told them.
"Guess what, girls?" I said. "There's a baby in my belly!" Their reaction? Well, Toddler looked like she was about to cry. But then I realized she was actually focused on a particularly tense moment of Wonder Pets. Baby said incredulously, "Naaah! No baby! Let me check!" And then she picked up my pajama top to check. Not sure what she concluded.
It turns out they are both fine with our news but only if we give them a sister. We'll see what we can do, girls.
Anyway. It's been a bit weird blogging over the past couple months without mentioning this highly relevant detail about my/our current life. Particularly because, well, I've been feeling pretty rotten. A steady stream of low-level morning sickness plus vicious headaches does not a happy camper make. It's also been strange to try to cook up compelling conversations here when all I've really wanted to say is: "Hey guys, I am going to be a mother again. I'm thrilled. And very very tired."
So, this is a relief. A happy relief. That I am spilling the beans. That I am sharing our news, our excitement, our latest. But this is also scary. It is one thing sharing this breed of news with friends and family, but another thing entirely to broadcast this to the Internet. As I know all too well, things can go wrong in pregnancy, and a good part of me wants to hide.
But. There are so many reasons, and good ones, to open up about this. This is an amazing, if complicated time. I want to write about it. There are questions I want to ask. There are stories I want to tell. There is ambivalence I want to excavate. Though I can't possibly admit this to myself, this will very likely be my last pregnancy, and I want to be able to look back and see what it is I felt and feared, how my body and mind and writing changed during this wonderful period.
I have not yet figured out how, and how much, my pregnancy will feature on this blog. Will I post weekly belly photos and weight gain stats? Unlikely, but maybe. Will I regale you with all of my loony food cravings and aversions and all the absolutely silly things my pregnancy brain has already led me to do? Quite possibly. Will I open up about how I worry that having a third child might just throw a wrench in my career as a writer? If I am brave enough.
I will talk about my pregnancy somewhere between Never and Always. Sound good?
For now. That's it. Our news. My news.
And I wanted you all to know. I did. Because for the next six months? It's not just about me anymore.
P.S. The above shot is not our ultrasound. You know that I would only post a picture of my unborn child from the back :)
- Any advice about welcoming our third child?
- Did you leak some IQ points while pregnant?
- How did your older kids react when you told them a baby was on the way?
- Do you think I am foolish for going for #3 when many would say I should be focusing only on the birth of book #2?
- How much would you like to hear about my pregnancy on this blog?
- Anything specifically you would like me to write and think about vis-a-vis my pregnancy?
- Do you have a guess whether I will have a boy or girl?