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My First Kiss

my first kiss

I have been thinking. About the things in our pasts that mattered, but no one cares about anymore. Or asks about. One such thing? First kisses. I think it's safe to say we have all had a first kiss in our life. And it was amazing or absolutely forgettable or somewhere in between. No matter. It happened. And, at the time, it meant something, right? A first kiss is a romantic milestone.

And yet. We are all adults now. More or less. And we do adult things. Many of us are in committed relationships. Many of us have kids. Many of us spend our days talking about deadlines or diapers, colleagues or coloring books, bills or baby dolls. We are not given much opportunity to talk about pieces of our past, of who we once were.

When is the last time you thought about your first kiss ever? When is the last time you told someone about it?

I was twelve or thirteen. At summer camp. A raging tomboy who was just starting to think about boys. I spent my days in a ponytail and shorts playing soccer and basketball and softball and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At some point in the summer, the girl campers started coupling up with the boy campers. I honestly can't recall how this system worked. But it did. I decided I liked a boy named Jon. He was tall and older. And, thrillingly, he was a big fan of the Boston Celtics and U2. Somehow, I learned through the bizarre camp grapevine that he liked me too.

And then. We started hanging out. At socials. After movie nights. And, at one point, we kissed. I think it was a good kiss, but I don't really remember and, let's be honest, I had no point of reference. We kissed a lot that summer, but sports came first. Of course.

That's it.

What amazes me is how little I remember of this first kiss. I remember who this boy was, his name, his general appearance, but that's it. I don't remember where we were at the time, how I felt before or after. There is an utter paucity of detail.

Why is this? Why did my mind not take hold of this moment and memorize it? I don't know. Maybe I once remembered more about this exchange, but with time, its edges have grown blurry. Maybe as I get older, I am better aware of the big moments in life and this just wasn't one. Maybe our minds and memories only have so much room and first kiss details leak out with time.

But even without the details, there are clues there. My young eyes zeroed in on a tall and handsome athlete. A kind guy. Someone a few years older. Sounds a lot like Husband. Maybe types are born early.

Where is this Jon? This creature I haven't seen in almost twenty years? Is he married with children? Is he an astronaut? A banker? A blogger? Does he remember our summer of kisses or have they faded into the landscape of his past too?

I will never know these things. But it is fun to go back and (try to) remember.

Last night, when pondering this post and mining my memory for details to communicate, I asked Husband about his very first kiss. I had never asked him this and he smiled. He told me that his first kiss came during a game of Spin the Bottle. The lucky recipient? A girl named Kim. His story, like mine, was simple. There weren't too many layers. Just the basics. But we had so much fun talking about these things. Who we were many years ago.

And then. Because I couldn't leave it alone, I asked.

"So, this Kim girl. Do you have any clue what she's up to?"

"Yeah," Husband said. "We're Facebook friends."

"Huh?"

(Don't you love that feeling when totally irrational jealousy takes hold?)

(We may or may not have looked this Kim chick up on Facebook. She may or may not have a really cute kid.)

Now it's your turn...

_________________________________

  • Share your first kiss story.
  • Do you remember the details or have they scattered?
  • Where is your first-kiss-person these days? Are you Facebook friends with him/her?
  • Did you play Spin the Bottle when you were young? (I never did!)
  • Should I try to find Jon on Facebook to even things up? :)

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