Am I alone? I am trying to fight it, but I'm not sure why. What is it that I'm trying to fight? The urge to step back, shrink inward, to regain a core of privacy, to put the computer away (when I am not writing my book). The compelling instinct to give social media the cold shoulder.
Blasphemy, I know.
Or is it? I don't know. I've been at this for almost three years. This blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting, spending a good chunk of my daily time online thing. But before that what did I do? Is it weird that I don't fully remember? It's like trying to remember life before Email or the Cell Phone.
Strange. Impossible. What?
Here's the thing. I don't know whether I am experiencing a typical phase of social media burnout/introspection or whether this is something more significant. It could be that my body and mind just want a bit of R&R after going so strong for so long. OR. It could be something more meaningful than that.
I am writing about this because I get the sense that I am far from alone in feeling these things. I know many fellow authors and mothers and bloggers have expressed a similar sentiment about social media.
The interesting thing? Recently, I have been quite good about tending to my "real world" relationships. I have been good about seeing friends, and supporting them, and letting them support me. I have hosted and attended a slew of brilliant play dates and just threw a genuinely fun and festive holiday party for friends and family. I have been having a gorgeous time with my girls, indulging in quiet moments, legendary silliness (involving junk mail treasures and magic sugar packets), and in evening Christmas carol dance parties. I have been having wonderful conversations with my man.
I wonder sometimes if it is not truly possible to immerse ourselves well, and richly, in online and offline worlds at the very same time? But maybe this is a cop-out, an excuse. Maybe I am just changing, or tired, or something.
After publishing my post yesterday wherein I mentioned my recent growing unease with blogging, a friend and ILI loyal wrote me an email. She pointed something out that may or may not be true. She said that my blogging has gotten a lot more personal lately. She noted that since Little Girl was born, I have written almost exclusively about myself, or my girls, or my family. She mentioned that I used to ponder a broader spectrum of topics, and questions, many of which were not truly about me. She said she liked reading these older posts.
For some reason, this email made me wince. Maybe because it was true. Maybe because I have been very intentional about getting more personal here, about excavating important existential soil. Since welcoming my third child, my life has gotten more complicated and I have relished the opportunity to sift through the complications here, to consider what it means to be me these days. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is perhaps just why I blog. To generate thoughtful comments from those whom I respect. And this email was nothing, if thoughtful.
Maybe my reluctance in this world has to do with this, the fact that I have felt unnecessarily compelled of late to reveal bits and pieces of self and soul here. Maybe I should go back to pondering the serious and silly questions about life, but not necessarily my life? It is worth thinking about. Because I love this place. This world. And as much as I hem and haw and threaten, there will be no cold shoulders given. At least not yet.
Thoughts? Anyone else feeling anti-social when it comes to social media? What do you think this is all about? Do you agree that my blogging has gotten excessively personal? In general, do you prefer personal or impersonal blog posts, or some combination thereof?