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Welcome to my little corner of the ether. This is where you will find information about my books and musings on life and love in New York City. To stay in the loop about all things ADR...


How Is Your Marriage?

Suddenly, I know a fair number of people getting divorced. And it makes me sad. It makes me sad because I can't imagine the pain inherent in the unraveling, in the parsing of things and thoughts. I can't imagine any of it.

And, frankly, it makes me thankful. It makes me realize what I have. A man whom I love deeply and complexly who is also my very best friend. A man who mocks the artful way in which I load the dishwasher, a man who puts up with my dramatic overthinking of existence, a man who brings me a cup of coffee when he knows I need it.

On Saturday night, as we walked home from dinner, I hung back. I hung back and I snapped a photo of this man, this man whom I love and this man who loves me. The picture is distressed and faded and blurry in spots, but, still, I adore it. I adore it for its dreamlike, ethereal, wispy ethos. I love it for the fact that it is him, just him, not him with the kids hanging from his limbs, not him being a superstar dad. Just him. A person.

I vow to do this more: To hang back. To realize. To not take for granted the immense and complicated and abiding affection I feel for this guy.

Do you know a lot of people splitting up? Do you agree with my theory that a lot of people divorce after 5-10 years of marriage because they feel like they are young enough to begin again but also that they have given many years and much effort to their marriage?

Rated P... For Parenthood

On Men & Flowers