For the record, I'm not a fan of this post's title. I'd rather it be: Whom Do You Write For? But I'm a grammar girl. Anyway, it's an important question no matter how we choose to phrase it. When we sit down at the blank page or the blank screen, are we doing it with an audience in mind or are we doing it for ourselves? I have a hard time answering this one. Sometimes, I feel like I am aiming for something, a certain cuteness, a certain flavor, a certain something that will appeal to a bevy of imaginary people I imagine reading my words. Usually, those are the pieces that fall flat or flop. It is when I sit down and just write something that matters to me, or means something to me, something that helps me think or process or progress that I produce something real and maybe even good. I really need to remember this. Because this is not just about writing. It is about life. I think when we do things without worrying about affirmation and applause, when we do not concern ourselves with fitting a certain mold, when we are most ourselves, living and loving in a way that feels natural and easy, things usually work out pretty well. I know, I know, easier said than done.
I am going to try to keep all of this in mind here on this blog and out in the world. That intentions matter most, that who we are day to day is paramount, that it is not the number of comments or subscribers or gold stars that matter most, but who we are and how we feel.
Who am I? I am a mom and a wife and a friend and a writer. I am a seeker, a stumbler, a smiler. How do I feel? I feel exhausted and inspired and eager to keep editing this messy and wonderful draft that is life. Because the work is never done, is it? There aren't enough red pens in the world.
This post? I wrote it for me. And also for you. Because maybe something in here speaks to you. But if not that's okay too. Off to snuggle my sweet and sleepy girls toward bed. Hope you guys had a good Monday.