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The Kind of Mother I Am

girls in white

{My babes. Summer 2012.}

We humans are wired, it seems, to label. We like boxes. Species. Types. They make us feel safe, organized, in control. But the thing is, there are some things that defy categorization, diagramming. Big, important things like, say, parenthood.

What kind of mom am I? What's interesting is that after six years of doing this gig, I know what kind of mother I am, but that doesn't mean it's easy to articulate. I know that I am not a Helicopter Mom or an Attachment Mom or a Tiger Mom. I'm not really sure I understand what those things are, but I know they aren't me. I know this because I don't approach mothering my girls with one particular philosophy. It might be easier if I did, if I had some pre-set dictates on how to raise these beings, but that's not who I am. I am more of an instinct-based, go with the flow unless that's no longer appropriate mom. I am more of a have fun with them, let them have what they want unless that is inappropriate. Is this confusing, messy to you? Told you so.

I am the kind of mom that...

...says 'I love you' about 987 times a day.

...lets her girls have candy, milkshakes, and cookies before 9am.

...checks her phone way to often.

...screws up appointments.

...prefers kitchen dance parties to almost anything else.

...lets her kids say not-so-great words like butt, fart and poop.

...grows unsettled if she goes too long without seeing her babes.

...encourages the art of silliness.

...gets down on the floor to play.

...tells ridiculous and often inappropriate stories.

...tends to begin sentences with, When Mommy was a girl...

...becomes sad when her girls are sad.

...is happier when her girls are happy.

...cares tremendously about kindness.

...cares tremendously about learning.

...beats herself up from time to time. (Okay, a lot.)

...feels really good about her mothering much of the time.

...wants her girls to stay little and also to get big.

...wants her girls to need her and wants them to become independent.

...buys too many shoes for her girls.

...is bad at brushing hair.

...is too lax on the nutrition front.

...celebrates the small moments as much as the big ones.

...is thrilled to be experiencing childhood again through their eyes.

...who is far less than perfect, but who is okay with that.

...who believes in well-timed bribery.

...who writes words like these in a continued and clumsy effort to capture bits of time.

...is full of a profound and ever-complex love for her little creatures.

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