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Welcome to my little corner of the ether. This is where you will find information about my books and musings on life and love in New York City. To stay in the loop about all things ADR...


skinnier or smarter This is a silly question. This is a serious question.

Take a moment. Look at yourself objectively. Impossible, I know. But try. Step away and squint. Size yourself up. Physically. Emotionally. Intellectually. At this point in your life, are you beautiful? Are you self-aware? Are you smart?

Now. Tell me something. If you could enhance your body or your brain - be skinner or smarter - which would you choose? (Please note that I am using the terms skinniness and smartness as proxies for body and mind because I like alliteration.) If you could wave that proverbial magic wand and have Gisele's gazelle-like physique or Nietzsche's robust noggin, what would it be?

There is no right answer. I know you think you should up your smarts given the choice, that this is somehow the appropriate response to this ridiculous inquiry, but I'm not so sure. Like it or not, appearances count for a whole lot in our world. Just this week I learned that blondes earn on more than their brunette counterparts. (Go Team Blonde! Wait, am I a true blonde? Hmmm.)

To realize that this question has a bit more depth than it first appears, consider the following question. Think about your kids. Whether you have them or not. Now think about them thirty years from now. Would you rather your progeny be brilliant but terribly unattractive and unhealthy? Or would you prefer that your child be gorgeous with not much going on upstairs? I know. I know. This is an awful question. Life does not work in this either-or manner. But which would you rather?

Okay, back to today. And you. If you could up the ante physically or intellectually, what would it be? And why?


Do you think our culture values brains or beauty more? How often do you think that exquisite brains and exquisite physical beauty commingle in the same person? Do you think that at a certain point beauty detracts from brains and vice versa?

Happy Birthday, Ivy League Insecurities!

The White Picket Fence Problem