How are you?
This question floats about our days. We ask it. We are asked it. But what is the answer?
The answer changes, doesn't it? Depending on the day, on the moment of the day, it changes.
It is a little past 6am. I've been up since 4:30 writing, tinkering, drinking coffee, thinking about things. I took the above photo of myself last night. Husband and I had just put the girls to bed. A paper bag of Indian takeout sat waiting on the kitchen island. I wore my favorite oversized sweatshirt. I was riddled with exhaustion after a late night out and a busy day. I was happy. I know that's an easy word, a word that is so easy to toss out, to hide behind even. But in that small moment, it was the right word.
The food was good. And we talked. About big and little, profound and perfunctory. And then we cuddled up for Homeland. I fell asleep about eleven minutes in. Par for the course these days.
I can't explain it really, but I feel this sense of things coming together, of peace. I'm working hard and honestly on by book, but I'm not panicked about finishing it. I'm reading a lot. I'm enjoying my girls. I'm enjoying my friends. I'm getting out - of my house, of my head. I'm feeling remarkably clear.
Yesterday afternoon, I had about 30 minutes to myself. And I took those minutes and I wandered outside. The sky was heavy and hanging, gray. The air, mild. I walked and I looked around. At this beautiful city, this world that is mine. I cast my gaze up at a neighborhood building that has two towers. The San Remo. It's a building I'm curious about, one I'm writing about. For a minute or two, I imagined all the people inside, the homes, the stories.
And then I indulged in a manicure and a massage. Totally unnecessary, but blissful. I sat there, breathing, relaxing, taking care of myself. And my mind wandered because that's what it does. I thought about my life and the lives of my characters, my real world, my imagined ones.
How are you?
I am good. It is more complicated than that. It always is. But I am good. And thankful for that. Deeply thankful.
How are you? In this moment, in this day?