As I mentioned yesterday, we spent the weekend celebrating my sister-in-law J's impending nuptials. And as I also mentioned, there was a fun whispering of marital wisdom at the lovely bridal shower luncheon. All of us were given a blank index card and a pen and we were encouraged to jot some anonymous advice for the bride-to-be. My advice:
Have tons of babies. In rapid succession.
I wrote this to be clever and cute I guess. Or maybe I wrote this because I was uncomfortable ponying up serious thoughts on the experience and institution of marriage. Whatever my motivation, when J read from my card she obviously knew it was me. And, yes, there were some chuckles.
But she also read from many other cards and some of them were a bit silly too but a good number were more serious. And thoughtful. And true. Here are some that I remember:
- Never do something in the first year of marriage that you don't want to do forever.
- Leave spontaneous little love notes for your husband around the house.
- Drink lots of wine.
- Never go to bed angry. (Many people wrote this. Interesting.)
- Be best friends.
- Two words: Date Night.
There were other things written and read that were interesting, but this is what I recall at the moment. Anyway, I thought this was worth blogging about because so many of us are married or want to be married or want to understand why maybe our marriages didn't make it. And it would be foolish to think that there is a singular and secret recipe for a happy marriage, but I imagine there are some good ground rules?
And as for my advice, yes, it was silly, but it was also true in a way. For me. Husband and I are tired these days. We are often confused by how best to navigate these early years of our young girls' lives. But this profound and priceless challenge, this adventure in parenting, has truly made us closer - and happier - than ever. As far as I'm concerned at least.
(Or. Maybe I'm just saying this because this is my reality and I feel the need to justify it. Could very well be, no?)
Please share your marital wisdom (silly or serious or in between) here. Whether we have been married for ages or are yet-to-be-wed, we can all benefit from this exercise...